business & rofessional "Happy 70th! To The Detroit Jewish News" I Don't Care About Your Golf Game! I DAD WANTS A CLEAN CAR • Car Wash • Detailing • Unlimited Washing d1FT CARD Jax Kar Wash Six locations to serve you 74 dune 14 2012 Southfield Royal Oak 28845 Telegraph Rd. Southfield, 48034 Phone: (248) 353-4700 27054 Woodward Ave. Royal Oak, 48067 Phone: (248) 547-3450 Birmingham Troy 34745 Woodward Ave. Birmingham, 48009 Phone: (248) 646-5533 2835 W. Maple Rd. Troy, 48084 Phone: (248) 280-0490 Rochester West Bloomfield 2728 S. Rochester Rd. Rochester, 48307 Phone: (248) 852-7715 6620 Orchard Lake Rd. West Bloomfield, 48322 Phone: (248) 851-9780 don't care. Trust me. I don't care, and aside from you, no one cares! Do you have a clue what I'm talking about? Anyone who knows a golfer — even if they themselves golf — utters these words in their mind when a compulsive force over- comes their friend to reveal every detail of their 18-hole journey. Why would anyone think the person they are chatting with cares about the shot hit out of the trap on No. 13? Why do we devote a substantial amount of time to talking about trivial matters? What is trivial? Well, health issues, our children and our parents are certainly not trivial. Vacations, the weather, food, traffic and, of course, gossip — these are trivial. Some things that are not trivial but that we avoid discussing with almost everybody are money issues. This is, of course, not the same as gossiping about other people who are having problems. ("Shhh, did you hear so-and-so lost their home?") There seems to be some perverse compulsion to talk about the plight of others, but banish the thought that you are at dinner with a friend and you say, "There is no way I can come up with the money to pay my kid's tuition. I don't know what to do." For one reason or another, we don't trust our friends to respect our need for privacy and resist that gossip compul- sion. Our need to maintain appearances overrides our desire to seek help and share the anxiety we sometimes face. This is true in areas other than our finances, such as personal emo- tional trauma in domestic matters and substance abuse. Can we change this? Well, we shouldn't start blurting our most personal issues out to everyone we meet and not worry if they spread like wildfire through the community, but keeping tight-lipped is not the solution. We must find the right person to confide in to help us with issues for which we lack the fortitude or ability to address. A close friend or a professional is the answer. People often forget that the professional — the doctor, the attorney or the CPA — is profession- ally bound to help you and maintain your confidence. From my perspective, I know people make too big a deal of maintaining appearances and compro- mise their financial future by refusing to address tax and financial problems that have clear-cut solutions. Just two weeks ago, the IRS announced a change in its Offer in Compromise program that, for the first time ever, truly provides great opportunity for some (not all) to obtain great tax relief. One thing is certain, the IRS is not going to call you and arrange a meeting to see if you qualify. I wonder how many people will just pass up this opportunity to improve their plight in life out of a desire to keep up appear- ances. If someone reads ,(1 f this column and it encourages him to seek a solution to whatever issue he faces, I'll be happy. For what it's worth, I don't care about your golf game, but if you have a problem, I, like most profession- als, want to know what is wrong and am committed to helping you find a solution. So, do you want to hear about my almost- hole-in-one on No. 13 at Baypointe? Ken Gross is an attorney with Thav Gross and host of the Financial Crisis Talk Center, a radio program that airs weekly at 10 a.m. Saturdays on Talk Radio 1270 WXYT AM.