Volunteers receive as well as give as seniors visit the graves of loved ones.

Robert Sklar
Contributing Editor

S

he's 100 years young, but got
up early Sunday to visit the
gravesites of her parents,
maternal grandparents and an aunt at
Congregation Beth Tefilo Cemetery in
Ferndale. This annual sojourn around the
High Holidays is made possible through
the community-wide Kever Avot (Graves
of Our Ancestors) program for Jewish
seniors in local senior complexes.
"Ma and Pa, you are still in my heart,"
Bessie Kay of Southfield said as she stood
at the upright markers overlooking the
flowers on the graves of her parents, Dora
and Abraham Katz, after negotiating the
Ferndale cemetery with her walker.
"I used to come here by myself, but I
stopped driving at 96," said Bessie, spry,
gregarious and still positive thinking. She
celebrated her 100th birthday on Feb. 2.
Kever Avot is a program directed by
Kari Provizer of Temple Israel's Robert
Sosnick Family Life Center in West
Bloomfield. Program co-chairs are Marc
Siegler of Farmington Hills and Norm
Samson of West Bloomfield. Ira Kaufman
Chapel in Southfield provides financial
support.
Assisted by 120 volunteers, 70 seniors
from 10 Metro Detroit senior residences
were bused to 12 local cemeteries on a
crisp morning. Local businesses and orga-
nizations offering support included Breath
of Spring Florist, Hiller's Markets and
Fleischman Residence-Jewish Senior Life.

Friends Forever
Dorothy and Bob Hack of West Bloomfield
have accompanied Bessie since she started
participating in Kever Avot five years ago.
Dorothy was 9 when her family moved to
San Juan Drive in northwest Detroit, next
door to Bessie's family. Bob went to Detroit
Mumford High School with Bessie's son
Calvin.
"She knows that I'm here to help her and
that makes me feel good," said Dorothy.
"She's part of my history and we've always
kept in contact:'

Talia Dolgin extends support to Anne

Radner at Beth Tefilo.

BELOVED
IFE, MOTHER
AND GRAN
DMOTHER

DOR

EC
10 971 - ACE 81
''P XZD'1

Bessie Kay reflects on her memories at her mother's Beth Tefilo grave marker.

Dorothy said she cares a lot about
Bessie, who is "a very loving person, a very
proud person. She's really pretty cool:'
Bessie was 19, just out of Detroit
Northern High School, when she married
Harry Kay, who became president of Mac-
0-Lac Paints. He died at 89 in 2000. They
had two sons, both pediatricians, who died
in their 60s. Bessie has five grandchildren
and nine great-grandchildren.

The Hacks can't help but dote on Bessie
despite knowing one of her favorite
expressions: "Everything I can do, I try to
do:' That includes trying to get on and off
the Kever Avot bus with minimal help.
Bessie said the Hacks are "wonderful to
her:'

Coming Together
First-time volunteer Talia Dolgin of

Huntington Woods accompanied first-time
event participant Anne Radner, 92, of West
Bloomfield. Anne visited the graves of sev-
eral relatives, including her mother, Dora
Rottenberg, who died at 42 in 1929.
"It's been 83 years," Anne said as she
touched her mother's headstone, tears run-
ning down her cheeks. "She never had a
chance to see her grandchildren, her great-
grandchildren:'
Anne has three children, 11 grandchil-
dren and 17 great-grandchildren.
"As nice as it was for her to visit all the
gravesites," said Talia, "it was very moving
for me to hear her stories of strength —
she lost her mom at age 10, her first hus-
band died at 27 at the Battle of the Bulge
and a brother died young:'
Talia was delighted to provide a shoul-
der for Anne to lean on and the opportu-
nity for Anne to retell her life experiences.
"The people in her life really came to
life in her stories," Talia said. "I felt I knew
them in a way:'
Talia told how Anne talked about coping
with what the world deals, living through
hard times "and, in the end, being a survi-
vor — being strong and made of iron:'
"This is a woman who has been through
a lot," said Talia, 31. "I hope to stay in
touch with her!'
Before the buses left Temple Israel, bound
for the cemeteries, Rabbi Jennifer Kaluzny
thanked the volunteers, calling their efforts
"an incredible mitzvah:" Herbert Kaufman
of Ira Kaufman Chapel said he was "very,
very proud of how our community remem-
bers their loved ones:'

❑

September 13 2012

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