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Fashion Forward

SHE boutique hosts Israeli designer
to benefit Cranbrook Schools.

S baron Eisenshtadt of SHE Bloomfield hosted highly acclaimed New York-based
fashion designer Yigal Azrouel for a two-day in-store stock show to benefit
Cranbrook Schools.
Yigal, an Israeli designer whose aesthetic includes high-quality fabrics to drape ultra-
feminine modern silhouettes, made a special appearance on Tuesday, March 13, to meet
and work with customers as they selected fashions from his spring and fall 2012 collec-
tions. Jennifer Gilbert and Elyse Foltyn co-chaired the event along with an event com-
mittee of Cranbrook/Brookside parents.
"We had a great turn out from our loyal customers as well as new shoppers who were
excited to meet Yigal," said Eisenshtadt. "We were thrilled to have the opportunity to
bring such a well-known fashion designer to our area, to have Yigal meet our customers
and to reinforce our mission of giving back to the community"
Many customers found items for their spring wardrobe including colorful tops and
dresses for work or play. Additionally, customers got a preview of Yigars fall and runway
collections and placed orders for sweaters, everyday pants, sherling jackets, fur hats and
other items.
"It's always a bonus for our customers to meet the designers behind the label. We've
already received inquiries about who we are thinking of bringing in next year," said
Eisenshtadt. ❑

Designer Yigal Azrouel and SHE

owner Sharon Eisenshtadt

Margo Grossman of Franklin and

Lori Cantor of West Bloomfield

look over some of Azrouel's

designs.

Azrouel picks out a dress to

Arnie Stern of Birmingham looks

show to his cousin Ilanit Atias

at fashions with Azrouel.

of Farmington Hills.

Perfectionism
Within The Family

W

e all know perfectionists,
friends, family members
or associates who are
inclined to aspirations that are too
high, are extremely self-critical or
overly sensitive or inse-
cure, resulting in lives
filled with dissatisfaction
and self-imposed restric-
tions. Many operate on
the premise that anything
less than perfection is a
catastrophe. Because they
think failure is just around
the corner, they can eas-
ily become depressed or
anxious.
To understand perfec-
tionism, look at a corner
of a room where two
walls come together. This
juncture exemplifies how
perfectionism reduces options to a
single concept. Perfectionists avoid
considering alternatives to reduce
the potential for error or disapproval,
which stifles creativity and indepen-
dent thinking.
Now, turn away from the corner's
limitations. Notice that the widening
walls signify the choices that non-
perfectionists embrace. It is impor-
tant to understand that generating
alternatives is essential to combat the
perfectionist way of thinking.
By nature, a child will do whatever
it takes to acquire parental accep-
tance, approval or love. In a family
where perfectionism is pervasive, a
child can be overwhelmed, may make
extraordinary efforts to avoid con-
demnation, disapproval or rejection,
and may withdraw from otherwise
meaningful relationships. They feel
they can't win anyway, so they offer
minimal effort.
A parent's influence powerfully
affects whether a child does his or
her best. If parents encourage their
children to work toward attainable
goals and limit emotional uncertain-
ties, their child will have passion
to achieve. If parents are overly
demanding, they will see insufficient
effort in everything and accuse their
child of laziness.
Warning signs that a child worries
excessively about error or failure can
appear in even the earliest school
years. Comparisons made by teachers,
parents or peers rarely motivate. In
fact, they can exacerbate the child's
fear of failure and be emotionally

devastating. These youngsters inter-
nalize the message that only another
person can be relied on for correct
evaluation and they, themselves, are
incapable of determining what is
good enough.
Perfectionists may avoid
the judgments of others by
opting for isolation over
interaction. Avoiding chal-
lenges may be preferable
to the uncertainty of suc-
cess. When giving up is not
practical, some perfection-
ists choose procrastination
over engagement; delaying,
even to the 11th hour, pro-
vides a rationale for antici-
pated failure.
The doubts created by
perfectionism can lead to
all-or-nothing thinking.
Anything less than meeting 100 per-
cent of expectations is seen as failure.
Consider how a perfectionistic child
may internalize a 95 percent on a test,
a score most parents would kvell over.
When 100 percent is the measure of
comparison, he or she will ruminate
intently over those five points and
regard this score as failure. Because it
only takes a few points to trigger such
thinking, parents must avoid asking
"What about those five points?" and
redirect the focus to what has been
achieved.
To reverse this approach, challenge
this absolutist way of thinking. If a
child gets a 75 percent on a test, use
that score as the target for the next
attempt. This technique emphasizes
improvement over failure, encourages
success and is applicable in many
other areas of life.
Keep in mind that nobody is per-
fect; even though you may aspire to
be. Many years ago, the comic strip
"Hagar the Horrible" by Chris Browne
elucidated perfectionism brilliantly.
In response to the Viking's harshly
formed motto "Victory or Doom:'
Hagar retorted with a guideline cru-
cial for all perfectionists: "Maximum
success or a reasonable alternative."
This makes perfect sense. 0

Dr. Daniel Rosenbaum, PhD, LMSW, is

a clinical social workers at Counseling

Associates Inc, in West Bloomfield, where

he counsels children, teens and adults

experiencing family or personal psycho-

logical problems. Reach him at (248)

626-1500.

April 5 • 2012

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