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SINGLES SCENE

events
& hot spots

Navigating the Dating Scene in the 21st Century

With all this technology, I need a GPS system just to find a date.

Last weekend, while having dinner with
some girlfriends, I met someone. Well, to
be fair, I spilled a Diet Coke on him while
wildly flailing my arms as I told a story,
but it doesn't really matter how the
conversation started. We spent the next
hour air drying his button down and enjoy-
ing a really great conversation until he had
to leave.
I was hoping he'd take my number —
it's not often you find someone who loves
both documentaries and trashy reality
shows as much as I do — and was excited
when I saw him reach in his pocket for his
Blackberry. Only instead of asking for my
number he opened his Facebook applica-
tion and asked me to spell my last name as
he typed it into the search bar.
And so it goes, dating in the 21st
century.
Technology has done many wonderful
things to bring people together. Thanks to
innovations like text messaging and Skype,
and websites like Facebook and Twitter,
communicating has never been easier. You
can keep up to date with friends without
ever actually speaking to them; see their
pictures, follow every last detail of their
daily lives. And if you do want to get in
touch with them, you have what seems like

ASK YENTA

Need some
advice? Are
you looking for
solutions for
troubling
run-ins and
problems
dealing with
relationships,
family and friends?
Yenta's here with her
youthful perspective.

To ask Yenta your
question, e-mail
yenta@thejewishnews.com
and look for your question
here in this column!

a million different options.
But when it comes to dating,
more modes of communication
mean more opportunities for mixed
messages, awkwardness and hours
spent drafting the perfect 140-
character response. It's enough to
make your head spin ... or give up
all together. Sure, my dad might
argue that old-fashioned dating was
hard ("You try winning over your
grandpa"), but I'm pretty sure he has
no idea what it's like to decode an
emoticon-filled text message from a
potential suitor. Even I, a self-professed
Internet junkie who can't go 10 minutes
without checking my phone, often find
myself longing for the days of rotary phones
and hand-written love letters. Dating back
then just seemed so simple and, while
necking at the drive-in was probably
uncomfortable, at least previous generations
of daters didn't have to deal with:
Staring at your cell waiting for a text
response. "He texted me, I texted back.
Why isn't he texting back yet? Did it not
go through? What if it went through
and he ignored it? WHY ISN'T HE
TEXTING BACK?"
Staring at your cell decoding what

the (much delayed) text
response really meant.
"What does the slanty face
mean? Is ending with a
period a bad thing?
Premature judgment:
You can't help but judge
someone based on their
favorite movies (Glitter?
Really?), music (Passion
Pit, swoon!) or photos.
And whether you end up
misguided into love or loathing, getting to
know someone based solely on their online
profile is always misleading.
Someone Prematurely Judging You.
You know that you listed Sister Act as a
favorite movie as a joke, but will they?
Too Many Options. You texted first.
They e-mailed back. You left a voicemail.
They wrote on your Wall. Do you text?
Call? Tweet? Skype? Is calling coming on
too strong? Is texting not coming on strong
enough? Should you use an emoticon?
Two Words: Google History.
Sigh. Dating with technology is like
helping my grandparents with technology:
It's confusing, it's frustrating and it never
really ends up working right anyway.
D Town Dater

Q: I've been dating this guy, 26,
for about two months now when he
asked me to come back to his
house after our dinner date.
When we walked in the door, I was
unnervingly surprised to be greeted
by both of his parents! Not moments
later, his two younger sisters came
down the stairs. Turns out he lives
at home. What do you think? Mama's
boy?

A:

Dear Homebound Dater, don't be dis-
couraged. In this economy a lot of young-
er people are moving back in with their
parents to both save money and, in some
cases, to share family expenses. It may
seem like you have a mama's boy on your
hands when you actually have a financially
responsible guy who is building a decent
savings account. After two months of dat-
ing, you might wonder that your man has
never mentioned his address before, but
understand it might be a sensitive topic.
Try asking about his housing plans for the
future and where he has lived in the past,
to see what is behind his housing choices.

—

-

This will help you figure out his mindset
— responsible adult or lazy lounger. If he
says he loves the homemade cooking and
the perks of his mommy doing his laundry
then I'd be concerned. Just make sure he
has no intentions of becoming a perma-
nent resident!

0:

I was recently laid off and it is
really affecting my dating cash flow.
What can I do to still maintain an
active dating life?

A: Dear Unemployed and Socially Eager:

In this economy, it is important to remem-
ber you are not alone in the hardships of
a tight cash flow, so don't be discouraged.
Your money belt deficit can, in fact, be your
time to shine and show a gal how uniquely
you stand out from all the guys in the dat-
ing pool. Fine wine and fancy dinners are
elegant, but not so memorable. I always say,
"If dinner is the best a man can come up
with for a date, that may not be a person I
want to be stuck with for the rest of my life!"
Be creative and fun with date ideas, as these
are often the ones that are least expensive

DETROIT-YAD OUTDOORS
CLUSTER KICKOFF EVENT
— KAYAKING
Sunday, June 13, 11 a.m.-2 p.m.
Island Lake Recreation Area, Milford
Join this DetroitYAD cluster if you're inter-

ested in being outdoors and staying active! ,
YAD is the Young Adult Division of the Jewish
Federation of Metropolitan Detroit. Clusters
are interest-centered groups of like-minded
Detroit Jews aged 21-41. Bring your own
lunch. Cost: $24, includes all gear. For
more information, e-mail Ben Chutz, ben-
jaminchutz@gmail.com or join the group on
Facebook by searching "DetroitYAD Outdoors
Cluster."

YAD SUMMER BAR NIGHT
Thursday, June 17, 1k30 p.m.
Rosie O'Grady's, Ferndale

Join YAD for the first Summer Bar Night of
2010! For more information, contact Jennifer
Levine, YAD director, at (248) 203-1471 or
jlevine@jfmd.org .

DETROIT RIVER DAYS --V;

Friday, June 18-Monday, June 21
Along the Detroit Riverfront from
the Renaissance Center to the new
Milliken State Park

River Days is a celebration of Detroit's river,
history and culture with activities on land
and water, including tall ships, live music,
sand sculptures, river tours, carnival rides,
jet-ski demos, kids activities, delicious eats
and much more! Cost: $3 to support the
non-profit Detroit RiverFront Conservancy. For
more information, visit www.detroitriverdays.
com

ADAT SHALOM' S YOUNG
ADULT GROUP:
POTLUCK SHABBAT DINNER

Friday, June 25, 7 p.m.

Home of Bonnie & Eric Globerman
Please bring a parve dish to pass! Please
respond to Bonnie, Bon412@aol.com with
the pareve dish you would like to bring as
soon as possible, but no later than June 15.

=—

Date Idea

but the most fun (especially during the sum-
mer!). Take a walk in the park, spend a day
at the beach or a personal favorite — go to
the zoo. Do an activity like miniature golf,
go-carting or bowling. Doing something
together allows for more conversation, inter-
action and the opportunity to get to know
one another better. You can do this on any
scale and on any budget!

In our mission to redirect the narrative of Southeastern Michigan, we have spearheaded a campaign geared towards young Jewish adults in our region. If you
would like to submit any events, information or would like to be featured in our section, please contact Rachel Lachover at (248) 351-5156 or
rlachover@thejewishnews.com . JOIN US ON FACEBOOK; search our group name and fan page "SE MICHIGAN JEWISH ALLIANCE"

22

June O

2010