SOUTHEASTERN
J
VISIT OUR WEBSITE:
WWW.SEMJALLIANCE.ORG
EWISH
FOR THE MUST-KNOW INS AND OUTS OF THE YOUNG ADULT JEWISH COMMUNITY!
ALLIANCE
• Don't miss the dating advice on the SINGLES SCENE. • Find all your family needs on the FAMILY SCOOP.
• Stay in touch with networking trends by reading MICHIGAN BUSINESS. • Land a job on the JOB HUNT page.
THERE'S A PAGE THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU!
A Great Place To Live. A Great Place To Be Jewish.
commuNrry sponsored
N E0X T
Need some
advice? Are
you looking
for solutions
for troubling
run-ins and
problems
dealing with
relationships,
family and
friends?
Yenta's here with her
youthful perspective.
To ask Yenta your
question, e-mail
yenta@thejewishnews.com
and look for your
question here in this
column!
Q: I've become more observant
recently and it seems like the pool of
guys is becoming smaller and smaller.
Should I only look for guys who are as
observant as I am or is this ruling out a
lot of potential really great guys?
A:
Dear Jewish Dater, while this is a very
good question, perhaps you are asking the
question the wrong way around. Ask your-
self, "What type of guy would be really great
for me? Who is my ideal match?" By becom-
ing more observant, you may be giving up a
lot of really great guys, but that will be OK
because they won't have been great guys for
you. Understand the difference? This goes
for both men and women: It is ideal to look
for someone "in your range" of observance
Try to stay true to your convictions and
look for a match in someone who shares
common ideals and growth plans for the
future as you do. Consider one of the fol-
lowing: a) look for someone more religious
than yourself to act as your mentor, b) look
for someone rather equal to you so you both
can find your path together, or c) it's always
possible that a less religious person may be
open to change and take on your commit-
ments. I would be cautious with this third
option though; it leads right into a slippery
slope. Don't be too quick to give up your
ideals because you found a new hottie who
doesn't keep kosher or doesn't keep Shabbat,
for example. This is where you need to ask
yourself: "Is he in my range?" You can easily
find yourself sliding down that mountain all
the way back to bunny hill real fast.
Q: What's the protocol on wearing
jewelry given by ex-boyfriends? My
girlfriends and I have been given
countless gifts from boyfriends over
the years that we would hate to part
with — not because of the memories
but because of the beauty and the
quality of the actual item. What is the
standard, what do you suggest?
A:
Dear Cartier, David Yurman and Neil
Lane, my advice is two-pronged. I generally
always advise to tightly hold on to all dia-
monds, rubies and materials with 14+ carat
weight. I know this is not the traditional
recommendation, but let's be honest, who
wants to part with those diamond studs or
that pearl drop necklace? I barely remember
what they commemorate; I just know they
look stunning with my Marc Jacobs dress.
Depending on how one's relationship
ended, however, I might think twice. Was
your ex emotionally or physically abusive?
Did he cheat on you? Is it six years later and
still every time you look at that silver bangle
you well up with tears? These are perhaps
the cases where it's best to consider donat-
ing your jewelry to charity or selling it. But
overall, don't be afraid of the jealous new
boyfriend, keeping old jewelry is only an
incentive for him to outdo the ex and buy
you better sparkle!
Wh en Dates Go Bad And the bathroom window is too small to sneak out
They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs before
you find your prince, and boy have I kissed a
lot of frogs. Actually, to be more accurate, I've
had drinks with a lot of frogs. Kissing was off
the table the moment I sat down with these
sorry excuses for dates.
It's the single person's worst nightmare:
the bad date. And if there's someone out
there who knows a thing or two about them,
it's me. Honestly, I'm convinced I'm stuck
in some sort of Truman Show meets The
Bachelor, and the world is tuning in to watch
the entertaining train wreck that is my dat-
ing life.
I've even searched for hidden cameras in
my car. It's that bad.
There was the guy who didn't bring any
money on the date and told me, while walk-
ing past an ATM in Royal Oak, that I'd be
paying for dinner before he went ahead and
ordered 3/4 of the menu.
Then there was the guy who asked me out
— and then spent the date probing me for
advice on juggling the two women he was
currently dating. Neither of which was me.
Most recently was the guy who answered
his cell phone during our dinner. Not terrible,
until he told me it was his divorce attorney
and explained he was going through a nasty
separation. And had two toddlers at home.
There were others filled with awkward
silences, fierce political debates, tears over
a recent break-up (his, not mine) and one
very uncomfortable evening with a man who
had once dated my sister-in-law (before she
became my sister-in-law) during which he
talked about her all night.
The one thing stringing all these bad dates
together? (Well, besides the fact that they
were bad.) No matter how awful they were,
there was really no way out. And that's the
case for all bad dates. The minute you agree
to "meet up" — obviously hoping for a good
date — you're signing away your evening and
agreeing to whatever may happen, from the
awkward kiss hello to the battle of the bill
(Do I offer? Should I offer? Will not offering
signal that I'm interested in wasting another
3 hours with him next week?) and everything
in between.
So while it only may take you 3 minutes
to realize this person isn't right for you (or, in
my case, that you'd rather smack them than
date them), you have to wait it out. For the
entire night. Laughing at their horrible jokes,
eating quickly so the waiter can bring the
bill, and trying to come up with some excuse
— any excuse — to bail early.
"OH! I just realized I forgot to DVR The
Hills! I have to go home right now!"
It's enough to make you want to give up
dating all together. Lord knows I've sworn it
off time and time again. After as many bad
dates as I've had, it's enough to make me
want to join a convent. But I don't, because 1)
I'm Jewish and 2) as much as I love Sister Act
(1 and 2) and as bad as my bad dates have
been, I know there's something better out
there for me. I know that one day, expecting
the worst, I'll sit down to a perfect date, free
of those long silences, moral differences and
discussions of other people he is dating.
At least that's what I was telling myself
last night as yet another guy droned on and
on (and on) about his job in law. How many
frogs does a girl have to drink beer with
before she finds her prince?!
— D-Town Dater
section
Pitch For
Israel Detroit
Reconnecting Young Jewish Detroiters!
Pitch for Israel Detroit ("Pitch") is an all day
charity softball tournament and end of summer
reunion for young adults to reconnect with the
Jewish and larger Detroit communities. Players
and fans alike are invited to come enjoy the
event, which will also feature a BBQ entertain-
ment, and Home Run Derby on August 29th.
Co-founders Adam Blanck
and Benjy Gordon (both 23)
adopted the idea for Pitch
from a similar event in Toronto,
bringing it to the Detroit area
to help reconnect their gen-
eration to the community, and
bring young adults together for a day of sport,
community, and charity.
The event will benefit CommunityNEXT, a pro-
gram of the Jewish Federation of Metropolitan
Detroit and ELEM, an Israeli non-profit organiza-
tion for runaway, homeless and neglected youth
in distress.
Individual and team registration are now open
online at www.pitchforisraeldetroit.com
EVENT DETAILS
Date: Sunday, August 29th
Location: Drake Sports Park, West
Bloomfield, MI
www.pitchforisraeldetroit.com .
CommunityNEXT is a program powered by
the Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Detroit
focused on attracting and retaining young
talent in Michigan.
events
hot spots
MITZVAH INITIATIVE & FOCUS
HOPE COMMUNITY CLEAN UP
Sunday, June 27, 10 ami,-3 p.m.
lit uvntown DetroK
Join the Federation of Metropolitan Detroit Young
Adult Division (YAD) as we partner with Spirit
and Truth Ministries to assist with minor repairs
and beautification in a Detroit neighborhood.
Volunteers will be assigned to a work crew
(housecleaning, interior or exterior decoration,
yard or paint) and sent to different homes, parks
and schools in the neighborhood. Please bring
clean, gently used clothing items to donate.
Register online at www.jewishdetroit.org or
contact Jennifer Levine, jlevine©ffmd.org .
In our mission to redirect the narrative of Southeastern Michigan, we have spearheaded a campaign geared towards young Jewish adults in our region. If you
would like to submit any events, information or would like to be featured in our section, please contact Rachel Lachover at (248) 351-5156 or
rlachover@thejewishnews.com . JOIN US ON FACEBOOK; search our group name and fan page "SE MICHIGAN JEWISH ALLIANCE"
20
June 24 2010