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Celebrating special events with an older person may be just as good
for them as a monthly injection of vitamin B-12.

Ruthan Brodsky I Special to Celebrate!

o matter how we may feel about people, it benefits our brains as well
as the rest of our bodies to find connections to people we enjoy and to
keep them in our lives. This is especially true for the elderly.
Researchers found that older people who maintained their personal networks and
relationships were at less risk of Alzheimer's disease, for example, than elderly who are
reclusive.
Even those elderly who show Alzheimer's symptoms appear to be more protected the
larger their social network of friends and family.
Now we also know that healthy and frequent interactions with friends and family have a
very positive influence on how we age as well.
"My female first cousins and I have celebrated Aunt Bea's birthday for several years," explains
Hedy Blatt of Bloomfield Hills. "We make a brunch for her at one of our homes and spend the
time talking about what's going on in our families and reminiscing about the old days.
"If we make the event at Thanksgiving time, we get the out-of-state cousins to join us.
Last year, Bea turned 89. It's a wonderful time for all of us."
"Celebrating special events becomes enormously important as people get older," says
Dr. Leonard Rosen, geriatric psychiatrist and medical director of the Oakland County
Community Mental Health Authority. "Celebrating someone's 90th or 80th birthday is uplift-
ing for the celebrant because it brings meaning, relevance and importance to all that hap-
pened in their lives by bringing back the memories of things that happened along the way."
Rosalyn Stone's children made her special birthday very special. "Sons Kenny and Steve
Stone and their families first took her out to dinner at an important restaurant in Metro
Detroit," says Jill Stone of Bloomfield Hills. "Then they gave her a certificate, which detailed her
agenda for the rest of the celebration."
Rosalyn flew to California to meet her eldest son, Jeff, and the two of them spent a
couple of days together in Las Vegas, at the Bellagio Hotel.
"All of us need to be socially engaged," says Rozanne Sedler, geriatric social worker at
Jewish Family Service of Metropolitan Detroit.
"For older adults, it becomes more difficult
How To Celebrate The Elderly
for them to stay connected simply because
• Make a guest list of family and friends. Invite
it's physically harder to get around and the
only your friends who know the honoree well.
opportunities for family and friends start to
Invite the good friends of the celebrant and
shrink.
have one of the good friends help you with the
"Yet celebrating special events validates
list.
and gives meaning to their life."
• Send out invites and ask guests to RSVP.
Dee Dee Hoffman, event planner in West
When they respond, ask if they have photos
Bloomfield, says the best celebrations for an
of the person or couple to add to the collage
you're putting together. Get everyone involved
elderly person take place when the party is
in finding pictures that commemorate special
planned that fits the person's personality and
times.
interests.
• Find CDs with popular tunes from the honor-
"Take your time and be thoughtful about
ee's youth to play during the party.
what you're planning," says Hoffman. "We
planned an 80th birthday party for a woman
• Decorate with some historical events that took
place during their lifetime.
who loved art. She and her guests visited a
couple of galleries in Birmingham and then had
• Have a guest book on hand so everyone can
dinner at the Townsend Hotel. Music from the
write down their well wishes or sign their
name.
1930s and '40s was played. You don't want
loud, pounding music or too many surprises."
• Ask each guest to also bring a memory or two
Five years ago, Lori Wayne and her family
with them and share it with the other guests.
planned a surprise 80th birthday party for her
• Keep in mind health considerations and food
father, Jack Singer. "We had a limo chauffeur
preferences for your guests and guest of honor.
my dad and several close friends to dinner

B 4 2

celebrate!

March 2009

Aunt Bea's 89th birthday bash

and then to a casino in Detroit. We made favors for everyone and all had a great time. My
dad is now dealing with Parkinson's disease and lives at the Heritage of Southfield assisted liv-
ing. They have small, private rooms there which we use to celebrate his birthday with family."
Dr. Alicia Tisdale, clinical psychologist, says that most elderly are not looking for any
major celebrations. "Family dinners at home are meaningful when celebrating a special
event with an elderly person," says Tisdale.
"Having the adult children or grandchildren say a few words about their relationship
with their grandmother or father-in-law or dad may be even more appreciated than a gift.
Most people at age 80 aren't looking for gifts, unless it's something they need — like a new
vacuum cleaner to replace the one that broke."
Sometimes, all-inclusive family trips are planned to celebrate a special birthday. "It
takes a lot of planning and coordinating all the family, but a cruise works well when you
have an age spread among the family," says Suzy Kirschner, independent travel agent affili-
ated with Cadillac Travel.
"The nice thing about a cruise is that the elderly person can stay on the ship while other
family members join the excursions. On the other hand, there's no figuring out where and
when to have dinner together or what shows to attend."