metro >> family counseling Life Is An Experiment W Full Service Hair Replacement Center for Women 9n Aff Maur fair pracernent NM• It's personal... Let's keep it that way with private, individual service. • • • • Color Problems Fitting Problems Styling Problems In-house repair Lab WE SPECIALIZE IN "JEWISH VVIGS" To personally preview the latest innovations in hair restoration, call today and schedule a FREE consultation, with our hair loss experts. The Ultimate Image Inc. is proud to announce our partnership with the American Cancer Society in an effort to offer FREE hair replacement alternatives to chemotherapy and radiation patients. The Ultimate Image was chosen by the American Cancer Society as a drop sight for the organization's Wig Bank program. To find out more about the Wig Bank program contact the ACS or Laurie Pompelia at The Ultimate Image Inc. at 248-855-9600 or visit our website at www.theultimatehair.com 7091 Orchard Lake Rd., # 250 West Bloomfield, MI 48322 • Phone: (248) 855-9600 www.theultimatehaincom 1758780 18 May 24 • 2012 hen I was about 7, I wanted to see what would happen if I put my finger into an electrical socket. I may not have realized it then, but I was experimenting. I started with a hypothesis: The socket won't hurt me. I tested it by inserting my finger into the socket. The resulting data revealed: Yikes, that shock hurt. We all have learned what can or can't hurt us from similar experiences. Our lives offer many opportuni- ties to experiment. When we meet someone, we already have formed initial impressions based on past occurrences. We experi- ment by challenging these past impressions with new information. When we greet the person, do we smile or attempt a joke _or story? Make direct eye contact or look away? That person's response provides us with information or data that guide us in future encounters in order to make the best impression. If you are a person who is uncom- fortable in social situations, experi- menting creates options to test ways to be more effective. People who are anxious or shy find it hard to initiate a conversation or even say "hello." They need to conduct their own social experiments; carrying out such experiments can teach how to fight negative messages and doubts. They allow you to become more con- fident. Deciding to take the risk may be your first experiment. Another place where experiment- ing can be beneficial is for parents with children who will not change a specific undesired behavior. Parents, whose reflex is to reprimand, scold, deny privileges, or take away elec- tronics or cell phones, can restruc- ture their reaction patterns to find new ways to deal with a variety of situations. Consider siblings who bicker to the point of distraction. In such situations, parents tend to react to what they observe without consider- ing what may have happened before they came on the scene. As a result, parents form premature or Mac- curate conclusions without knowing the facts. To get out of this habit, the parent, as he or she enters the room, can subtly tap on his or her leg or hand. This "tap into reality" prompts the parent to challenge preconceived suspicions or hypotheses. Moreover, not reacting immediately gives par- ents a thought pause, time to inquire about what really happened — gathering data. It also helps parents identify repetitive patterns, such as one child blaming the other or never taking responsibility. The experi- mental goal is to change parents' bewildered reac- tions into a dispassionate intervention. As parents change their reaction patterns, the children learn that Mom and Dad are less likely to be manipulated or dis- tracted. Each time parents alter expectations, change occurs — in both the child and the parent — enhanc- ing parental influence and showing the children that there are always alternatives to deal- ing with problems. Like good scientists, parents need to think about the experiment's design. One problem occurs when more than one objective is imple- mented to change a behavior, such as giving a reward at the same time as imposing a punishment. While the experiment may produce posi- tive results, there is no way to know which component created what effect, because both are in play at the same time. So when developing an experiment, identify one thing you want to remedy and focus on it. The goal of experimenting is dis- covery, seeking new ways to bring about change. It requires a flexible attitude and a creative approach. Experimenting means rejecting what was done in the past in order to look at the present for new ideas. Taking opportunities to experiment can lead to rewarding conclusions. Seek new possibilities in your life; experi- ment! ❑ Dr. Daniel Rosenbaum is a clinical social worker at Counseling Associates Inc. in West Bloomfield, where he counsels chil- dren, teens and adults experiencing fam- ily or personal psychological problems. Reach him at (248) 626-1500.