Shana Tova 5770 HAPPY NEW YEAR

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Why can't twins just get along?

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Detroit Deli 8, Catering • 31645 Southfield Road (at 131/2 Mite) • Beverly Hills

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R

osh Hashanah's Torah read-
ing on the banishment of
Abraham's son, Ishmael,
has a special acidity for me as an
identical twin.
It's difficult to square the fresh
start and requisite "accounting of
the soul" commanded of us in the
new year with our patriarch's easy
shunning of his first-born child.
True, the text says, "the matter
distressed Abraham greatly, for it
concerned a son of his" (Genesis
21:11),but it
didn't distress
him enough
to protest. He
allowed Sarah
not only to
banish Hagar,
the concubine
she herself
suggested,
but to send
away his
son with her
without food
or water.
The notion
of favorit-
ism runs all
through the
Bible, and
it's uncom-
fortable for
me in every
instance:

• Abel is favored over Cain — at
least as Cain perceives it.

• Abraham, as I began, allows Sarah
to expel Ishmael in favor of Isaac.

• Isaac plays favorites with his twins,
preferring Esau to his younger
brother, Jacob, while Jacob is his
mother Rebecca's chosen one (not to
mention God's).

• Laban, it could be argued, favors
Leah when he swaps her for Rachel
in Jacob's marriage bed.

• And Jacob prefers Joseph over his

102

Septernbr 17 N 2009

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other 11 sons and one daughter.

As an identical twin, I don't accept
the Torah's schematic representa-
tion of parental preference and
siblings — twins in particular — as
instinctive enemies. Reality is more
nuanced than that, and sometimes
wholly opposite. I never sensed
that my parents preferred my sister,
Robin, or me, and I know that Robin
and I feel a primal protectiveness of
each other, not a toxic rivalry.
That's not to say we have a perfect
union — or that at times we don't
quietly measure, contrast and spur
each other to
achieve. But
the baseline
is unshakable
loyalty, warmth
and goodwill.
Moreover, it
seems facile
to me to cast
twins as adver-
saries, almost
like a lazy liter-
ary device.
In fact, the
majority of
twin pairs I
interviewed
for my upcom-
ing book, One
and the Same:
My Life as an
Identical Twin
and What I've
Learned About
Everyone's
Struggle to Be Singular (Doubleday;
$26.95; release date Oct. 20),
described their relationship as a
kind of romance: intense intimacy
and primacy that they haven't found
with a spouse and didn't expect
to. But the two sets of twins in the
Torah are presented unequivocally
as opponents.
The battles between Jacob and
Esau, and Perez and Zerah, begin in
the womb.
Rabbi David Wolpe of Sinai
Temple in Los Angeles, who has
taught a class on twins in the Bible,
says both pairs share one central
idea: "They're all about who gets to