INTERFAITH

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My Daughter's Bat
Mitzvah Afterglow

partner with her mother in raising
Gabbi — in the secular world as
well as the religious. You might say
11 I can say is, "Wow!"
that I had a lot invested here, but it's
Well actually, I'll have to
not about me. I think love describes
say a bit more than that
it more accurately. I always
to fill out my column. My
want her to succeed and
daughter's bat mitzvah was
grow as a person.
a fantastic experience for
It would be an under-
our whole interfaith fam-
statement
to say that the
ily. To hear Gabbi on the
bat
mitzvah
was a mean-
bimah chanting her Torah
ingful
event.
Despite this
portion, to see her mature
being
my
side's
first ever,
into this young woman
there
was
no
holding
back.
and to see my Protestant
My
parents
even
helped
family joyfully embrace
dress the Torah. It really
its first bat mitzvah — I
touched
me that they were
keep repeating, "Wow! It
so
willing
to take part.
couldn't have been better!'
At the evening party, the spirit
I guess, not being Jewish, I didn't
continued. The kids had fun; the
have too many expectations for
Gabbi's big day. However, I had been adults had fun, and both sides
jumped right in on dancing the
to a few bar and bat mitzvahs on
hora. And, even though her brown
my wife's side of the family, which
eyes have started looking astray at
enabled me to know what typical
this age, Gabbi at least chose me for
services and subsequent celebra-
the first slow dance. Then "Soulja
tions were like. Still, when it's your
Boy Tell 'Ern" came on, and everyone
own daughter, unexpected feelings
over the age of 13 cleared the floor
surprisingly seem to surface.
as fast as if someone had yelled,
The first emotion I felt during
"Hey, they're giving out free Motri ii
this experience occurred over the
at the tables!"
last couple of years. It was amaze-
When the party ended, everyone
ment — awe in how much she had
was still smiling. It's funny — I
to learn. Wonder at how I would
tried for weeks to give my parents
have handled the workload if I were
and siblings a heads up on what to
in her shoes. Then I felt a bit of
expect at a bat mitzvah, but their
anxiety. Could she pull it off? Why
jaws still dropped as they took in
doesn't she just finish her d'var
all the colorful balloons and the
Torah already? When she finally
pulled it all together within the final supercharged DJ at the party. You
two weeks, my mood shifted to relief really don't know what it's like until
you experience one for yourself. I
and confidence that she would do
think they're hooked now. (I told
just fine.
them that the first one's free.)
Is surreal an emotion? If it is,
Unfortunately, the joy that we all
then that's how I would describe
feel from this blissful bat mitzvah
my feelings during the rehearsal
afterglow will have to last us until
(yes, rehearsal. See, Mom, it is like
younger sister Molly's in three
a wedding). The moment came
years. Li
when Rabbi Robert Levy was show-
ing Gabbi how to fold her tallis. I
Jim Keen is author of the book "Inside,
starting thinking to myself, "This
Intermarriage: A Christian Partner's
is really happening. Our little girl is
Perspective on Raising a Jewish Family"
becoming a bat mitzvah!" Upon ini-
(URJ Press, forthcoming) and a con-
tial reflection, that felt a little weird
tributor to the book "The Guide to
as I'm not even Jewish. Why should
the Jewish Interfaith Family Life: an
I get so verklempt? You wouldn't
InterfaithFamily.com Handbook" (Jewish
expect it to mean as much to me as
Lights publishing). He is a columnist for
it does to her mother.
However, it does mean as much to InterfaithFamily.com . His e-mail address
is jckeen@umich.edu.
me. I'm her father. I've been a 50-50

Ann Arbor

11

•

May the coming year be filled
with health, happiness and prosperity
for all our family and friends.

Rick, Patty,
Trevor, Sydnee br Jake Nessel

as&na

May the coming year be filled with
health and happiness for all our family and friends.
L'Shanah Tovah!

Karen and Jeffrey Kraft
Elissa and Rachel
Aimee and Matt Spatzner

36

September 17 2009