>> Torah portion
Strong Silence
Parshat Shemini: Leviticus 9:1-11:47;
II Samuel 6:1-7:17.
S
ometimes in life, silence
speaks volumes. Sometimes
words cannot express what
we feel — or by speaking we could
ruin the moment.
It is with this awareness, I think,
that our sages taught the best way to
comfort a mourner is to just be there
with them, to listen to
them, to offer your physical
presence as a support and
comfort to them.
The power of words is
recognized in our Torah
from the very first por-
tion — it is through words
that God creates the world,
expressing the Divine Will
for this place to come into
being and all the forms of
life that have ever existed.
Because of the tremendous power
of words, our sages also cautioned us
to use them wisely — and sometimes
not to use them at all.
So it is in this week's Torah portion.
We find Aaron, the high priest of Israel
and brother of Moses, totally speech-
less in the face of the sudden death of
his two sons, Nadav and Abihu — on
the very day of their ordination as
kohanim, priests, in the Tabernacle.
While there are various interpreta-
tions as to what happened, why God
took their lives so suddenly as they
were making an offering, we know
that this whole scene is a very unusual
and even unnatural one. Not only does
Aaron not speak in response to Moses'
terse explanation of why God has
caused this to happen, but Aaron and
his sons are then forbidden to show
any traditional signs of mourning nor
can they be with the rest of their fami-
lies or the community.
Instead, they must stay in the
Tabernacle's inner court, continue with
the sacrifices and even eat their por-
tions. It is then that Aaron first speaks,
explaining to Moses that he and his
sons cannot eat anything because of
their dual feelings of grief and unwor-
thiness, wondering how they can atone
for the community's sins when they
feel responsible for whatever might
have gone wrong with Nadav and
Abihu.
We can only wonder what Aaron
was thinking? Was he angry with God?
Was he wondering what his sons could
have done to deserve this? Was he
questioning his own ability as a father
and as the high priest?
Aaron's response to this tragedy
reflects his true greatness. His initial
silence prevents not only the outburst
of anger and grief that would be
natural — but also totally improper
for a high priest on the day of the
Tabernacle's initiation in front of the
entire Jewish people.
As Moses also cautions,
it could have created anger,
havoc and even rebellion
against God among all
the people. Instead, the
community mourns these
unforeseen deaths vicari-
ously for Aaron, thereby
helping him to accept these
deaths and being able to
continue in his role as high
priest.
As contemporary
writer and scholar Blu Greenberg
has explained in her thoughts on
this parshah in The Torah, A Women's
Commentary, referring to her mourn-
ing experience after the sudden death
of her adult son in a bike accident,
"But I now understand that the
Halachah [Jewish law] enjoining the
comforting visitor to hold back in
silence serves a different function: to
caution against offering a rationale for
the decree of death._
"The deeper human religious
response is to be silent, to live with the
contradiction and to affirm that we
need not force meaning into tragedy.
Sometimes the deepest response of
love is to be silent:'
Furthermore, it is after this trag-
edy that Aaron develops his skills of
patience, listening, compassion and
courage to speak to others' better
sides, appealing to them to forgive
and to make peace whenever there
was strife between family, friends and
communities. He learns to live his life
powerfully, despite and because of the
great loss he suffered.
Let us emulate Aaron, who took
from this terrible personal tragedy a
new inner strength and understand-
ing. Let our words and our actions be
guided by this blessing in The Ethics
of the Fathers: "Be like the disciples
of Aaron, loving peace and pursuing
peace, loving people and bringing
them closer to the Torah:' 0
Rabbi Dorit Edut is the founder of the
Detroit Interfaith Outreach Network (DION)
and teaches at the Isaac Agree Downtown
Synagogue.
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