Family Focus

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Kever Avot bridges the generations en route to graveside Kaddish.

Anita Naigles
Special to the Jewish News

K

ever Avot is an open bridge
of kindness and friendship,
enabling chaperones to guide
seniors through a lonely period of remem-
brance into the light of warmth and caring.
The tradition of Kever Avot, the custom
of visiting "the graves of our ancestors" a
Sunday before Rosh Hashanah, is an annual
communal event. It is run by Temple Israel
in West Bloomfield with support from the
Ira Kaufman Chapel in Southfield.
Participating seniors typically are unable
to get to the cemetery any other way to visit
the graves of family and friends. Seniors are
paired with caring chaperones who assist
them in locating the graves of family mem-
bers, then placing ritual stones and memo-
rial flowers and saying Kaddish.
Kari Provizer, director of Temple Israel's
Robert Sosnick Family Life Center, said,
"This 12-year-old program is the mitzvah
of a lifetime, with volunteers giving their
time, love and energy. We could not do this
without them. We are eternally grateful."
Rabbi Jennifer Kaluzny addressed 150
chaperones as they gathered at the syna-
gogue Sunday, Sept. 13, for bagels, juice and
coffee before leaving on charter buses to
pick up their elderly companions. Ninety
seniors from 10 assisted care and indepen-
dent living complexes visited 200 gravesites.
"I have spent a lot of time with older
adults;' Rabbi Kaluzny said. "There is a
sense of loneliness. Not only are you giving
companionship, you are eradicating a bit of
that loneliness."

A Family Project
Nadine and Harvey Miller, along with their
son Bob, have made volunteering to com-
bat loneliness a family affair for more than
10 years. Nadine saw how difficult it was
for her own mother-in-law, a Fleishman
Residence resident in West Bloomfield, to
get around. Nadine felt there was a need
for assistance.
"What a wonderful outing and a way to
connect," Nadine said. "We made friends
with the residents. It's a highlight in our lives
and gives us much pleasure to sit and talk to

seniors and to know how much it means to
them. We share tears and laughter."
This year, the Millers were paired with
soft-spoken Sophia Kopilevich of Oak
Park. Sophia for seven years has been visit-
ing the grave of her husband, Grigory, at
Nusach H'ari Cemetery in Ferndale. "I feel
very good and appreciative of Kever Avot,"
Sophia said.
In Russia, I walked everywhere. It is
good to be able to ride on a bus to visit
my husband's grave. My Bob is a very nice
volunteer."
Shoshana Rubenstein, a social worker
at Farmington Hills-based JARC, also is a
longtime chaperone. "I am very touched by
the program," she said. "I don't have grand-
parents anymore so I am grateful to be with
someone."
Sharing, consoling, saying prayers and
enriching life is what her senior compan-
ion, Freda Rose Fuchs of West Bloomfield,
is grateful for. Originally from Louisville,
Ky., in Freda's now faint southern drawl,
she recounts her life in Kentucky and her
sadness for relatives who perished in the
Holocaust. She visits the Ferndale-based
Machpelah Cemetery grave of her mother,
who passed away on her birthday.
"I don't like to be alone; that's why I
come along on the bus',' Freda said. "It is
very important to me to recite my special
prayers."

Everyone Benefits
David Techner of Ira Kaufman Chapel
said, "It feels good for people who volun-
teer and it's a great thing for seniors. Our
great job is to give back to the community
in a way that is meaningful:'
Herbert Kaufman of the chapel said
Kever Avot is the most-thrilling program he
has been involved with. "Each year',' he said,
"it gets bigger and bigger."
Volunteers Fran Victor and Bill Harder
have always helped the same senior, Lottie
Malkin of West Bloomfield, who this year
was unable to participate because of a fall.
So Fran made certain that she said Kaddish
for all five of Lottie's loved ones, thus ensur-
ing Lottie would not have to worry.
It is this show of empathy that repre-
sents all those involved in Kever Avot. I

Volunteer Shoshana Reubenstein comforts senior Freda Rose Fuchs of West
Bloomfield, who visits her mother's grave at Machpelah Cemetery.

Volunteer George Cooper of West
Bloomfield watches as Charlotte
Waxer of West Bloomfield vis-
its her son Stuart's grave at
Machpelah Cemetery.

Temple Israel's Mark Siegler of
Walled Lake and Norm Samson of
West Bloomfield co-chaired Kever
Avot. Kever Avot has served 1,000
seniors. Fleischman Residence/
Jewish Senior Life donated snacks

Volunteers Harvey and Nadine Miller and
their son Bob, all of West Bloomfield, with
Sophia Kopilevich of Oak Park at Machpelah
Cemetery.

and lunches. Breath of Spring of
Bloomfield Township provided flow-
ers. Oakland County-based Hiller's
Markets was another donor. The
program is open to the community
regardless of affiliation.

September 24 • 2009

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