ASK THE EXPERT

Chanukah Bush

M

y kids (ages 5 and 8) real-
ly love Christmas trees.
They know that I won't
have one in our house because we're
Jewish, but recently someone told
them about a Chanukah bush, and
they've been asking if we can get
one of those. How can I explain to
them my discomfort with the tradi-
tion without seeming like-a Grinch? -

f

-Henry, Nashville

Oy. I try to be impartial about these
things, Henry, but I'm with you when
it comes to Chanukah bushes. I just
don't like them.
First of all, you might want to get
your hands on the children's book
by Susan Sussman called There's
No Such Thing as a Chanukah Bush
Sandy Goldstein. The situation it
deals with is not precisely the same
as yours; but reading the book might
be a good way to start the conversa-
tion with your kids.
The concern I think most people
have with Chanukah bushes is that
they are too close for comfort to
Christmas trees. There's not much
difference between the two as far as
I can tell.
When you're talking with your
kids about this, you can discuss how
Jewish holidays aim to keep the tra-
ditions and history of the Jewish peo-
ple alive. You can look at other ritual
items you might have in your home
— a seder plate, a siddur, a noise-
maker, etc. — and talk about how
all of them are connected to things
in Jewish history. Then talk about
a Chanukah bush and how it really
doesn't have a Jewish history at all.
One thing that I think is helpful in
this kind of situation is focusing on
the ways that your kids can celebrate
with others without necessarily tak-
ing on their ideology. Your kids can
visit friends who have Christmas
trees and can enjoy the trees that are
out in public spaces. But they should
do this to be happy for others, not to
take on non-Jewish rituals as their
own.
The best way to combat Christmas
envy is to amp up your own
Chanukah celebrations in ways that
aren't purely derivative of Christian
traditions. Consider making your
own window decorations to help
publicize the mitzvah of lighting
Chanukah candles. Make Chanukah

foods from scratch (latkes and suf-
ganiyot [doughnuts] are Ashkenazi
options or try Sephardi/Mizrahi
bimuelos and atayef) and set up a
dreidel tournament. You can even
have a contest in your family to see
who can make the most interesting
chanukiyah [Chanukah menorah]
from things around the house. The
eight nights of Chanukah are also a
great opportunity to invite friends to
celebrate with you.
I think the key to really getting
your children to enjoy all of these
holiday activities is to steer the
conversation away from direct corn-
parisons to Christmas. Celebrating
Chanukah shouldn't be about provid-
ing an alternative to Christmas. If
you bill it that way, you'll always lose
out to Santa and Christmas trees.
Chanukah is about focusing on
maintaining a Jewish identity even in
the face of a strong cultural current
that defies that sentiment.
Another way to focus the discus-
sion is to remind your kids about
all of the holidays on the Jewish
calendar. After Chanukah, we have Tu
b'Shvat, then Purim and Passover. You
can talk about the traditions that go
with these holidays and all the excit-
ing and fun traditions that lead up to
them, whether it's making small gifts
for friends at Purim or searching the
house for chametz at Passover.
If you own a children's book or
game about the Jewish calendar, now
is a great time to bring it out. If you
have family pictures from Jewish
holidays in years past, this is a great
time to look at them.
As the secular year comes to a
close, you can take the time to look
forward to the whole cycle of won-
derful Jewish holidays that will begin
again next year. Fl

For more information about Judaism and

Jewish life, visit MyJewishLearning.com .

Saturday, December 19

11:30 a.m. 1:30 pm.

Kick off the holiday season at Heritage Southfield's

Holiday Brunch & Bazaar. Enjoy a scrumptious

holiday brunch and see the inspired creations of local

crafters and vendors. Don't miss this special event.

Complimentary admission and brunch.

For reservations and information,
call Bridgett Embry at (248) 727-2008
by December 17.

ofai

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December 10 c 2009

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