Opinion
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Editorial
Power Of Hope
A
'though autumn has barely begun,
Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new
year, already seems enveloped by
the fog and shadows that mark the height of
the fall season.
The presidential campaign has left many
Jewish voters vaguely dissatisfied with the
choice of candidates. An election that once
seemed to hold promises of a fresh begin-
ning has slowly settled down to the familiar
muck and mire of the past.
Israel's majority party Kadima, is choos-
ing its third leader in three years. That new
leader, Tzipi Livni, also has promised a break
from the politics of the recent past that
forced Ehud Olmert to resign.
Whoever succeeds Olmert will be con-
fronted with an increasingly belligerent Iran,
which seems to be drawing doser to a newly
assertive Russia.
The sickening slide on Wall Street and the
crisis in the mortgage market has stunned
millions of people who believed their future
was secure beyond question.
The auto industry, for so many years the
bellwether of American prosperity, has taken
a series of massive hits. On its 100th anniver-
sary, General Motors, once the largest corpo-
ration in America, was assailed with doubts
about its very survival. Along with Ford and
Chrysler, GM had to ask for a government
bailout.
So the way ahead seems unclear in this
season of mists. But all of these negatives
overlook one important fact.
To be an American and a Jew at this point
of history is to be part of two of the most
resilient peoples on the planet.
Americans still believe at the core of their
being that everything is going to come out
all right. It is part of the national identity.
Things may look bleak for a while, but the
sun will come out tomorrow.
While we may wonder what the future
holds, we still face it with an incurable sense
of optimism. Meanwhile, millions more from
around the world are clamoring at the gates
to share our experience, and there is no great
rush for the exits.
This also is the most prosperous and
secure Jewish community existing anywhere.
While our history may lead us to expect the
worst, the Jewish people have never lost the
ability to hope. It has sustained us through
the millennia.
So if a new year demands a theme, maybe
hope is the most appropriate for 5769.
Hope that a new president will actually
DryBonesBlog.com
deliver on promises for change and remain
firmly committed to Israel.
Hope that Israel can reconstruct its politi-
cal system and produce a leader who will
know how to balance confrontation and
accommodation with its enemies.
Hope that the worst of the mortgage melt-
down is behind us and a chastened financial
community will behave more responsibly.
Hope that new technologies will bring
about a renaissance in the automotive indus-
try and help rid us of our dependence on
imported oil.
Is that too much to hope for? Maybe it's
only a start. ❑
Feeling Like An Outsider
A
t the Rosh Hashanah and Yom
Kippur services of most congre-
gations, the participants seem
to be well-dressed and well-connected.
Especially when the congregants are
singing or speaking in unison, it looks as
though the gathered multitude is joined
together as one.
But looks can be deceiving.
As a psychologist who for many years
has counseled thousands of Jews of all
ages before and after the High Holidays,
I've found that these Days of Awe tend to
bring up a fascinating variety of compli-
cated and important emotions, such as:
• A sense of loss that someone you
sat with previously is no longer there.
It might be a loved one who died, or a
former spouse or lover who's now become
distant, or a family member who no lon-
ger wants to be part of this congregational
gathering.
•A sense of insecurity that your life
isn't progressing as you hoped it would.
Whether you've had financial setbacks,
romantic disappointments or physical
setbacks, you might be feeling at the High
.
Holidays that you've fallen off the
path you had hoped would be a
smoother ride.
• Comparison thoughts to
someone who seems to have it
all together. Surrounded by the
larger community at the High
Holiday services often means
running into your impeccably
groomed friend or relative who
always makes the rest of us feel
one-down. Or someone whose
well-behaved and brilliant kids make you
feel self-conscious about your own com-
plicated children. Or someone who easily
found a great partner in life even while
you remain alone and searching.
• Mixed feelings about being in a for-
mal synagogue service. Especially for the
many Jews who rarely attend Shabbat ser-
vices during the rest of the year, there is a
feeling of outsiderness and discomfort as
a result of being outnumbered by people
who seem to know the prayers, rituals and
melodies with so much familiarity. In fact,
I've heard from many "twice-a-year Jews"
that they spend a sizeable portion of the
High Holiday services won-
dering if the rabbi, the cantor
and the frequent temple-
goers might be judging them
for being so estranged from
the community much of the
year.
• The essential
Jewishness of these mixed
feelings. Even though many
people feel self-conscious
or "insufficiently holy" as a
result of having some of the ambivalent
feelings described above, in fact Jewish
tradition (especially at the High Holidays)
honors and welcomes these essential
human struggles.
Even our name as a people, "Yisra-El,"
literally means "the people who wrestle
with the Ultimate One."
Also, in the Talmud (Berachot 34b), it
says that the holiest place is reserved for
those who are somewhat broken or who
sometimes miss the mark, and that only
the person who is struggling with human
imperfections can stand in the holiest place
of importance where the completely righ-
teous person is not privileged to stand.
So this year at the High Holidays, be
aware that Jewish tradition (and most
psychotherapists) suggest you bring your
imperfections, your ambivalence, your
comparisons and your sense of loss or
brokenness to stand fully present in the
company of others who are also human,
imperfect and seeking to grow. You might
focus on the fact that nearly every soul
in the room is longing to connect with
a deeper sense of meaning, connection,
repair and a love that transcends all limits.
To help you (or a hesitant family mem-
ber or friend) to deepen one's personal
experience of the High Holiday services,
here are three quick things you can do
whenever you are feeling alienated, self-
conscious, distracted, bored or like a
flawed outsider at this year's gatherings:
• Find a word or phrase in the
holiday prayer book that lifts you up,
moves you, angers you, offends you,
comforts you, confuses you or makes
you curious and reflective. For at least
a minute or two, let this phrase or word
Feeling like on page A74
September 25 a 2008
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