Arts & Entertainment

THE BEST OF EVERYTHING

A 'Tip' For The Wait Staff

Make dining more pleasant and relaxing, says our "Mystery Memories Junkie."

he Mystery Memories Junkie
"Restaurateurs may think
writes ...
it's a great marketing idea to
"Pardon me while I deviate a
offer a menu with 57 varieties
bit before doing my usual thing. After all,
of meals. But if they can't put
isn't New Year's Eve also about making
these choices in a condensed
resolutions? So how about some by restau- version, managers should
rant owners, managers and employees?
instruct employees serving
"Dining out would be much more pleas-
meals to give diners more than
ant and relaxing if waitresses and waiters
two minutes to make up their
would stop asking customers if they are
minds. Unless a customer has
ready to order their meal after asking for
taken a course in speed-read-
at least 10 minutes to enjoy their cocktails.
ing, it takes several minutes to
On a recent visit to a new restaurant, we
peruse a 10-page bill of fare
estimate that our over-zealous server asked
and decide what to order.
at least six times if we were ready to order
"Another pledge we wish managers
when we specifically said we wanted 10
would make is to caution waiters and
minutes of quiet conversation over our dry
waitresse s against rapidly rattling off the
martinis. It's tough enough
list of specials of the day.
having to be on schedule
Many run that list by you so
at work, so unwinding is
fast you forget the first item
important.
before you hear the last. It is
"We wish waitpersons
easier to simply order from
would make a pact not to
the regular menu.
introduce themselves to
"It would be nice if restau-
their patrons in certain situ-
rant personnel resolved not
ations. It can be confusing.
to pull a disappearing act
Like this, a group of office
before and after the first cup
workers dropped into a
of coffee is served. In some
Birmingham restaurant for
busy dining spots, obliging
drinks. 'I'm Jean and I'll be
busboys bring hot coffee
serving you until my sister-
Here's your check ...
to the table. But they often
in-law Jane takes over said
forget the cream. By the time
What's your hurry?
the friendly waitress. After one
coffee drinkers who didn't
round, Jane came over to the
like it black attract some-
table and explained that she was replacing
one's attention, the brew is tepid. And get-
Jean, who is her husband's brother's wife
ting a second cup is a real challenge.
and both were married before. While our
"The restaurant business is tough.
party of four was trying to figure out that
Anyone thinking of opening an eating spot
one, another two joined the group and
without knowing what he or she is doing
didn't know Jean from Jane. The big ques-
should resolve not to rush into it expecting
tion was, `Which sister-in-law gets the tip?' to strike it rich.

"In a small restaurant, the
owner/manager is the business
and success or failure depends
on him or her. No matter how
much specialized help is hired,
and in the end, he or she must
make decisions and set policies.
Management requires many
skills. That's why people with
long experience as restaurant
employees sometimes fail when
they try to operate their own.
"Speaking of decisions and
policies, it would be a good
idea for all owner/managers to put their
heads together with architects and come
up with noise-reducing ceilings. When
acoustics are bad, the best food can't be
appreciated in the clamor.
"Every potential restaurateur should
resolve to read Dun & Bradstreet.
According to D&B studies, most business
failures come within two years and are
caused by shortcomings and weaknesses
in management.
"It should be obvious to folks in the res-
taurant business that they can't sacrifice
quality for the sake of price and keep cus-
tomers. But they also have to avoid pricing
themselves out of the market.
"Restaurateurs should vow to keep their
eating spots neat and clean for health
purposes and to attract customers. Dirty
restrooms are repulsive. The same goes for
unclean dishes, silverware, tables, floors
and employees.
"Business managers must know how to
manage people and motivate them to do
right by the customers. That's where the
human relations aspect comes in and that
is important.

"On the subject of customers, it would
be more fair if they gave a new restaurant
time to settle in and get the kinks out of
the operation. Poor service and cold food
could create a bad image but they may be
temporary. It might be a lot better the sec-
ond time around.
"Now that I've said my piece, remem-
brances are of the Laugh-In restaurant
that in 1970 opened in Troy, adapted
from the TV fun program on which Dan
Rowan and Dick Martin had kept America
laughing for more than a year. Diners ate
at tables with a special graffiti design of
clean, wholesome sayings like those that
people scrawled on walls.
"The menu featured the Bippyburger, a
deluxe version of the ever-popular ham-
burger. The Fickle Finger, was a specially
prepared variation of the hot dog. There
was the Big Chicken Joke, and fish and
chips was called Frix and Frax.
"Happy Hour at the Lion's Den in
Southfield's Raleigh House drew the office
crowd to unwind from 5-7:30 with such
crowds that it sometimes was very diffi-
cult to get in. The Lion's Den was original-
ly called the House of Lords with luxury
dining and double-digit prices that forced
a closing for revamping. It reopened as the
Lion's Head with shaved down fares and
a make-it-yourself salad bar. But weekday
customers still stayed away in droves and
it became the Lion's Den, a favorite spot
for singles who in the mid-70s seemed
less aggressive and most of the attendees
went home alone:'
"Enjoy a healthy and happy New Year." ❑

Danny's e-mail address is

dannyraskin@sbcglobal.net.

ANDIAMO NOVI THEATRE

JANUARY 5-23

"A 90-MINUTE LAUGH-FEST!"

Hadassah Magazine

"PERFECT COMIC TIMING."

New York Post

42705 Grand River Ave.
Novi, MI 48375 I 248.348.4448

H EAT R I

36 December 30 • 2010

andiamonovitheatre.com