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In his quest to be a better parent,
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Suzanne Chessler
Special to the Jewish News

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B12

June 18 2009

obin Hemley, established as
a writer, knew he wanted to
edit, but he was not aiming
to revise any essays, stories or books.
Instead, the twice-married father of
four desired a second chance at what
had been unhappy experiences at vari-
ous stages of his young life.
With an initial tongue-in-cheek
attitude, the approval of family and
a projected writing project in mind,
Hemley arranged segments of time
with today's kindergarteners, campers,
fraternity members and other groups,
about which he held negative recollec-
tions from his own youth.
His time away from directing the
Nonfiction Writing Program at the
University of Iowa resulted in the book
Do-Over!: In Which a Forty-Eight-
Year-Old Father of Three Returns to
Kindergarten, Summer Camp, the Prom
and Other Embarrassments (Little,
Brown & Company; $23.99). Besides
showing the mechanics of his quest,
the chapters also express his feelings
as a father coaching his children for
the best first-time-around outcomes
in their own lives.
"What made the project really
important to me was that it was all
about fatherhood," explains the now
51-year-old author, who teaches in a
summer program in Prague through
Western Michigan University.
"Ultimately, it was about fathers and
daughters; and I felt that it made me
not only appreciate fatherhood more
but examine it, too, and examine my
role as a father.
"I really adore my daughters; but,
like every father, I have ups and downs
with them. I care about the way they
see me, and I think they care very
much about the way I see them.
"By putting our relationship under
a microscope, I think I was contribut-
ing to a dialogue that the book might
inspire between fathers and daughters
whom I don't know."
Hemley, whose eight books include
fiction and nonfiction subjects, began
his do-overs in 2006 with a summer
camp piece originally prepared as an

Robin Hemley

essay for New York magazine. The
other do-overs were finished by the
summer of 2007, and the entire manu-
script was completed six months later.
Most names of the people refer-
enced have been changed.
At the start, Hemley thought of
going through a bar mitzvah, but he
decided that it could not be considered
a do-over since his secular upbringing
had not allowed for one.
"I wanted this to be a book that
considered Jewish life says the author,
who has moved on to a novel with
Jewish themes. "I have a whole chapter
about Sigma Alpha Mu, the Jewish
fraternity
"[On a deeper level], what really
made this a Jewish project had to do
with the focus Jewish life has on being
a good person in the here and now
"As I was trying to find out who
I was and who I'd been, I hoped to
emerge as a better person in the here
and now, someone who learns from
his mistakes."
The author expresses his signature
sense of humor throughout each of
the do-overs, including senior prom.
Although failing to get a date for his
original prom, he won a second-time-
around chance with his high-school
crush after securing the approval of
their spouses.
"By examining closely what I
talk about in the book, I've come
to forgive myself for certain things
I thought were blemishes:' Hemley
says. "The whole process has been
very healthy."