Power from page 18

became Orthodox as an adult. Lebenbom
and his wife, Marci, are members of
Shomrey Emunah in Southfield. They have
three children, Kayla 20, Tali, 18, and Jack,
13. He prays three times a day, every day.
"Prayer helps me focus on the things
that truly matter," he says. "It helps clear
my head. It allows me to dissociate and
change my focus. Prayer is part of the self-
actualization process. If you don't set a goal,
it's difficult to work toward achieving that
goal. Prayer is both public recitation mantra
in the form of Shema [daily prayer affirm-
ing belief in God] and private mantra in
the form of the Amidah [silent prayer said
three times daily]. When I find a perfect
expression of my aspirations and concerns,
I will add that to my daily tefillah [prayer]."
Lebenbom believes the power of prayer
comes from the calming meditative process
that removes a person from day-to-day
activities and leaves him with his thoughts
and reflections.
"Prayer allows us to communicate with
someone greater than ourselves',' he says. "It's
an expression of humility that helps us rec-
ognize we must all be humble in this world."
Each morning he starts his day by
attending shul. Sometimes he also prays
at a friend's office or attends services at a
shivah house. If all else fails, Lebenbom
dials up a direct line to God using modern
technology.
"If I can't make a minyan, I have a siddur
[prayer book] on my iPhone and I'll daven
[pray] wherever I am',' he says. "Before the
iPhone, I would go into a phone booth in a
public place or pretend I was making a cell
phone call so as not to stand out. Now, I just
blend in looking at my iPhone like everyone
else."

Finding Faith from page 18

Suddenly, in December 2010, a life-or-
death medical diagnosis changed every-
thing. Jennifer had a cut on her hand that
wouldn't heal. Antibiotics didn't seem to
be working, so her husband urged her to
go to the doctor. When she finally did, she
got stunning news. Although she had no
other obvious symptoms and says she felt
"perfectly fine Jennifer had leukemia.
"They took blood and ran it three
times; the numbers were just so out
of whack:' she recalls. "By 10 o'clock
that night, I was admitted to Beaumont
Hospital in Troy. Three days later, I was
on chemotherapy. My husband was the
one who broke the news to me that I had
cancer."
Barish remained in the hospital for
three long months. She underwent two
rounds of chemotherapy (the first round
was unsuccessful) and a bone marrow
transplant. She believes the power of
prayer literally helped save her life. It

Humanistic View
What about Jews who don't believe in
God? How do they view prayer? Who or
what are they praying to? Humanistic
Judaism was founded right here in
Michigan in the 1960s by the late Rabbi
Sherwin Wine. His secular, non-theistic
congregation grew into what's now the
Birmingham Temple in Farmington Hills.
Congregants there focus on Jewish
culture, history, identity and Humanistic
ethics, but exclude all prayers and refer-
ences to God. Services include songs and
passages in both Hebrew and English.
"Prayers are the way we say to our-
selves: This is what I care deeply about,
this is what my heart
longs for:' says the
Birmingham Temple's
Rabbi Tamara Kolton.
"They're the way we
focus our attention and
send a message of deep
concern to ourselves.
Rabbi Tamara
Because of this, they
Kolton
are very powerful, but
they're not supernatu-
ral."
Kolton explains the essence of why
Humanistic Jews believe what they do:
"Millions of mothers prayed in the death
camps that their children not be mur-
dered. Their prayers had no effect on the
world, on the Nazis or on God. To believe
that I personally have a power they did
not or deserve to be heard in a way that
they did not is absurd."
She says rather than talking to God or
asking for divine intervention, she per-
ceives prayer as a vehicle to spur change
within oneself.

started with some meditation CDs her
husband bought for her that were not of a
religious nature.
"They helped me kind of control my
mind and will the cancer out of me she
says. "Then, I started to get visits from the
rabbis and I would ask, 'What are some
meaningful prayers I can recite?'" One was
the Mishebeirach, the prayer for healing.
"It was a ritual every single night. I
would say it in my hospital room while
my husband and our boys said it at
home she says. "My son's classroom said
the prayer every Friday, and he knows
the words by heart. My 3-year-old knows
the words, too. It's almost like my lullaby;
it helps me fall asleep. I just feel like God
is listening."

Easing Fear
Around the time of her bone marrow
transplant, fear began to grip the young
wife and mother. She refused to allow
anyone to talk about percentages or her
chances for survival. She says the "scary

"The best way to pray is to send a mes-
sage deep into yourself, quietly and with
breath, and then get up and do some-
thing to make your prayer come true
she says.
Kolton encourages congregants to
pray with their hands and feet" —
meaning they should use their hands and
feet to take action. She prefers the word
"meditation" to "prayer" and urges people
to focus on healing and transcendence in
a variety of ways from dancing to sitting
silently to connecting with nature.
"People want, and sometimes need,
to believe they have special powers:' she
says. "But, in reality, the only superpower
we possess that's real is love. We are
ultimately limited beings. The way we
surpass our limitations is by loving each
other. Love, not prayer, is the answer!'

((

2 Grandmas, 2 Perspectives
Prayer, faith and spirituality go hand in
hand. For Joan Feldman of Farmington
Hills, energy psychology, various psycho-
logical treatments that involve directing
your thoughts and emotions, acupressure
and other therapies led her to re-examine
her beliefs about God and higher power.
The wife, mother and grandmother has
maintained a private psychotherapy
practice in Huntington Woods for the last
20 years.
"My prior beliefs were along the lines
of reciting the Shema and, yes, think-
ing that something had to create all this
wonder; but never a personal and true
connection that could bring healing in
wondrous ways:' she says. " [After being
introduced to energy psychology], I no
longer feel that way. I've seen too many

stuff" would always run through her
mind at night.
"I knew this was the only cure she
says. "I started to think, 'What if it
doesn't work?' and I started to get afraid."
Barish says she called the temple
because her entire blood system was
about to be wiped out and replaced with
new blood. She wondered if there was a
prayer they could say, something from a
baby naming or a bris.
"The next thing I knew, Rabbi Marla
Hornsten had written a four-page service
specifically for me she says. "It had the
psalm, some poems and some inspiring
words of encouragement. They led this
service in my hospital room. It was so
emotional. But, I felt so good and so ready
to move on to the transplant the following
day. All of my fears just went away."
Thankfully, the transplant succeeded.
Barish hopes to someday meet and thank
her donor. She's still on the road to recov-
ery with regular doctor visits, blood tests
and restrictions that prevent her from

"Prayer is an expression
of humility that helps
us recognize we must
all be humble in this
world."

- Stuart Lebenbom, Southfield

prayers answered not to believe."
Feldman says she lives a happy, blessed
life. Her two children and five grandchil-
dren all live in Metro Detroit. She says
she's come to understand prayer as many
different things.
"Certainly there is
the beseeching, begging
prayer, the forgiveness
prayers, the honoring
and pound-your-chest-
in-the-temple prayers:'
she says. "But my work
has taught me that
Joan Feldman it's not so much the
prayer, but where it
directs your thoughts,
intentions and energy that makes the
difference. By turning your attention and
intentions to what you want, you move
your 'vibrational level' from lack to pos-
sibility. Believing that a 'higher power' is

Power on page 20

returning to work or even lifting her chil-
dren. To this day, she wonders about the
magic in the Hebrew words and phrases
that now are a central part of her life.
"Every time I'd have a blood test and
I'd get a good report, I'd look back and
think — was it the chemo or was it the
prayer?" she says.
Barish still prays multiple times a day
and believes she always will; she also
encourages others to explore their spiri-
tuality.
"The clergy, the prayer, everything was
there for me when I needed it," she says.
"But I wish I had looked to it earlier in
life, and it didn't take a crisis to get me
there. My quality of life could have been
so much better and I didn't even know it.
I would have appreciated each day more.
It wasn't until it was almost tugged away
from me that I really started to imple-
ment these things. Someone shouldn't
have to be sick or dealing with a crisis to
really cherish every single moment and
every day"

September 29 2011

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