T:Sp rituality TORAH PORTIONN Changing The Way We View Gentiles Parshat Vayishlach: Genesis 32:4- 36:43; Obadiah 1:1-21. W COME IN NOW AND ADD NEW LIFE TO YOUR HARDWOOD FLOORS. DUSTLESS SAND AND REFINISH OR SCREEN AND COAT. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL iVNERS FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED SINCE 1971 HARDWOOD REFINISHING LAMINATE MARBLE/GRANITE VINYL 3021 ORCHARD LAKE ROAD KEEGO HARBOR, MICHIGAN 48320 248.681.6460 WWW.HARBORFLOORS.COM HOURS: M-F 8 AM - 6 PM, SAT. 9 AM - 5 PM OR CALL TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT 56 November 18 • 2010 CARPET CERAMIC CORK AREA RUGS COMMERCIAL RESIDENTIAL hen I was in high school, I had a Jewish friend whose mother forbade him from inviting a non-Jewish boy over to their house. "He's just not your cup of tee she explained, but we all knew that it was because he wasn't Jewish like the rest of us. I think of that situation often on Saturday nights as I pronounce the final Havdalah blessing, giving thanks to God for separat- ing the People of Israel from the rest of the nations. Some liberal Jews, uneasy with that statement, have erased it from the blessing altogether. Is the official Jewish ide- ology regarding our relationship with non-Jews at odds with our social and ethical beliefs? Do we maintain one viewpoint regarding non-Jews in our liturgy, laws and lore, but actually fol- low another viewpoint in reality? This week's Torah portion, Vayishlach, begins with Jacob's prepa- rations for his impending reunion with his estranged brother Esau. Jacob is frightened to learn that his brother is advancing with 400 men and pre- pares accordingly. Commentators are divided about Esau's intentions when the two brothers reconnect and Esau falls on Jacob's neck and kisses him. The Hebrew word vayishakehu ("he kissed him") has six dots over it indi- cating something unusual. Some commentators are unwill- ing to credit Esau with giving Jacob a loving kiss and instead look to the midrash that says he tried to bite Jacob to death. Others are motivated by the midrash in Avot d'Rabbi Natan stating that "everything Esau ever did was motivated by hatred, except for this one occasion which was moti- vated by love which is sort of a back- handed compliment. For us, we can look at the reunion of these two brothers as an allegory for the relationship between Jews and non-Jews with Jacob serving as the archetypal Jew and Esau as the "other." The way we interact with non-Jews on a daily basis is much different than the way our Jewish tradition understands that interaction. From the Torah's first introduction of these quarreling broth- ers in the womb, we are told that Esau is the rough-and-tough hunter while Jacob is the calm shepherd. This divide has been promoted throughout Jewish history, but nowhere as much as in the rabbinic amendments to the kosher laws. The original intent of the Jewish dietary laws according to the sages of the Talmud was to main- tain a separation from our non-Jewish neighbors to prohibit Jewish sons from marrying their daughters. Jews were instructed to keep specific foods, like wine, milk and bread, from ever being touched by "gentile hands" Because of intermarriage, some of the most dedicated leaders in our synagogues and community organiza- tions are Jews by choice. The divide between Jew and gentile has abated. Some Jews will see this as problem- atic, while others will embrace the changing outlook. Let us all remember that regardless of how Jacob and Esau were repre- sented by the rabbinic sages of yes- teryear, these two men were brothers who shared a womb. Perhaps Jacob's nighttime wrestling match prior to his meeting with Esau was a struggle with himself in search of how he should relate to his brother. Maybe we should all do a little soul searching, too. El Rabbi Jason Miller is the founder and director of the Kosher Michigan cer- tification agency. He is also the rabbi of Tamarack Camps and Congregation T'chiyah in Oak Park. Conversations Do your interactions and relationships with non-Jews differ from those of your parents or grandparents?