celebrate
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a guide to simcilahs
Encore, Encore from page C30
"The first time, it was all
about the wedding; it just all
had to be perfect," said Ford.
"This time, it's all about the
marriage. The wedding is great,
but it's not the focus. I don't
care as much about how we
get there; I just want to get
there."
The ceremony, which will
be performed by Rabbi Elliot
Pachter, will take place on a
Thursday night, with an open-
house reception at Ford's home
in Berkley during the weekend.
Ford is keeping her wedding
dress a secret, saying only that
"it is very different from my first
wedding gown." Sugarman will
wear a traditional tuxedo.
Nadica. Ristovojevich, owner
Steve Tapper, standing, helped Louis Sugerman make
of Maria's Bridal Couture in
the ring purchase spaecial for Kimberly Ford.
West Bloomfield, says that con-
ventional white and ivory wed-
ding gowns are still popular with encore brides as well as first-timers.
"Sometimes it's the groom's first marriage, and he wants to see his bride dressed
like a traditional bride," she said, "or maybe she was married before but didn't have a
big wedding the first time around."
The store also carries a special line of encore wedding dresses in shades of pink
and peach by designer Claire Pettibone. Another favorite is a silk halter style by Vera
Wang.
"It's ivory, very elegant, like an evening gown," said Ristovojevich. "The main differ-
ence is that this time they [encore brides] are picking what they want, not what their
moms want."
Encore marriages can be challenging, especially when there are children from previ-
ous marriages, ex-spouses and complicated custody arrangements. Relationship thera-
pist and radio and television love adviser Dr.Terri Orbuch, author of 5 Simple Steps to
Take Your Marriage from Good to Great (Random House), offers some tips for couples
who are planning to remarry:
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>Find the right blend. Be sensitive to the children's needs when figuring
out how to blend your families. Depending on age, consider ways to involve them in
the wedding. Finances may also be more complicated in a remarriage. Discuss how to
handle your individual and joint assets, including how the wedding will be paid for.
>
Shed excess baggage. Orbuch advises couples to live in the present
-
and focus on the new relationship rather than getting stuck in old behavior patterns.
Come to terms with lingering anger or resentment so you can move on. Forgive your ex-
spouse and yourself for whatever happened in the past.
>Get real; stay positive, Orbuch discovered through extensive research
that frustration is the main reason that relationships fail. She recommends having
realistic expectations about marriage, blended families, love and each other.
She endorses focusing on strengths rather than on negatives. Because conflict is
unavoidable, it's best to find healthy ways to deal with problems as they arise.
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>Keep it special. Known as the "The Love Doctor," Orbuch suggests finding
ways to make each other feel appreciated, such as turning on the coffee pot or send-
ing a greeting card. Doing something new together, such as joining a gym, can stave
off boredom. Finally, she recommends spending at least 10 minutes every day talking
with your partner about something other than work, family, household chores or your
relationship.
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celebrate! I
March 2011