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OH, SISYPHUS!
How Cool Are You?
When being "liked" comes at the
expense of sound parenting.
By Rebecca Zusel
ours is the house all the kids want to
t hang out at after school. Your kids get
L the same things their friends have be-
cause you don't want them to feel "left out"
(you want your kids to be cool). You're also
not sure how you got stuck on this train!
This high-speed Express to Aggravation
doesn't take you (or your kids) to some-
where good; at best, you'll stop at the
Poorhouse Station. Ultimately, it doesn't
matter how you got on, you just know it's
time to exit.
Perhaps this isn't the first time you've
thought about changing things up, but
you're not sure how to get started.
The first step is: Ask yourself if you're try-
ing too hard to be your child's friend versus
focusing on being their parent.
Don't be confused. You can hang out and
have a good time with your kids; and, hope-
fully, they have at least one or two friends to
fill in the gaps. Your role as a parent is more
serious. It's a job, whether you do it full time
or part time.
Here's one good suggestion on exiting
the train: When your instinct says, "I should
be saying 'no'to this," don't ignore it. Hello
to some parents of high school seniors who
recently welcomed their children home
from a much-needed R&R during spring
break — yeah, right.
Let's be real. Those dancing, booze-cruis-
ing, doing who-knows-what till ungodly
hours of the morning returnees will next be
the teens asking if they can have a "prom
party"at your house.
i
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You, being the "cool" parent, know it's a
bad idea but want to appease them (um
... mostly age 18, certainly not 21) and say
"yes."This is called justifying. It's not OK to
be your kid's friend and be cool here.
Even under the best circumstances, some-
thing always goes wrong. Too much drink-
ing, bad behavior — you name it. And, don't
say it's not your kid because sometimes it is.
Come on, parents.They are going to have
numerous opportunities to behave this
way in the future. Let kids be kids — silly,
loud, goofy and fun. Just know the limits.
You can't control what other parents do,
but you can control how your children are
raised — and what behavior is expected in
your home.
Parenting is a tough gig, but every parent
signed up for this. You have time to be a
friend to your children when they're adults.
And, guess what: When they're adults,
they'll respect you more for being parents
to them when they were growing up.
Yep, being a parent is sometimes more
an end-loaded reward. While they're young,
they resent you for not being cool enough;
when they're older, they sing your praises
for raising them to be successful, productive
members of society.
Be the role model you want your children
to respect; lead by example.
How cool is that?! [7:7
REBECCA ZUSEL, LMSW, is a licensed clinical social
worker. She and her husband, Matt, live in West Bloomfield
with their three kids, ages 7,4 and 2.
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She said every $1 dollar the state spends on incentives generates $6 in economic activ-
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According to a recent analysis by the Detroit News, since the film incentives debuted
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qualified spending.
Currently, 43 projects, including movies, television shows, video games and music
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Producers of the projects stated they would spend $324 million in the state and hire
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14 May 2011 I
RED THREAD
through U-M Hillel.
After graduation, she headed to New
York, where she worked on the production
end of The Producers before returning to
Michigan, where she worked for Fenby Stein
Entertainment, helping book wedding and
event entertainment. For the last few years,
she's focused on being a mom.
"With two little girls and their friends
playing princess all the time, I have mar-
Mikki Frank, Cinderella made princess.
veled at how the world of make-believe can
transport them to such an amazing place," says Frank, who lives in West Bloomfield. As for
her little guy, she says he"loves a good lullaby."
Fortunately, she says, business is brisk enough that she has recruited six actors and sing-
ers to create more availability, careful to vet others offering the same high-quality experi-
ence that she prides her business on.
"While more business is nice, the real payoff is the feedback we get from families," says
Frank. "When we sing to a little girl, you have no idea the magic that shows on her face; it's
the best part of the job."One might say it's a dream come true.
Parties range from 30 minutes to 2 hours; $155-$355. Contact the Singing Princess at
(248) 429-9521; thesingingprincess.com .
www.redthreadmagazine.com