MICHIGAN
EWISH

A Great Place To -Live. A Great Place To Be Jewish.

ALLIANCE'

It's Wedding Season in The D

ADAT SHALOM YOUNG
ADULT GROUP BOWLING

And the closest thing I've got to a boyfriend is that guy with the mini-eggrolls

For the most part, summer is a great time
for dating: People go out more, there
are more opportunities for fun dates and
everyone looks better when their skin is a
little less pasty. But there is also one major
downside (besides the humidity-induced
Jew-fro): It's wedding season.
Much like the "bar-mitzvah year" that
monopolized our jam-packed 7th-grade bab-
ysitting schedules, wedding season takes over
most of our adult summers. And I'm current-
ly in the throes of it. If I'm not at a shower or
destination bachelorette party, I'm clutching
a $5 off coupon in the kitchen appliance aisle
of Bed Bath and Beyond, looking for a gift
that I'll never benefit from (unless, for some
reason, my friends invite me over for kugel
...). It seems that every hour and every dollar
I have is now being budgeted for someone
else's happily ever after.
Now, I'm not some Grinch who hates
weddings or some weepy single girl who
cries when some other random friend from
middle school appears in the simcha sec-
tion of this very paper, but I am beginning
to wonder how I'll ever get my own happy
ending when I'm dedicating myself to
everyone else's.
I know, I know — weddings are the best
place to meet people, blah, blah, blah; at
least that's what women's magazines have

been telling me for years. (Although they
also tell me to pair $700 shoes with $400
jeans, so what do they know?) And that
might be the case, if you can get past all
the other wedding hurdles we single people
have to deal with.
Like, if we're invited with a date, who
do we bring? That person we've had two
uncomfortable dates with and who might
get the wrong idea, or the friend that we
know will be fun to dance with but also
gets a little rowdy after a few glasses of
Pinot? Or should we bring anyone at all?
Will that send the wrong message to the
other eligible singles/potential soulmates
milling around the sweet table?
If we're not invited with a date, what are
we supposed to do during all those slow
songs? Stand awkwardly next to the dance

Q: My girlfriend just relocated to
another state for a new job. What are
the best ways that we can keep a
long-distance relationship flourish-
ing?

ASK 'YENTA

Need some
advice? Are
you looking for
solutions for
troubling
run-ins and
problems
dealing with
relationships,
family and friends?
Yenta's here with her
youthful perspective.

A:

To ask Yenta your
question, e-mail
yenta@thejewishnews.com
and look for your question
here in this column!

Dear Long Distance Lover, you are
in luck! In this day and age of technol-
ogy, you should have no problem staying
closely connected — and it won't cost you
a fortune either. Back in my day, we had
hefty long distance charges, no virtual
computer chatrooms and we even had
to walk to school (Do I sound like your
mother yet?). But in reality, there are so
many ways for people to stay closely con-
nected these days from afar. I have family
overseas and utilize Skype on a regular
basis. Although it is not quite as satisfy-
ing as snuggling up on the couch, simply
seeing each other face-to-face on a site
like Skype truly does help. With the busy
lives we lead, you may want to designate
a set time each night to meet online and
chat. From experience, having a long-dis-
tance relationship will either strengthen
or weaken your current relationship. Now
that you are going to be apart, you are
going to need to work extra hard, show-
ing your true commitment to make it the
former. Pick up the phone if you have an
extra three minutes during the day just
to check in, send an e-mail during your

floor watching people dance, or sit awk-
wardly at the table with a piece of cake and
some chocolate-dipped potato chips?
And then, assuming we go it alone, will
the other guests at Table 12 (AKA Single-
vile) also be getting intense pressure from
the happy couple to chat it up with the
"awesome person, I don't know why he/
she's still single!" sitting across from them?
Will he/she assume that just because we
happen to sit next to them and chat about
challah, we are already planning our very
special, very romantic 300-person wedding
at Shaarey Zedek? Will we have to explain
to the groom why his third cousin once
removed just isn't our type (because that's
a lot nicer than the whole "there's clearly a
reason this person is still single, but thanks
for trying to pawn him off on me because I
also happen to be single"), but thank you so
much for thinking of me?
It's just too much pressure.
I like those mini-egg rolls just as much
as the next person (OK, maybe more than
the next person), but wedding season isn't
ideal for a single person like me.
Here's hoping things die down and I can
get back to my regularly scheduled blind
dates so that I may one day get to create a
Slade's registry of my own.

—

D town Dater

-

lunch break or order a flower bouquet or
cookie basket every once in a while just to
let her know you are thinking about her.
People say that distance makes the heart
grown fonder; this new arrangement just
may help you progress to the next phase of
your relationship!

Q: I've been on several dates with
the same guy and every time we have
split the bill. Thus far, I haven't had
a problem with it — I totally under-
stand how money is tight for every-
one now and I'm not the kind of girl
who always expects the guy to pay,
especially when we are not even an
"official" couple yet. However, I'm
starting to question whether or not
he is at all chivalrous and can be the
"man" in the relationship. Sometimes
it is nice to feel like a girl and be
taken out on a nice, old-fashioned
romantic date. What should I do?

A:

Dear Pocket Protector, there is a
simple question that needs to be answered
first. Money aside, do you like this guy?
If the answer is no, then don't waste your
time. But, if you've started to daydream
about monogrammed bathroom towels,
then don't you think you might just be
trying to nitpick and find a flaw? Yes, all
men should show some characteristics of

Saturday, May 15, 8
n g .a Ifs, Fa r n gto n
Join the Young Adult Group for another fun
night at Langan's! Cost: $12 in advance,
$15 at the door. Prices include two games,
shoe rental and snacks. For more informa-
tion, contact Amanda Warner at awarner@
aol.com .

COFFEE TASTING

Sunday, May 16, 10-11:30 an,
Chazzano's Coffee, Ferndale
Participants will taste four coffees from
around the world. Limited to 20 people.
$8 per person, unlimited coffee. For more
information, call (248) 358-0154. Chazzano's
Coffee is supervised under the Detroit Vaad.

BBYO REUNION

Saturday, May 29, 7 p.m.
Andiamo and the Dirty Martini, Novi
If you were in BBYO anytime from 1980-
1990, this party is for you! Party, cocktails,
hysterical photos, memories — it will be
a blast! $20 before May 21, $30 after-
wards: includes appetizers, pop, coffee,
tea. Cash bar. For more information and to
RSVP, contact Dori (Weiner) Weinstein at
DoriWeinstein@mac.com .

YAD COFFEE TALK

Monday, May 24 6:30 p.m.
Home of a YAD volunteer, Birmingham
Are you new in town or new to com-
munal involvement through YAD, Young
Adult Division of the Jewish Federation of
Metropolitan Detroit? Are you between age
21-41? Join fellow young adults at a quar-
terly coffee talk to learn more about YAD,
Federation and opportunities for involvement
available. For information and/or to RSVP,
contact Jennifer Levine, YAD Director, at
(248) 203-1471 or jlevine@jfmd.org . Pizza
will be served. Dietary laws observed.

Great Date Idea

chivalry and be the proper gentleman, but
unfortunately not all men know how, and
we as women sometimes need to train
them. Don't be shy to hint to your man
that he needs to step it up a little. If you
are reaching for your wallet right away
each time the bill comes, why would he
think that he should pick up the tab? Next
time you go out, take a passive approach
and see what he does — he may just
surprise you!

In our mission to redirect the narrative of Southeastern Michigan, we have spearheaded a campaign geared towards young Jewish adults in our region. If you
would like to submit any events, information or would like to be featured in our section, please contact Rachel Lachover at (248) 351-5156 or
rlachover@thejewishnews.com . JOIN US ON FACEBOOK; search our group name and fan page "SE MICHIGAN JEWISH ALLIANCE"

