Spirituality

INTERFAITH

TORAH PORTION

Accept, Welcome
Interfaith Families

Be Mindful
Of The Land

Ann Arbor

Shabbat Bechukotai: Leviticus 26:3-
27:34; Jeremiah 16:19-17:14.

M

any opponents of inter-
marriage argue that inter-
faith families statistically
do not raise their children as Jews as
frequently as inmarried families. They
are correct. However, how
much attention has been
paid to answer the ques-
tion as to why this is true?
Recent studies have exam-
ined this very issue, and the
results have opened a lot
of eyes. What the reports
have found is that raising
a Jewish family depends
more on the Jewish involve-
ment of the parents and
less on their act of inter-
marriage.
As a Protestant dad helping to
raise a Jewish family, I am not one bit
surprised by the results. I read about
these studies and kept muttering to
myself, "I could have told you that."
In March 2008, Boston's Combined
Jewish Philanthropies (CJP) released
its study which found that the Jewish
partner's Jewish background and
education played a significant role in
raising the children Jewish.
I see this in practice all around
me. I am friends with some inter-
faith couples who are not involved in
Jewish life and do not actively involve
their children in Judaism. I also know
plenty of inmarried couples, where
both spouses are Jewish and do not
participate one iota in Judaism. Then
there are the interfaith couples I know
where the Jewish spouse has a strong
Jewish background. Not only are they
raising their children as Jews, attend-
ing synagogue services and sending
their children to Hebrew school; but
the non-Jewish spouse often lives
Jewishly, as well.
The CJP report also found that
intermarried families raising their
kids as Jews statistically behaved like
inmarried Jewish families when it
comes to Jewish practice. When you
compare apples to apples, you don't
see much of a difference once a couple
makes the decision to raise the chil-
dren as Jews. Roughly seventy percent
of the children brought up in both

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May 22 • 2008

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groups become a bar or bat mitzvah.
Again, it's the commitment to raising a
Jewish family that really makes a dif-
ference — not whether the couple is
intermarried or inmarried.
What helps the interfaith couple
decide on a life steeped in Judaism,
though? While the Jewish
background and educa-
tion of the Jewish spouse
is very important, it is not
the only factor. The CJP's
research showed that an
initial feeling of welcome in
the Jewish community also
was critical. Many couples
say that a rabbi's refusal
to officiate their wedding
deterred them from joining
a synagogue and raising
Jewish children. Logically
and emotionally, this makes sense.
How many people would feel com-
fortable in an organization where
the initial response is rejection? By
not marrying the couple, a rabbi and
his or her congregation is essentially
implying, "We don't approve, and you
are not qualified."
So what is the bottom line of these
recent studies? The focus should not
be on trying to prevent intermarriage,
but on encouraging Jewish participa-
tion of intermarried (and inmarried)
couples. It's nearly impossible to
keep two people from falling in love.
Intermarriage is difficult to stave off
in today's world. The days of people
from different backgrounds keeping to
themselves are long gone due to inte-
grated neighborhoods and a transient
workforce.
A more practical and effective
approach would be to ramp up out-
reach programming. Offer ways for
intermarried couples to learn about
and feel welcome inside Judaism.
Rather than shun those who inter-
marry, invite them. Help the Jewish
spouse continue his or her Jewish life,
and thus, embrace the rest of the fam-
ily into Judaism. ❑

Jim Keen is a freelance writer and col-
umnist for InterfaithFamily.com . He is

the author of Inside Intermarriage: A

Christian Partner's Perspective on Raising
a Jewish Family (URJ Press).

I

n this week's Torah portion, we
The land of Israel continued to be
have a promise of blessing if
such a crossroads of empires and civi-
we keep the laws of the Torah
lizations throughout human history.
and a warning, called the tochecho in
Traders and the Crusades brought the
Hebrew, of the dire consequences of
Europeans to the land of Israel to war
not keeping the laws of the
with the Muslims during
Torah.
the Middle Ages. Napoleon
Among the blessings is
fought there and even dur-
the verse (Leviticus 26:6):
ing World War I the Middle
"And I will give peace in the
East was in contention.
land and you will lie down
In modern times, the
and not be afraid and I will
states in the Middle East,
cause wild animals to cease
especially Israel, were
from the land and a sword
players (or pawns) in the
shall not pass through your
rivalry of the major pow-
land."
Rabbi Eliezer
ers during the Cold War.
The Midrash Halachah
Cohen
With the advent of the
(Sifro-Bechukotai: 9) answers
Special to the
modern State of Israel and
the implied question: If
Jewish News
the importance of Middle
there is peace in the land
Eastern oil to the rest of the
why should there be a sword
world, Israel is still at the
passing through? The Midrash explains: center of world conflict. The land of
"It goes without saying that none will
Israel has experienced more war than
come against you in war, but (it means
any other piece of real estate in the
that) even those who are only passing
world. (What irony that God promised
through from one country to another
peace in the land, and, in fact, that the
like in the days of Josiah."
name of its capital is Jerusalem, mean-
The Talmud (Taanis 22A-B) fur-
ing "City of Peace.")
ther expands upon this Midrash and
It seems to me that God promised
explains that foreign armies will not
the Jewish people this most important
even pass through the land as in the
of lands to enable us to come in con-
days of King Josiah when the Egyptian tact with the rest of the world and to
army, on its way to attack Assyria,
be examples to and to influence them
went through Judah and King Josiah
as, indeed, we Jews have in an inordi-
was killed (see Chronicles 11:35).
nate way, when living on the land or in
God's promise is that if the Jewish
exile from it. God has promised that
people keep His laws then they will
if we fulfill our obligation to create
not be exposed to warfare in any way.
the just and holy society commanded
Given the realities of geography and
by the Torah to the benefit and bet-
world history, this promise is, indeed,
terment of all (including "our neigh-
remarkable.
bors"), then the vision of ultimate and
God gave Abraham and his descen-
absolute peace will be realized.
dents, the Jewish people, a small plot
of land, in size relatively negligible
Eliezer Cohen is rabbi of Congregation
and in resources not particularly
Or Chadash in Oak Park.
notable; but this little piece of real
estate has been the center of war and
strife throughout human history. This
Conversations
particular piece of land is the corridor
Was the geographical impor-
connecting Asia, Europe and Africa
tance of the land of Israel simply
and was the crossroads through which
a coincidence? How have Jews
ancient civilizations — Sumeria,
– in the land and outside of it
Egypt, Babylonia, Assyria, Greece,
– influenced the world? How
Persia, Rome and others — made
could compliance with the Torah
contact, for peace or for war, with each
bring real peace?
other.

❑