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My Muppet Mentors
By Ben Falik
rowing up, Judaism
was the primary
religion in my house,
but there was a dose
second — in terms of
ethical precepts, cultural
heritage and daily devo-
tion: the Muppets.
Jim Henson wasn't
our messiah, but the
gospel his characters faithfully preached
about — cooperation, community and
compassion — would have earned him a seat
at our seder, no strings attached. This mixed
marriage manifested with "Ben's Friends," my
Muppet-themed bar mitzvah, replete with
hot air-balloon centerpieces plus Kermit and
me, arm in gangly arm, on the T-shirts.
It's been more than 20 years since Henson's
sudden, unexpected death; he would have
just turned 75. Watching Sesame Street with
my son lately, I've wondered what the world
would be like were the man who gave us
"Pigs in Space" still alive today?
•Gay marriage would be legal. According
to PBS, responding to a recent Facebook cam-
paign, Bert and Ernie are not gay. I contend,
however, that if Henson had lived just three
more years, he'd have been so appalled by
the passage of"Don't Ask, Don't Tell," he
would have brought Bert and Ernie out of the
closet — even if he had to put them in the
closet first. Could anything be more anath-
ema to the openness, acceptance and inclu-
sion of Sesame Street than not asking and not
telling? Starting in 1993, a whole generation
would have grown up with two men in love
being as normal as having a rubber ducky in
the tub.
•Global warming would be in remission.
Environmental stewardship was always part
of Henson's world.The Fraggles, Doozers
and Gorgs shared a delicate ecosystem even
though they rarely encountered one another.
Oscar the Grouch loved trash but never
littered. Amidst overwhelming evidence of
man-made climate change, Henson would
have further enlisted his Muppet minions and
their celebrity friends to make it easy — and
compelling — to be green. Against this back-
drop, candidate Al Gore and his ecological
platform would have seemed Sam-the-Eagle
patriotic rather than Guy-Smiley milquetoast.
Then, the Floridians who decisively elected
him — and Hensonites nationwide — would
have supported President Gore's aggres-
sive, progressive agenda to combat climate
change.
•War on Poverty # War on the Poor. In
response to 1994's Contract with America and
Grover Norquist's faustian Americans for Tax
Reform pledge, Henson would have created
"Grover No-Quits,"an irrepressible blue Mup-
pet who, clipboard and pen clutched in his
flailing arms, would ask candidates to sign a
pledge of his own. The pledge: Work hardest
for the poorest constituents, and refuse to
let poverty become a partisan issue. Thanks
to the evolution of Sesame Street, more
Americans would live in socio-economically
diverse cities instead of stratified suburbs —
and would support the real Grover in holding
politicians accountable to their neighbors
from all tax brackets.
There's no telling what Henson and his
exponential imagination would have aspired
to, and accomplished, over the past 20 years
or, for that matter, the next 20: Peace in the
Middle East? Universal healthcare? World-
wide WiFi? The good folks at Henson Studios
have admirably kept the Count counting
and Snuffleupagus from becoming invisible,
but what would Apple look like had Steve
Jobs died after the Apple Ilgs? Pixar (creator
of a string of incredible movies, including,
as it were, The Incredibles) is really Henson's
creative successor, but, short of the dystopian
Wall-E, they have not yet shown the con-
science behind the CGI.
Rather, all of us who
grew up with Kermit
and Co. — the lovers,
the dreamers and
Fozzie — are Henson's
legacy. It's up to us to
keep stargazing, to
write so many songs
about rainbows and to
find out what's on the
other side. [ . ,
G
ANDY WARHOL
SILKSCREEN IN COLORS,
#148/150, "YELLOW COW"
ANDY WARHOL (AMERICAN 1928-1987),
SCREENPRINT IN COLORS, #202/250,
1970 "FLOWERS"
MYRON BARLOW (AMERICAN 1873-1937),
OIL ON CANVAS, MERMAID
FRENCH I8KT GOLD & SAPPHIRE
RING, VAN CLEEF & ARPELS
TIFFANY FAVRILE
STALACTITE SHADE,
C. 1903
SEVRES FRENCH PORCELAIN MANTEL
CLOCK & URNS, C. 1890
KAJ FRANCK (1911-89) GREEN
GLASS VASE, C. 1960
CHINESE CARVED IVORY
EMPEROR & EMPRESS
'What's In your
out the Nitue of rir trettsures at DuMouchelle's free appraisal clinics -
Wednesdays and Saturdays from liam-Lipm, we will be
pleased to accept artwork and antiques for our upcoming monthly auctions.
409 EJEFFERSON, DETROIT. MI 48226
TEL 313.963.6255 \NAVA\ .DUMOART.( 0\1
8 October 2011 I
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