spirituality
TORAH PORTION
Brutal Honesty Can Be
Less Painful Than Deceit
Parshat Vayechi: Genesis 47:28-50:26;
1 Kings 2:1-12.
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS
FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED SINCE 1971
HARDWOOD
REFINISHING
LAMINATE
MARBLE/GRANITE
VINYL
3021 ORCHARD LAKE ROAD
KEEGO HARBOR, MICHIGAN 48320
248.681.6460
WWVV.HARBORFLOORS.COM
HOURS: M-F 8 AM - 6 PM, SAT. 9 AM - 5 PM
OR CALL TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT
38
December 16 • 2010
CARPET
CERAMIC
CORK
AREA RUGS
COMMERCIAL
RESIDENTIAL
ow often have we been asked
an uncomfortable question
and prefaced our response
with: "Well, I'll be honest with you
..." or "Do you really want
me to tell you the truth?"
It seems silly, but in
some ways, we have
trained ourselves as a
society to be dishonest, to
avoid the truth at all costs
and to purposely lie or
mislead in order to avoid a
confrontation.
As I was skimming
the advice columns not
long ago, I came across
the following entry about
a woman who ran into
an old flame over the holidays. She
explains: "I gave him my phone num-
ber because it would have seemed
rude not to. Now
he's been calling
constantly and ask-
ing if he can come to
visit me. How can I
let him down easily?
I don't want to hurt
him."
Why is it so hard
to just be honest?
In this week's
Torah portion
Vayechi, the Book of
Genesis concludes
with Jacob on his
deathbed. In these
waning moments of his life, the
patriarch Jacob feels a pressing need
to settle his affairs. Jacob calls his 12
sons together to give them instruc-
tions on how to conduct their lives
after he is gone.
As they gather, one can only imag-
ine what an important moment this
is and how much it will mean to each
son to receive some final words of
wisdom and blessing from his dying
father. But what they hear is shock-
ing! Jacob tells his son Reuben that
he is "unstable as water." Shimon and
Levi are branded as "lawless"; and
Zebulun is rebuked for being driven
by greed.
One by one, Jacob speaks to each
son and is painfully honest and some
might say brutal about each of their
misgivings. The lesson we learn from
Jacob here is that, although he loves
his sons and wants to bless each one
before he dies, nothing is
more important to Jacob
than telling his sons the
sincere and authentic truth.
Jacob is not trying to
hurt them. It is the oppo-
site: He wants to help them
become better people after
he is no longer around. He
seeks to guide them so that
they can have a positive
impact on the future lives
of their own children.
As Jacob reminds us
this week, it is often in
the home where we first learn to lie.
Well-meaning parents inadvertently
teach their children explicitly to lie
in order to protect
the feelings of oth-
ers calling them
half-truths, untruths,
exaggerations, fibs or
little white lies. But
no matter what you
call them, they can
be dangerous when
children are involved.
As such, to honor
the legacy of Jacob
as we conclude the
first book of the
Torah this week, we
all must work harder
in committing ourselves to truthful-
ness, to sensitively telling it like it is,
never to hurt, but in a way that puts
honesty at the top of our personal
agendas.
And in so doing, may we bring
increased holiness into the world. ❑
Nothing is more
important to
Jacob than
telling his sons
the sincere and
authentic truth.
Joseph H. Krakoff is a rabbi at
Congregation Shaarey Zedek in Southfield.
Conversations
Do you ask questions that put
people in positions to lie to you?
How does it feel when you know
you are being lied to? What was
your favorite story in the Book
of Genesis?