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April 28, 2011 - Image 67

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2011-04-28

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

arts & entertainment

Patti Stanger: "You
have the power to
attract 'Mr. Right
For You' at any
moment," writes
Stanger.

Matchmaker,
Matchmaker

Patti Stanger, of the Bravo series
The Millionaire Matchmaker, will offer her
advice at CSZ Sisterhood's Woman's World.

Suzanne Chessler
Contributing Writer

p

atti Stanger, star and execu-
tive producer of Bravo's The
Millionaire Matchmaker, has
dated a man from Bloomfield Hills. It
didn't work out, but she hasn't given up on
Midwest men.
Stanger, who also has gone with singles
from Chicago and Minneapolis, thinks of
Middle America's beaus as the best mar-
riage prospects. Her experiences have
shown them to have down-home natures,
loyalty and manners.
The nearly-50-year-old matchmaker,
scouting a match for herself after ending
a recent engagement, won't give the name
of the Michigan man who courted her for
a time — with Greektown destinations
— but she's ready to discuss just about
anything else of interest to her audience at
Lois Linden Nelson Woman's World.
The annual event runs 9 a.m.-4 p.m.
Wednesday, May 4, at Congregation
Shaarey Zedek in Southfield, where
Stanger will sign copies of her book,
Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy
Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate.
Doreen Hermelin will receive the
Woman of Valor Award, and there will be
boutique sales throughout the day.
"I will talk about what the guests want
to talk about as well as how to get out
there for those with friends and family
who are single says Stanger, a third-gen-
eration matchmaker and president of the
Millionaire's Club matchmaking service.
"I can talk about how going online has
changed dating or how to get on a reality
show!"

Although Stanger is not necessarily
looking for a Jewish man for herself, she
is sure that matchmaking can be different
for Jewish couples.
"It's like born-again Christians," she
says. "Their pressure for getting married is
far greater than it is for anyone else. They
feel useless if they're not married, and we
need to start changing that.
"I'm sick and tired of the beshert theory.
It's a myth. There are not enough men for
women.
"It's important for women to get into the
workforce. They can't expect that someone
will come and rescue them. If women get
busy with their own lives, men will show
up.
Stanger, who believes she has a psy-
chic ability for matchmaking, learned a
lot of her skills from her grandmother
and mother. She studied singlehood for
30 years while building a career finding
mates for the moneyed.
"My grandmother and mother did
matchmaking for the rabbis:' she explains.
"They didn't have a price. People paid
them back in other ways.
"My grandmother felt if people prayed,
they would draw other people to them. My
mother said that nothing good happens
after II p.m.; women should come home
and leave the men wanting more.
"I still agree with both of them.
Nothing's changed. Have faith and be a
mystery!"
After working in fashion and at Great
Expectations dating service before start-
ing her own agency, Stanger developed
pragmatic approaches discussed in her
book. They begin with going through a
dating detox period after one relationship

ends and before another can begin.
Stanger is there now.
"I don't date in Mercury retrograde
[when things can go wrong] because I'm
an astrologer by trade she says. "I prob-
ably will start dating at the end of April.
"It's hard for me to meet a man because
I can't go to a restaurant anonymously,
having a drink and reading a book.
Men are going to come up and say, `Patti
Stanger, the millionaire matchmaker, so
it's really rough for me.
"I have an online service, and I'm plan-
ning to put a profile on that at the end of
the month. We're actually doing a mixer on
the show for me, and friends and family
fix me up. I tell people I'm looking. That's
how I met the last guy so it works."
Stanger's book also covers appearance,
planning, date assessments, dating itself,
infatuation, reality checks and proposals.
"Being happy is really the key:' she says.
"If a woman can't tell me one thing that
makes her happy without a man, then
she has problems. I know five things that
make me happy, like cooking. I can make
a home-cooked meal for friends and be in
bliss.

Patti's Pointers

n her book Become Your Own
Matchmaker, Patti Stanger, who
also recently released a DVD titled
Married in a Year, offers women look-
ing for a mate this advice: "Those who
travel in packs do not attract." She
offers tips about going out alone and
gives up a list of "manly-man places"
to test her tactics:

I

Where Your Future Husband
Will Find You:

•Sports bars
•Professional sporting events
•Steak houses
•Driving ranges
•Tennis clubs
• Movie theaters
•Classes
•Salsa and country dance clubs
•Prepared food aisle at the
supermarket
•Sushi bar
•Auto and boat shows
• Industry events

"If a woman follows those other pas-
sions once or twice a week, men will show
up. Sitting at home, going to the bars and
complaining about men Sex in the City-
style isn't going to bring a man because a
happy woman attracts a happy man."
Stanger's most common questions from
women have to do with where they can
find men. Her most common questions
from men have to do with why women
don't like them.
Men are everywhere, she advises
women. Treat women better, she tells men.
Stanger plans to tell men a lot more as
she works on a book addressed to them.
She also wants to do a book on teen court-
ship.
"The most satisfying match I ever made
was a Florida couple in their 80s',' she says.
"Love can happen at any age." II

Lois Linden Nelson Woman's World
runs 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Wednesday, May
4, at Congregation Shaarey Zedek in
Southfield. $54 lunch, no admission
to boutiques. (248) 357-5544, ext.
48; sisterhood@shaareyzedek.org .

•Cigar bars
•Upscale car dealerships
•Wine tastings
•Political support groups
•Marathons
•Outdoor sporting events
•Special interest groups
•Ski resorts
•Dog parks
• Hobby and fan conventions
•Food, wine and music festivals
• Electronics stores
•Bowling alleys
•Singles vacations
•Vegas
•Charity events

Where The Boys Aren't:

•Spiritual classes and workshops
•Gyms and/or fitness centers
•Hot bars and clubs
•Cruise ships
•Local coffeehouse
•Salons
•Brunch buffets
•Frozen yogurt shops
•Laundromats

041

April 28 • 2011

39

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