COMMUNITY

JEWFRO

Notes to Self

Fine Art Appraisers and Auctioneers Since 1927

By Ben Falik

Dear Ben,

By the time you read this, you will be 30
and, by most accounts, untrustworthy to
everyone your junior. After championing op-
portunities for your fellow Young Turks, you're
going to be just another Ottoman. Make way
for a generation that thinks Napster was in-
vented by Justin Timberlake, that "He-Man" is
redundant and that blue M&Ms are as old as
Mars. On your birthday, you will not turn into
a pumpkin, but you may have a strong desire
to grow an unironic
moustache.
More likely,
though, you will
just abandon all
of your values and
beliefs. So, in the
spirit of posterity
and numerology,
here are 30 things
that, as of this writ-
ing, you hold true:

1. Detroit is a city
of opportu-
nity.
2. Detroit is not a
blank canvas.
3. Public transit is not just for the elderly
and disabled.
4. Bikes and feet can also get you where
you need to go. (No Rollerblades.)
5. Traveling is a blessing.
6. Talking too much about your travels is a
curse.
7. Good grammar is heavenly.
8. People do not like it when you correct
their grammar.
9. Lifting the chair in the hora is a spiritual
and holy act.
10. The hors d'oeuvres are always better
than the entree.

VIENNESE ENAMEL & EBONY MINIATURE
CASQUE, 19TH C.

MYRON BARLOW (AMERICAN, 1873 - 1937),
OIL ON CANVAS, THE GOSSIPS

THERE'S A TIME
AND A PLACE FOR:

11. Eating with your hands.
12. Eating with no hands.
13. Running up the escalator.
14. Running up the down escalator.
15. Talking politics.
16. Shouting politics.
17. Drinking White Russians.
18. Drinking chocolate milk.
19. Hugging people you don't know that
well.
20. Going to the movies by yourself.

ALEXANDER CALDER (AMERICAN,
1898-1976), LITHOGRAPH, 1973

IEVGUENI-ALEXANDRO LANCERAY,
VENINI ITALIAN BRONZE 'COSSACK'S SWEFTHEART'
CRYSTAL OBELISK

CONTRARY TO
POPULAR BELIEF:

21. The clothes do not make the man.
22. Good fences do not make good
neighbors.
23. Charity does not start at home.
24. Youth is not wasted on the young.
25. The life of man need not be solitary,
poor, nasty, brutish or short.

STILL FUN:

26. Riding roller coasters.
27. Riding in the backseat.
28. Singing.
29. Voting.
30. Birthdays.

Look, we knew this day would come. All
the colorful Converse All Stars in the world
couldn't stop time, even if their trademark
canvas tops and rubber soles do provide
outstanding traction. Embrace your orthope-
dic shoes: A lot of people have accomplished
great things after 30 ... you just can't think
of any at the moment. Let's just hope that
the new regime, with their Tweeting and
My Spaces, has as much compassion for the
elderly as you did. Before you became one.

See you on the other side,

www.redthreadmagazine.com

PABLO PICASSO (1891-1973), CERAMIC PLATE,
'JOIE DE VIVRE-WHITE FACES'

WARREN PLATNER FOR KNOLL DINING
TABLE & CHAIRS (1)

Wiliest In your Attic###?".

We will be pleased to accept artwork and antiques for our upcoming
monthly auctions on Wednesdays and Saturcla s fro 1

4 9 9 F .„ J.

I 48226
TEL 313.963.6255 ww\x/S)t..fivi(...)A.RI,com

1:YETR.011',

RED=

January 2012 9