frontlines
SCH'S
Pies re.or Aa/piet
Jews And Their Aches And Pains
I
hear about Sally? She had her knee
'm a recovering hypochondriac. I
spent a great deal of time in my 20s and hip replaced at the same time!"
worrying about medical conditions "Oy," the respondent exclaims. "I just
more suited for middle age and beyond. hope she doesn't get the infection I
had after surgery. My stomach is still
At times I felt as neurotic as Woody
reeling from the antibiotics!"
Allen, short of wanting to date my
I truly believe we Jewish folk have
daughter. The pathetic part is that the
as much of an appetite for health as
conditions I worried about 30 years
we do for corned beef on rye (extra
ago, but never really had, are now the
lean please, I have gall blad-
conditions I do have.
der issues).
I'm not talking seri-
Our preoccupation with
ous health issues, but I
all
things medical reached
do require one of those
new
heights with the advent
Sunday through Saturday
of
the
website WebMD, your
pill boxes. Not to brush
one-stop
clearinghouse for
Judaism with a broad
impending
doom. While a
stroke (stroke, bad choice
rational
person
recognizes
of words), but I've noticed
a
hangnail,
I
visit
the web-
a correlation between
site,
click
the
symptoms
being Jewish and obsessive
Ala n
tab under foot conditions
worry about one's health. It
Musk ovitz
and, just like that, I have an
may explain why there are
Jewish News
underlying serious health
so many Jewish doctors.
Colum nist
condition. Yikes! On the plus
In analyzing this Jewish/
side, surfing the web offers
health phenomenon, I've
more
privacy
than trying to incon-
noticed that it often exhibits itself
spicuously
look
things up in medical
in public, most notably in restau-
journals
while
hiding
in between
rants. I've dined in delis from West
bookshelves
at
Barnes
& Noble.
Bloomfield to Boca and, without fail,
Is
this
preoccupation
with health
I'll overhear a patron at the next table
woven
into
the
fabric
of
our Jewish
discussing either their personal health
heritage?
I
think
so.
While
I can't
issues or those of a family member or
document
it,
I'm
willing
to
bet that
friend.
sometime
during
his
40-year
schlep
"Hi, Sid. How are you feeling?" "I'm
through
the
desert,
Moses
asked
a
fine, thank you, Bernie, but I'm still
fellow
tribesman,
"Does
this
blister
healing." Or "Say, Barbara, did you
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on my foot look bad to you? It hasn't
healed in 17 years. You know what, I
bet I've got diabetes!"
Fast forward to the future and our
first Jewish president. (Mazel Toy!)
What I wouldn't give to be at President
Rosenberg's annual check-up. "Listen Mr.
Big Shot Navy doctor, I'm shvitzing like a
chazzer every night. And don't tell me it's
anxiety! It's that mashugana generic ver-
sion of Flomax you put me on!"
Yes, I truly believe that Judaism and
worrying incessantly about health go
together like a horse and carriage, or
Neosporin and a cut. Like the very cut
on my arm that is getting redder by the
day. And seems to be changing colors.
And is more than likely infected. And
why didn't I get that tetanus shot?
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