Family Focus PARENTING/MAZEL TOVI Make Moving Easier Share concerns with family; check for programs for new students. uestion: I am in the eighth grade. My parents just told me my dad has to change jobs, which means that our family will have to move. To make matters worse, the new job is located in another state. I'll have to start a new school in January, and I don't know anyone! How can I make new friends and fit in when everyone else has been together since September? Q Answer: What seems scary now can become a new and exciting adventure for you and your family. Sometimes things that we worry about the most provide us with the greatest rewards. Check with your parents to see if it is pos- sible to visit your new school before winter break so that it will be more familiar to you when you start. Have your parents check to see if there are any programs specifically designed for new students. Check with the school counselor, too, as he/she can be very helpful in making you feel at ease. Also, see if there are any clubs, activi- ties or teams you can join. This is a great way to meet other kids your age who share similar interests. This move may be a stressful time for everyone in your family, including your parents, so try to be aware of this. Ask to have a family meeting where every- one can share feelings and concerns. Talking together is a great way to brain- storm and come up with ideas that will help ease the transition. Lastly, be sure to spend some time with friends and family before the move. Celebrate the connections you've made, while looking forward to the new ones you'll be making. Be sure to get phone numbers and e- mail addresses so that you'll be able to stay in touch. Remember that although this move may be difficult at first, it may also serve to strengthen the bond between your family members. Q: I have two children, one in the fourth grade and another in the seventh grade. I know my oldest is on Facebook and MySpace, but I now believe my youngest may be on those sites as well. I am worried about both of them, but am not sure how to handle this. I need some advice! A: As a parent, it is not only your right, but your responsibility to regularly monitor your children's use of the computer, especially the Internet. This includes knowing their passwords and the sites they visit. Set up firm rules and guidelines as to what is acceptable and unacceptable. Make sure the computer is located in a place where it is visible, and where you can monitor your children when they are using it. Although many seventh-grade chil- dren do visit sites like Facebook and MySpace, it doesn't' mean that you have to allow it if you're not comfortable with that. Fourth grade is much too young to be on those sites. These sites are easily accessible to all ages, and this is what makes them risky. Be honest with your children, shar- ing your feelings openly. Tell them that you are not "spying" on them or invad- ing their privacy, but that you will be checking on the sites they are visiting frequently, just to ensure their safety. This should be a non-negotiable option if they will be using the computer. Invest in software that permits you to have access to the sites your child visits as well as software that can deny access to various sites as needed. The Internet can be a wonderful resource, but it is also one that needs to be constantly and carefully monitored. ❑ Suzi Epstein of West Bloomfield is a longtime elementary counselor in the Birmingham Public Schools. She earned a master's in guidance and counseling and also has a private practice. Direct questions to SuziEpstein@gmail.com . C16 March 5 • 2009 Dec. 16 Brad and Beth Rosenberg of West Bloomfield are thrilled to announce the birth of the daughter, Emily Jane. She is the sis- ter of Ian, 5. Proud grandparents are Bob and Kay Weprin of Sylvania, Ohio, and David and Mardi Rosenberg of West Bloomfield. Nov. 5 Jill (Moskowitz) and Steven Ingber of Huntington Woods announce with much love the birth of their son, Jacob Harrison (Yosef Chaim). Ingber Proud grandparents are Barbara and Jay Moskowitz of Miami and Roberta and Paul Ingber of Farmington Hills. Jacob is named in Meredith Bess Berlin will be called to the Torah as bat mitzvah on Saturday, March 7, at Congregation Beth Shalom in Oak Park. She is the Berlin daughter of Ellen and Howard Berlin and big sister of Ian and Joey. Proud grandparents helping her celebrate will be Rosie and Mark Schlussel and Barbara and Albert Berlin. Meredith is a sixth-grade student at Norup International School in Oak Park. For her mitzvah project, she has been making blankets for needy chil- dren through the National Council of Jewish Woman. Alec Gray Chapman, son of Terri and Jerry Chapman and broth- er of Jacob and Ryan, will celebrate his bar mitzvah as he reads from the Torah at Chapman Temple Israel in West Bloomfield Saturday, March 7. Sharing in the simchah will be his proud grandparents Audrey and Clifford loving memory of his maternal great- great-grandfather, Joseph Goodman, his paternal great-great-grandfather, Jacob Ingber, and his paternal great- grandfather, Harold Ellias. Aug. 31 Erica (Auster) and Matthew Wikander of Grand Rapids are thrilled to announce the birth of their daughter, Eleanor Ruth. Wikander Ecstatic grandpar- ents are Marcia and Barry Auster of Farmington Hills and Barb and Craig Wikander of North Muskegon. Eleanor, whose Hebrew name is Simcha Ruth, is named in loving memory of her maternal great- grandmother, Selma Mazur, and her paternal great-grandmother, Ruth Vanderven. Chapman, Sandy Berman and Larry Berman. Alec attends Cranbrook Middle School in Bloomfield Hills. Among his many mitzvah projects, volunteer- ing at Yad Ezra in Berkley was the one he found most meaningful. Andrew Blackstone Colton will read from the Torah on the occasion of his bar mitzvah at Temple Israel in West Bloomfield Saturday, March Colton 7. He is the son of Courtney and Mark Colton and the brother of Brian and Chase: His proud grandparents are Elinor and Michael Blackstone and Gloria and Bruce Colton. His late great-grand- parents were Marjorie and Samuel Kaufman, Jane and William Sigmund, Edna and Kenneth Blackstone, Estelle and Manuel Gorman and Diane and Sol Colton. Andrew is a student at Derby Middle School in Birmingham. His most meaningful mitzvah project was participating in the Kids Helping Kids Charity Walk.