Jewish And Gay

Forum at Conservative synagogue fosters understanding and inclusion.

Judy Vine
Special to the Jewish News

T

he open forum "Being Gay, Being
Jewish — A Conversation" was
held July 15 at Congregation Beth
Ahm in West Bloomfield, co-hosted by the
Jewish Gay Network of Michigan.
Two themes were apparent throughout
the conversation: Accepting people's differ-
ences and acknowledging the commonal-
ity of their life experiences and emotions.
The program at the Conservative syna-
gogue was billed as a first in Michigan
because of its boundary-breaking topic. It
drew parallels between being Jewish and
being gay: the struggle against prejudice,
the right to live openly, the right of self-
respect and the right to live free of bigotry
and hatred.
With the Conservative movement con-
flicted, yet inching toward full acceptance of
gays and lesbians, Rabbi Steven Rubenstein
of Beth Ahm provided a frank discus-
sion on the evolving process of Halachah
(Jewish law), homosexuality and inclusion.
He then moderated a three-part program
that featured poignant community- and
family-themed stories offered by panelists.
One story referenced the baby-naming
experience a lesbian couple had. Although
welcomed to stage this lifecycle event at
an unnamed synagogue, only one member
of the gay couple was allowed to be on the
bimah for the blessing.
The father of a gay son spoke of the
torment his son experienced in his youth;
experiences that forced the son to move
away from Metro Detroit to find himself.
"We all have feelings of prejudice the
father remarked. "I worked a lot and was
not there for my son at the time'
The parent of a lesbian daughter spoke
of how long it took him to be comfortable
with his child's life path in spite of having
lived and worked among gay people. "Our
daughter came out slowly, and I was kind
of in denial for a long time he said.
He explained he thought his early
reaction to his daughter being openly
gay came from his own fear as a hidden
child of the Holocaust. Because of that, he
harbored a fear for her exposing her own
identity.
Selected readings and a participatory
exercise on the commonness of experiences
sought to unite the audience in thought.
During an exercise, the audience was asked
to stand if they had experienced various

Beth Ahm Rabbi Steven Rubenstein and Julia Pais of Southfield

Beth Greenapple shares a personal story at the forum.

interrupt their post-program conversation to smile for the camera.

Event chair Diane Sasson addresses the

George Vine shares his story of

Rene Lichtman, a presenter, reviews his

75 attendees.

parenting a gay son.

notes.

statements as they were read. These state-
ments included: if you have ever been
teased for being the person that you are; if
you ever went to a Jewish summer camp;
if you keep a kosher home; if you light
candles on Shabbat?
The last statement read asked, "Please
stand up, if you live in a state where LGBT
(lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) individu-
als can be fired from their job."
All present stood up because this is the law
in Michigan.
Congregation Beth Ahm asserts it reaches
out to all Jews, encouraging them to partici-
pate and learn by fostering tolerance and
providing a welcoming environment. These
two pillars also hallmark the advocacy
of the Jewish Gay Network (JGN) and its
vision of "a world without closets."
"While homosexuality has been a con-
troversial topic in discussions of Jewish

law over the past several years:' said Rabbi
Rubenstein, "we also need to be asking
about the successes and struggles of gay
people as they search for Jewish commu-
nity. This is an issue for our entire com-
munity, not for gay individuals alone."
In addition to Rubenstein, planners
and participants included Diane Sasson
of Bloomfield Hills; Rene Lichtman, Judy
and George Vine, and JGN Executive
Director Judy Lewis of West Bloomfield;
Beth Greenapple of Southfield; and Dahlia
Schwartz of Beverly Hills.
Of the 75 people in attendance were
members of a variety Metro Detroit con-
gregations. Their eagerness to carry the
evening's messages home came across with
questions regarding future programs. Ci]

Judy Vine is Congregation Beth Ahm's tikkun

Dahlia Schwartz talks to the audience

olam (repair of the world) chairwoman.

about being a Jewish lesbian.

July 29 2010

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