"She took great pride in her work and
really only stopped because the continu-
ing education requirement was going to
take away from her summer gardening;'
said Zechman's next-door neighbor, Julie
Montgomery.
Zechman is an inspiration to others in
their holiday planning. When she broke
her foot just before last Passover, Sider
stopped by to see if she needed any help.
"What I saw when I walked into her
home was an exquisite table already set for
the holiday, complete with crystal, china
and the most delicate little individual
dishes for salt water in front of each place
setting," Sider said. "She had not only
completed her cooking, but had also orga-
nized how she was planning to serve each
scrumptious dish. Her serving bowls and
plates were on the sideboard with little
labels in each stating the name of the dish
she planned on serving in it.
"I was so taken back by her meticulous
preparations and the beauty of her table
and home that I went back to my home
humbled and more prepared for my own
guests:"
Korelitz, too, is motivated by Zechman.
"I make a little visit before Rosh
Hashanah and Pesach to see her tables —
for inspiration:' she said. "In the midst of
my last Passover preparations, I needed a
break and took my dog for a walk to Bess'
house. It was just the inspiration I needed
to get me through to that night's seder. She
was so calm and lovely, and I took some of
that home with me."
'Aunt Bess' To All
With no grandchildren of her own,
Zechman's younger friends, like 4-year-old
Jacob Bronstein, refer to her as 'Aunt Bess."
"Jacob and Bess have a very special
relationship; he loves to go over to visit
her;' said Jacob's mom, Lisa Bronstein
of Huntington Woods. "When he was
younger, she would play peek-a-boo end-
lessly with him. She always has a tin filled
with his favorite cookies, and she insists
he needs one for each hand:'
Jacob invited "Aunt Bess" to the
Havdalah program at his Congregation
Shaarey Zedek's Beth Hayeled nursery
school class and to his swim lesson. "She
sat right on the deck and watched his les-
son the entire time Bronstein said."
When Sherizen's daughter broke her leg
skiing, Zechman had a book delivered to
keep her happy and occupied while recu-
perating.
One of the first things Enid Grauer's b-
and 8-year-old granddaughters did when
visiting her this summer was ask to see
Zechman.
"She always fusses over them and wants
to know everything they're doing;' said
family.
"Bess comes from a large, closely knit
family;' Montgomery said. "When her two
unmarried sisters became unable to live
on their own, she took them into her home
and got professional home care when they
needed it while she was working. And
she's totally devoted to her only child, son
Neil, and he, in turn, is the epitome of the
dedicated son:'
Zechman agreed, "I have one son — but
a good one:' Her husband, Manuel, passed
away 32 years ago.
Bess Zechman and her son Neil
Grauer of Huntington Woods. "Sometimes,
they sing songs or paint fingernails —
perfectly delightful ways to share happy
moments. This is just what she did with
my children when they were young."
Said Mongomery,"My
,
children no
longer have living great-grandpar-
ents and Bess has been the best fill-in
imaginable. She's interested in every
aspect of their lives and gives them
important perspective about her challeng-
es and choices as a young woman growing
up and finding her way in the world and
about working in downtown Detroit. Her
fierce independence, I hope, is an inspira-
tion to these 21st-century children.
"The previous owners of our house had
young children when they moved in 1990,
and they still come to visit as young ladies
in their 20s," she said.
"Bess adopted us when we moved into
the house next door to hers in Huntington
Woods in 1985:' said Gail Pabarue, who
now lives in Montana. "We were new to
the Detroit area, and our parents were in
Pennsylvania and Ohio. At the time, we
had a 2-year-old, Emily, who decided that
Aunt Bess was the best "surrogate" grand-
mother any little girl could have'
Their relationship continues, despite the
distance.
"My mother, who moved to Detroit in
2001, passed away this summer," Pabarue
said. "It was Aunt Bess to whom I turned
on a Sunday afternoon this past July when
Mom was in the hospital, not getting bet-
ter, and I was feeling so sad and alone. She
was there to comfort and to cheer me up.
Aunt Bess became so much more than
a neighbor; she is simply a wonderful
friend."
Zechman also is close with her own
Giving And Sharing
"People are very gracious and invite me to
their homes, but I prefer to do all the holi-
days at my house Zechman said. "It's fun
and, thank God, the dear Lord has given
me the energy to do it."
But she does allow others to share in the
cooking.
"Every year, I bake challah for Bess for
the holidays and, in return, she gives me
gefilte fish for Pesach:' said Glenn Mellow
of Huntington Woods.
Learning about one another's holidays
also is shared, including visiting the
Montgomery's Christmas tree next door
each year.
"When [my kids] were small, she
would get them Easter baskets;' Julie
Montgomery said. "She takes great plea-
sure from giving. She appreciates life in all
its variety and simple pleasures: a garden,
pretty lights, the conversation of children,
the joy of a good meal shared with friends
and family."
Zechman's friends are impressed with
her nonchalant attitude toward all the
things she does so well.
"It's funny, she tells me how much she
admires 'you young girls' doing the holi-
days and working, but she has been doing
it all along:' Korelitz said. "She worked and
raised a son and kept a beautiful home,
and did it with such feminine grace."
Added Grauer, "Bess is the most posi-
tive person I have ever had the pleasure
of knowing. Things that would bother you
and me are taken in stride, laughed off
with a 'Whatever!' and life moves on."
Sherizen said, "The most wonderful
thing about her is how many lives she
touches. She has a revolving door; people
are visiting 'Aunt Bess' all the time."
"Her circle of friends is very large
because she truly cares about people
Grauer said. A little picture in her house
says, `To have a friend — be a friend; and
Bess takes that very seriously." ❑
Bess uses a spoon to shape perfect piece of gefilte fish.
September 25 • 2008
B3