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June 14, 2012 - Image 66

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2012-06-14

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

If you are not wearing it... sell it!...
or BORROW on it!

.
- DETROIT
jEwISH NEWS-

,

,-„ p

You can't enjoy jewelry if it's sitting in your safe



1 t



cx

p

The lads at the corner drugstore were
exchanging stories on their experienc-
es with the opposite sex."Aw!" sniffed
one. "Girls are a dime a dozen!
"Gee," sighed a younger lad who had
remained quiet until
now. "All this time
I've been buying
jelly beans!" (c.
1948)

84me /iv THE /960s,

MY ORAAIONOTIIER MI HER

WAICA'R/AW ACCEAIT ALWAYS
7, &WM' Rotwebv DOA/ r t/AT
1r, me& IT Amer NO GOOD

Soldiers at Ft.
Monmouth, N.J.,
had been told to
beware of the
mess sergeant,
who, with blood
in his eyes, was looking for the wag
who posted this sign in his mess hall:
"Food will win the war, but how in ...
are we going to get the enemy to eat
here?" (c. 1945)

CR4A1P441 WAS RICHT THEW
/WO SHE ST/(Z RICHT AIOW
COAICRATUL477041.9 PAM!

MoRr nolenvew Assocmres

From Michael Fahmy & Staff of OMPT Specialists

The fellow who is advised to pay as he
goes does not need to be advised to go
slow. (c. 1961)

OMPT

A sign spotted in a French antique
shop in New York: "English and French
Spoken — Cash Understood." (c.
1964)

SPECIALISTS
_

ORTHOPEDIC MANUAL PHYSICAL THERAPY

A

29255 Northwestern Hwy, Suite 300
Southfield, MI 48034
248-353-1234

www.OMPTspecialists.com

Detroit Jewish News

on its 70th Anniversary!

1746510

Mazel Tut"!

Dear Danny,
Thanks for taking us on a culinary adventure for 70 years and sharing
your thoughts from A to Z Andiamo to Zukins and back again.
You continue to create a perfect column mixed with current cuisine
and restaurant MeiTIOlieS,

Thank you
Zina Kramer
Events Marketing

68

June 14. 2012

TIST: ae

Between 14 Mile & Lincoln s air

248-6448565

3435 Livernois Rd. , Troy, MI 48083
248-743-1234

Sible 11'.

Humor Through The Ages
From Danny Raskin

Contact Larry Allan



4 c

(") t, a k,
N

1. A.0

deposit box. Sell or borrow on it for immediate cash.
We deal in jewelry, watches, diamonds and coins.

A Service to
Private Owner
Banks & Estates

33700 Woodward Ave.

• c. ci:0

.

Seen on a sign in a small town in
Pennsylvania: "You Are Leaving Upper
Merion Township. Come Again Soon,
Have A Safe Trip And God's Speed."
Five feet past this sign was one
that read: "God's Speed, 25 Miles Per
Hour!" (c. 1964)

Two visitors to Washington, D.C., were
riding down Constitution Aveue in a
taxi when they passed the National
Archives Building.
Seeing an inscription, "What Is Past
Is Prologue" written across the base
of the statue, one asked the cab driver
what it meant.
"That:' said the cabbie, "means
`Brother, you ain't seen nothing yet!"
(c. 1965)

A sign seen on a windshield in
Birmingham read: "This space
reserved for parking tickets." (c. 1966)

A sign seen in a cab read: "Please do
not discuss politics with me. My spe-
cialty is astrophysics." (c. 1966)

■ ■ ■

A sign seen in Los Angeles on a pan-
handler's placard: Last three days on
this block." (c. 1966);

A golf instructor said to a student,
"Keep your head down." The duffer
replied, "The last time you told me to
do that, I did and somebody stole my
golf cart!" (c. 1967)

A community lassie was told that in
cold weather she should put some dry
gas into her car. Being asked at the gas
station if she wanted super or regular,
she asked,"Which is the driest?" (c.
1967)

A heavy drinker was regaling his
friends with tales of his early life and
hard times. "Things were so bad," he
recalled',' that sometimes I had to
live for days on nothing but food and
water." (c. 1971)

Over heard around town: "He's so
cheap that the only time he'll pick up a
check is when it is made out to him;"
"He's so henpecked that the only time
he opens his mouth is to ask his wife
where the mop is;""He's so mean he
would send a get-well card to a hypo-
chondriac." (c. 1971)

The new tax forms have been printed
on Kleenex to keep you comfortable
while you pay through the nose. (c.
1971)

Overheard at a local eatery; "I got this
black eye fighting for a girl's honor.
She wanted to keep it." (c. 1972)

A customer was overheard saying to a
waiter, "There is a fly in my soup." The
waiter replied, "It is possible. The chef
used to be a tailor." (c. 1980)

The little girl's alibi for missing school
was not convincing, but it was original.
As she explained to the teacher, "I had
intentional flu." (c. 1981)

Danny's email is

dannyraskin@

sbcglobal.net.

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