William J. Vasileff, M.D.
of Plastic Surgery
rencia, Enbrel, Allegra? Three infielders from this
Do you watch Storage Wars, the show that films people bid-
past summer's All-Star game, right? Jose Orencia,
ding on the contents of abandoned storage lockers? I watch it
Juan Enbrel and Julio Allegra. And they're all
with the hope that some lucky bidder will discover they paid
from the Dominican Republic, si? Of course not.
a couple hundred bucks for a locker with a hidden copy of the
They're medications. But they are part of a line-up: the
Declaration of Independence, or maybe even Jimmy Hoffa.
24/7 lineup of endless television commercials hawking phar-
(Note: As of this writing, they had not yet dug up that driveway
maceuticals, describing a virtual alphabet soup of conditions
from C.O.P.D. to E.D. Watch enough of these com-
On the day I watched, they aired 16 straight
mercials and I guarantee you'll end up with I.B.S.
Storage Wars that were filmed in California! And
Recently in one half-hour stretch, I saw com-
do you want to know what broke up that string of
mercials for six different medications. And the
repeats? Storage Wars: Texas! Yee haw!
disclaimers take up most of the ads. After hear-
Out of all the repetitive behavior of today's televi-
ing them, you wonder why you would ever take
sion programing, my favorite is ESPN's Classic sports
another medicine again. The disclaimer for the
channel. Seriously, have we run out of enough origi-
quit-smoking drug Chantix? I timed it; it's literally
nal programming to think someone would actually
45 seconds, and I learned two things — Chantix
sit down and watch a repeat of the second game of
will either help you quit smoking or make you
the first round of the 1996 NHL hockey playoff game
go insane. The upside? You could end up being a
between the Pittsburgh Penguins and Washington
physically healthier crazy person.
Capitals?! And not only is it being repeated, they tell
Drug ads aren't the only repetitive thing on tele-
you in the cable guide who won the game! If that isn't
vision. There's so much air time to fill these days
exciting enough for you, then switch over to the Big
that cable networks have been forced to repeat
10 Network. If you're lucky, maybe you can catch the
shows ad nauseum; so much so that the scheduler
2003 Illinois-Iowa football game. Wow! Don't worry,
in charge must have O.C.D., for which there are medications. I
I won't give away the score.
was watching the A&E cable network one afternoon and jotted
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent a little. That's all, for
down their line-up. Starting at noon, they aired the investiga-
now. Oh, and by the way, if you enjoyed this column, let the
tive show 48 Hours, followed at 1 p.m. by 48 Hours, followed
Jewish News know; maybe they'll repeat it next month.
at 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 by ... 48 Hours! And within those hours,
they repeated the repeats!!! The network calls it a "marathon," I
Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voiceover/acting talent, speaker and
call it monotonous.
emcee. Visit his website at laughwithbigaLcom.
• Rhinoplasty Specialist
• Double Board Certified
• Exceptional educational
and training background
• University of Michigan —
•The Cleveland Clinic —
University of Pennsylvania
Oct. 4-10, 2012 18-24 Tishrei 5773 Vol. CXLII, No. 9
Dining Around the D ....33
12, 37, 50
Jews in the Digital Age ...12
Out & About
Points Of View
Staff Box/Phone List
Shabbat And Holiday Lights
Intermediate Shabbat: Friday, Oct. 5, 6:48 p.m.
Shabbat Ends: Saturday, Oct. 6, 7:47 p.m.
Shemini Atzeret: Sunday, Oct. 7, 6:45 p.m.
Simchat Torah: Monday, Oct. 8, 7:44 p.m.
Holiday Ends: Tuesday, Oct. 2, 7:42 p.m.
Shabbat: Friday, Oct. 12, 6:36 p.m.
Shabbat Ends: Saturday, Oct 13, 7:36 p.m.
Times are according to the Yeshiva Beth
On The Cover:
Page design, Michelle Sheridan
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