I Business & Professional

CAREER COACH

Words Are Like Stones

ecently, while in the wait-
others for missing deadlines that
ing room of a physician's
she missed.
office, I heard the office
I cannot tell you how to make
manager lash out at an employee
someone stop bullying on the job,
over a project. The employee
but I can reiterate how important
picked up his belongings and left.
it is to stay centered to live more
This is as good a time as any
positively. Ultimately, this attitude
to remind all of you about the
will make you happier in life and
importance of controlling your
then help you develop a strategy
frustrations and temper. In my
toward that goal.
career as a CFO and now as a
It may also be enough to dif-
Rob ert S.
business coach, I have learned
fuse the temper of any client like
S her
that people need little reminders
the one above. We will all get
Colu mnist
every now and then so they know
more if we choose honey over
what type of behavior is proper in
vinegar.
any situation.
When put into an uncomfort-
I've heard a lot of disturbing stories lately
able situation, go to your inner strength and
about bosses and colleagues behaving badly
remember to treat people with civility. Treat
and I've had far too many inquiries about
them with respect within and outside the
how to deal with it One client asked me if
organization. Treat them in the same manner
there was a rulebook for "diffusing a bomb','
you wish to be treated.
a client contact with a terrible temper. She
When something triggers a negative emo-
started meetings with threats and blamed
tion, you can hold back your frustrations by

following these few steps:
Put your comments on a seven-second
time delay in a similar way that radio and
TV stations air news and interviews. They
delay them for a few seconds in case they
need to edit them. This helps you from say-
ing what immediately comes to mind.
Write your thoughts in a letter, stick it in
a desk drawer and read it the next day as if
you are the person receiving this letter. How
would this make you feel? That is how the
recipient will feel.
Focus on the positive. Start every day with
a simple "good morning' to everyone you
pass on your way to your office or cubicle.
Don't whine. Don't complain. The keys to
being positive are survival, focus and persis-
tence.
Show appreciation to your employees and
customers; have one-to-one meetings.
Praise employees in public; criticize in
private.
Don't spend a lot of time blaming others.

Don't blame an attorney who files a lawsuit
you authorized against a vendor when you
do not understand the risks. Don't blame
your accountant for an omission on your tax
form when you file your tax returns without
reviewing them. Don't complain about the
banker who arranged your line of credit
when you didn't read the covenants. And
please: Don't grumble about your employees
not treating customers well.
Remember that, ultimately, you are
responsible for your own actions.You do not
have the right to point fingers at those who
have let you down or expect others to come
forward and fix your problems.
"Please" and "thank you" are three of the
most wonderful words in the English lan-
guage.
And just remember, words are like stones
— once you throw them out, you can never
take them back. ❑

Robert Sher, CPA, is a certified executive coach.
He is former CFO for Schostak Brothers &
Company, Livonia. His e-mail address is: info@
bobshercom.

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December 9 2010