I
World
Sensitiv i ty
Conservative movement tipping toward openness to children of intermarried.
Sue Fishkoff
Jewish Telegraphic Agency
San Francisco
W
hat should a Jewish teacher
say to a child who talks about
helping grandma decorate the
Christmas tree?
"What the teacher should not say is,
`You're not supposed to do that — you're
Jewish:" says Rachel Glaser, education
director of the religious school at Beth
Israel Congregation, a Conservative syna-
gogue in Owings Mills, Md.
"That hurts the child and shuts a door."
That was among the lessons Glaser
and 70 other Conservative educators
in the Baltimore area learned during a
keruv, or outreach workshop, focused on
sensitizing Conservative educators to the
needs of children who have non-Jewish
family members — a population that is
growing in Conservative preschools and
religious schools as intermarried couples
fill more of the pews in the movement's
synagogues.
It was the first such seminar for reli-
gious school teachers organized by the
Conservative movement's Federation of
Jewish Men's Clubs.
Staying Ahead
The movement has been divided on the
issue in recent years, with the Men's Clubs
the voice of openness toward intermar-
ried families and the United Synagogue
of Conservative Judaism coming out more
forcefully for conversion.
At its 2005 biennial conference, the
Conservative movement's leadership
asked its congregations, schools and
summer camps to be more welcoming
to the children of non-Jewish parents
even as it urged rabbis and lay leaders to
"encourage conversion" of the non-Jewish
spouse.
Five years later, the balance seems to
be tipping in favor of openness.
Movement insiders chalk that up to
the efforts of the Men's Clubs' Keruv
Initiative, which has run workshops on
outreach for rabbis and lay leaders for
several years and is now branching out to
religious school teachers.
In January, a second teachers' work-
shop will be held in San Francisco; four
or five are planned for the coming aca-
demic year.
Keruv is Hebrew for "bringing closer."
"I've evolved a lot:' said Rabbi Carl
Wolkin of Congregation Beth Shalom in
Northbrook, Ill., who attended one of the
early rabbinical keruv think tanks.
Over the past three years, his congrega-
tion has developed an active outreach
committee, and it now offers worship
services and other programs for inter-
married couples.
Wolkin now makes sure that both
parents, Jewish or not, come up to the
pulpit at b'nai mitzvah and baby-naming
ceremonies.
Maintaining Standards
It's not about compromising standards,
Wolkin says.
Like other Conservative rabbis, Wolkin
will not officiate at an interfaith wed-
ding, but he wants the couple to know
they are wanted in the congregation as
they explore their Jewish future. That
message has been blurred too often in
the Conservative world, which hurts the
movement, he says.
"We've lost a lot of the kids of people
who grew up in this congregation
because we haven't let them know in an
effective way that we want them back:'
Wolkin told JTA.
The teachers' workshop in Baltimore
came about because of interest from area
Conservative schools, said Lynne Wolfe,
a longtime intermarriage outreach pro-
fessional who ran the program with two
local lay consultants.
"These teachers already have chil-
dren from interfaith families in their
classrooms:' said Wolfe, a mentor and
communication facilitator for the Men's
Clubs. "This was the first opportunity
they had to talk about it."
Welcoming Approach
Rabbi Paul Schneider, headmaster of the
Krieger Schechter Day School of Chizuk
Amuno Congregation in Pikesville, Md.,
took 30 teachers to the workshop. He says
they "came away with a new appreciation"
of how to make children from intermar-
ried homes feel welcome.
"There was a time not long ago when
I'd tell teachers to steer the conversation
in a different direction if a child wanted
Rabbi Wolkin will not officiate
at an interfaith wedding, but he
wants the couple to know they
are wanted in the congregation.
to talk about Christmas at their grand-
parents:' Schneider said.
"Now I see we need a different
approach. We need to allow children to
talk about their family experiences."
Things have gotten remarkably bet-
ter the past few years, said Rabbi
Charles Simon, executive director of the
Federation of Jewish Men's Clubs and the
primary force behind the keruv work-
shops.
Simon has been working closely with
the Conservative movement's Rabbinical
Assembly in the past year. The two
groups produced an outreach Web-based
seminar in August calling for greater
support for non-Jewish spouses, and they
are planning more webinars.
than 10, even five years ago."
Policies can be changed with the stroke
of a pen; attitudes take longer. The tradi-
tional ways of dealing with intermarriage
are changing, but not everywhere and not
at the same pace.
Eased Guidelines
Elaine Cohen, executive of the Solomon
Schechter Day School Association, the
umbrella body for 61 Conservative day
schools in North America, says that a
general relaxing of guidelines has taken
place over the past three or four years.
The previous guidelines had stipulated
that the child of a non-Jewish mother was
expected to convert within a year of enter-
ing the school.
"There's been a recognition that it
takes longer than that:' she said.
New Principles
Conservative leaders draw a distinc-
The Rabbinical Assembly this year recon-
tion between policies regarding the
stituted its keruv committee, which had
children of non-Jewish mothers who
become inactive.
are not considered Jewish according to
Two years ago, a movement-wide keruv
Halachah, or Jewish law, and the need to
subcommittee was created representing
make such children feel welcome once
the four major Conservative organiza-
they are enrolled in Conservative schools
tions. It produced "principles of outreach"
or camps.
that, among other things, declare that
These children must convert before bar
Conservative institutions "welcome inter-
or bat mitzvah; and a growing number of
faith couples" whose "devotion to each
other enriches us" — language not usually Conservative schools are allowing them
to wait that long.
associated with Conservative Judaism.
Some, however, hew to the old, stricter
These changes are subtle but notice-
standards, particularly on the East Coast
able, movement leaders say, and they've
and in major urban centers "where
come in the past few years.
Conservative synagogues tend to be more
"Three years ago, the Federation of
traditional;' Cohen said.
Jewish Men's Clubs was the only one
That's also where parents have more
dealing with this issue. Now all four
than one day school from which to
[movement bodies] do:' said Rabbi
choose, she said.
Robert Slosberg of Congregation Adath
"Those in smaller communities, or
Jeshurun in Louisville, Ky., who chairs
in regions where intermarriage is more
the new subcommittee.
"Keruv is on everyone's agenda and my prevalent, have taken a more lenient
colleagues are taking it seriously, more so approach:' Cohen said.
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December 2 2010
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