Spirituality TORAH PORTION DAVID B. HERNIELIN EAT TECHNICALLY SPEAKING (DPNC RESOURCE CENTER Protecting Your Family, Your Identity and Your Integrity Online Thursday, November 18, 2010 7-9 p.m. Handelman Hall at the D. Dan and Betty Kahn Jewish Community Center in West Bloomfield. Join us for a dynamic forum on Cyber Safety, featuring a panel of legal experts, educators and IT professionals. This panel includes information about Cyberbullying and what yourucligital imprint" looks like. This is a must attend for parents, educators and anyone, anywhere who is online. RSVP: (248) 432-5411 or ts@hermelinort.org This program is free and open to the community and designed for an adult audience. Please reserve to confirm your spot. Walk-ins are welcome but program materials are only available to registered participants. THE BATTLE FOR THE JEWISH SOUL: ARE THE MISSIONARIES WINNING? Michigan Jewish Institute, SAJE (Seminars for Adult Jewish Enrichment) In this provocative, two-part lecture series and The Shul present: Rabbi Tovia Singer exposes the growing and unyielding efforts of fundamentalist Christian organizations like "Jews for Jesus" that aggressively target Jews for conversion. Jesus Was a Jew, But Can a Jew Be far Jesus? Thursday, November 18, 2010 7:30 p.m. lecture light refreshments, book sale and signing following program The Janice Charach Gallery Jewish Community Center 6600 W. Maple Road West Bloomfield Rabbi Tovia Singer Text Twist: How Missionaries Manipulate Jewish Scriptures Sunday, November 21, 2010 1 p.m. light dairy lunch 1:30 p.m. lecture Radio talk show host, author, and top international counter-missionary expert Two compelling lectures. Attend one or both. Free and open to the public. The Shul The Jack & Miriam Shenkman Building 6890 W. Maple Road West Bloomfield Pre-registration is requested by November 15. Call 248.432.5692 or visit www.jccdet.org . Register for Nirim credits at www.jewishdetroit.org/nirim. Rabbi Singer's visit is generously underwritten by Linda Lowenstein and family in memory of her parents. SAJE is made possible, in part, thanks to the generous support of Sheri & David Jaffa through the Center's Pillars of Light program. SAJE is endowed by a generous gift from Cis Maisel Kellman. 1Vl * !F de FeCEM brer Aek 1111..131* :A T c E rum 1634390 50 November 11 • 2010 Overcoming Hate Parshat Vayetze: Genesis 28:10-32:3; Hosea 12:13-14:10. y ou can dislike intensely, but you should never, ever hate. This was a pervasive refrain my mother ingrained into me as a youngster. Yes "hate" is a very strong word because it denotes revulsion, distaste, enmity and antipathy. Additionally, as we know all too well, hatred can be a precursor to violence and a major motive behind armed conflicts like war and ter- rorism. I can only imagine that several of our biblical ancestors must have felt a sense of hatred on the highest level. For instance, Cain must have hated his brother Abel to be com- pelled to kill him. Similarly, Esau must have hated Jacob after Jacob stole both the first- born inheritance and his father's most cherished blessing. But inter- estingly, the word "hate" does not emerge in either of these two stories or in any other Torah portion thus far until it appears this week in Parshat Vayetze. Following Jacob's unanticipated marriage to Leah after working seven years to win the hand of her sister Rachel, Leah became hated by Jacob. While Jacob had reason to perhaps "hate" Leah's father, Laban, for his terrible act of deceit, what reason did Jacob have for putting his feelings of hatred onto Leah? Nonetheless, the Torah is unwaver- ing in its use of the Hebrew word for hatred — s'nuah — suggesting per- haps that Jacob hated Leah because she symbolized the deceptive circum- stances of their wedding and thus their entire relationship. Sinat chinam — baseless and causeless hatred — is what the ancient rabbis attribute to being the primary reason that the ancient Temple in Jerusalem was destroyed. And I believe that we have learned little, if anything, about controlling our hatred as a society in the 2000 years since the Temple's destruction. Sadly, like our forbearers, we, too, live in a time where intense hatred prevails between people. We are products of a world overflowing with unyielding prejudice, bigotry, racism, sexism, homophobia and countless other forms of hatred that at times leads to condemnation and violence against both indi- viduals as well as groups of people. But even Jacob shows us this week that hatred does not have to prevail. Our portion also offers a vision for a world beyond hatred, one that I hope we can all fully embrace. As Jacob dreams of a ladder reaching the heav- ens, he arises from his sleep refocused and revi- talized — excited to bring the beauty of God's majesty and the potential for increased holiness into the world. No longer being held back by the awful memory of all the years of hard labor he experienced in Laban's house, Jacob now has a clear mission to pursue: spreading the power of goodness and kindness among all people. We, too, can have the very same mission and purpose if we so choose. Recognizing that hating others generates so much unneces- sary and destructive dark energy within us, we should allow ourselves to fully let go of our negativity and our grudges in attempting to create a reality where respect, honor, men- tshlekeit and peace reign supreme. I am convinced that if Jacob could do it, so can we! ❑ Rabbi Joseph H. Krakoff is a rabbi at Congregation Shaarey Zedek in Southfield. Conversations What would or has provoked you to feelings of hatred of another person? Do you feel that you give others the benefit of the doubt? How can you make friends out of your so-called "enemies"?