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1-11ONS IN CABINETRY

Recommended books:

Getting the Love You Want

By Harville Hendrix

00

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail

By John Gottman

for dinner?"
I know if my husband responded
to me in any of these ways, I would
feel hurt, frustrated, angry, misun-
derstood, diminished, talked down
to and totally unsupported.
How the tides would turn if
the husband said something like,
"Oh, sweetie, I can understand how
overwhelmed you must feel trying
to keep up with all the kids' activi-
ties. You do so much and are such
a devoted mom. How can I make
your life easier?"
In this example, the husband
did not criticize or lecture or try to
fix his wife. He was totally in her
world. Through his words, he lets
her know that he gets her, that he
sees things through her eyes, that
he understands she is frustrated by
her too busy life, and he wants to
help her.
Can you imagine her sigh of
relief at knowing her spouse is on
her team and in her world? Can
you imagine the tremendous love
she would feel for him?
Words are powerful. They can
heal and empower or hurt and
destroy. Criticizing, lecturing and
ignoring create a divide that after
time can be impossible to repair.
Kindness in actions and words cre-
ates loving relationships that bring
peace and healing and go a long
way to assuring a "happily ever
after."

Brenda Strausz is a psychotherapist,
hypnotherapist and relationship coach
who practices in the Metro Detroit
area. Contact her through www.
BrendaStrausz. corn or at
dearbrenn@aol. corn.

CH YO

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