ETCETERA
NIGHT CAP
An Alternate Universe?
The GOP primary race runs amok.
By Harry Kirsbaum
ust a few short years ago, I could
have filed this column three days
after seeing the results of Super
Tuesday on March 6, and say, without
hesitation and barring some grievous
event, that Mitt Romney would be run-
ning for president as the presumptive
Republican nominee against Barack
Obama in November.
That although Newt and Rick and Ron
tried their best, they found themselves
far behind the delegate count and by
the time this column would appear in
April, their campaign money would
have dried up and they would have
dropped out.
I could also assume that although
the campaign rhetoric would be harsh,
some lines would
never be
j
crossed.
Welcome to a new political world
where the primary season begins sev-
eral months before the first vote is cast,
and candidates with super PACs can
run amok, like Newt, without worrying
about raising money as long as one sup-
porter has a big enough checkbook.
Welcome to a world where the
Republican primary candidates call
each other simplistic, unrealistic or out
of touch, but all agree that the cur-
rent occupier of the Oval Office is just
downright evil and wants to feed the
Christians and Israelis to the lions.
That's the trouble with having too
much time on your hands before the
real action takes place. When you're de-
bating the same questions every week
for months, as time marches on and the
debates garner ratings one-tenth of a
Modern Family rerun, you tend to lead
with the crazier statements.
And while MSNBC tilts toward Demo-
crats and Fox News slants toward the
GOP, CNN resides in its own little drug-
addled world. Most college seniors
watching CNN on SuperTuesday would
have noticed the strong influence of
psilocybin mushrooms in the graphic
artwork, and I would have expected
Wolf Blitzer to come down hard on
the entire department on Wednesday,
insisting that CNN introduce hourly
drug tests and ridding the employee
break room of the vending machines
that offered rolling papers, birth con-
trol pills and glow sticks. But I digress.
In this new world, these four Re-
publican Horsemen of the Apocalypse
could still be around by convention
time, and we can only wonder what
level of rhetoric they'll be spewing by
then.
Columnist George Will wrote that
the Republican Party may consider
giving up the White House because the
candidates are too weak to beat Obama
and instead work to gain more Congres-
sional seats. He also offered a few names
to run in 2016.
In 2016??? Are you kidding? Can we
please get through this year's election
first?
I wonder what political scientists are
thinking about our system, and if they
have some sort of political/mathemati-
cal equation in which the variables of
time and money are factored. How
much is too much for each? Since
campaign finance reform won't happen
— imagine shuttering half the offices on
K Street and sending lobbyists and other
bottom-feeders scurrying —why not
put some type of limits in place?
Think Denmark's campaign season,
The four Republican candidates
which last year ended Oct. 3, 2011, and
elected a prime minister, 179 seats of
Parliament, garnered 87.7 percent voter
turnout rate, and lasted 21 days, with no
television ads allowed.
I know, Denmark has a population of
5 million living in a country the size of
Vermont, but do you really think that we
need a campaign season that's about a
year-and-a-half long?
Wouldn't we pay better attention if we
only had six months to learn about the
candidates, and wouldn't they better be
able to give us their plans and beliefs in
a more reasonable fashion?
With all that money and all that time
already spent on the 2012 presidential
campaign, what percentage of people
on the street today do you think could
name all four Republican presidential
candidates?
I'd be afraid to ask, too. ay
Axor M
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RED MEAD I April 2012 45