can you relate? -t a - Yte *,5 248.851.5030 . ,retik 248.932.5253 Don't Forget Valentine's Day ! Saturday February 14th CHRIS KOLE TRUNK SHOW Happily Ever After Feburary 12th, 13th & 14th SP; BRENDA STRAUSZ We Buy Old Gold at Top Prices! Special savings for trunk sh • Rear Ends • Chico's • Ruby's Balm • Dakota Bread • Running Fit • Frames Unlimited • Stage Deli • Hersh's • Steven Franklin Optics • Stone's • Marguerite • New York Bagel • Sundance • Peek A Bootique ORCHARD LAKE ROAD I SOUTH OF MAPLE I WEST BLOOMFIELD • Zoe's Lace oyAey yolAy sweep .0 yaw SWE.E.1- 1E +-kis Votiewijole's Da y 1 Heokyi- skoweA 131rowiekie?, Coolgies & Ciie Cakes. oyAey by Zi? 1 77irce,ii;t:"." 248.626.9110 B 2 4 • FEBRUARY 2009 • IN platinwn Many of us grew up on fairytales. We thought the beautiful princess married the handsome prince, and they went off together to live hap- pily ever after. It was a rude awak- ening when we realized that man and woman do not live by "electric- ity" alone and that a good marriage takes hard work and effort. The couples I see in therapy are often not aware of how vital it is to treat their partners as beloved friends, to listen with their whole heart and respond with loving- kindness. When couples make a concerted effort to treat each other this way, their marital satisfaction greatly increases. Is it easy to listen with our whole hearts and respond with kindness? Not usually. Many of us were not treated that way as kids — we were much more familiar with being criticized, lectured or ignored. It would benefit our mari- tal relationship (and all our rela- tionships) if we learned and utilized good communication skills. Picture an imaginary married couple. The wife is complaining to her husband about how exhausted she is from trying to keep up with the kids and all their activities. The husband could respond in a num- ber of ways. He could say: "There you go complaining again. That's all you ever do," or "You should be grateful you have these kids. There are people who aren't able to have kids, you know," or "You just gotta do what you gotta do. So, what's