can you relate?

Local therapist Brenda Strausz
helps solve your relating problems.

After years of trying to work out our
differences, my husband and I are divorcing.
Our two kids, ages 6 and 9, are very upset
about this. Any suggestions?
— Readerfi-otn Southfield

Dear Southfield ready;
Divorce can be very difficult for children. You
have probably heard this a hundred times, but
it is crucial that you reassure your children over
and over that this has nothing to do with them
— it is not their fault. You and Daddy have
tried hard but cannot get along well enough to
live together. Emphasize that you both still love
them very much — and that your divorce has
nothing to do with your love for them.
It is vital that divorced parents learn how to
function as a cooperative team. For the sake of
your children, you must make every effort to rise above any bitterness either of
you may be feeling. The best thing to do right now is to sit down together and
write up a parenting plan based on what is best for the children. This should
include issues such as how much time the children will spend with each parent
and where the children will spend holidays and birthdays.
Encourage your children to talk about their fears and worries. Self-care in the
form of regular exercise, time with friends and eating healthy foods, for example,
will help your own mood and therefore benefit your children. Divorce support
groups are offered throughout the metro area (for parents and children) and can
be immensely helpfid. Good luck during this difficult transition.

ROCHESTER, MI 48307
WWW.MARIASBRIDAL.COM
248-652-6610

1",83070

RECOMMENDED READING:
Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way by M. Gary Neuman

I am 21 years old. In my dating relationships, I've always seemed to only
be happy when spending time with my boyfriend. I even dressed and acted the
way I thought he wanted me to. I am confused about this — please help!
— Readerfi-om Royal Oak

Dear Royal Oak reader,
It sounds like you may be lacking a sense of identity and self-confidence. Maybe
you grew up feeling you had to make your family and friends happy. You may
never have figured out your true self or learned that you are important, too.
Possibly you need to spend some time exploring what you are all about. Ask your-
self: What kind of people do I like? What kind of music, books, clothing and
food do I prefer? What were my favorite classes in school? What hobbies do I
want to pursue? What values do I hold dear? What things make me laugh, cry
and rejoice? The answers to these questions are the beginning of your journey of
self-discovery
Living your life to make another person happy is a sure route to disaster. You
are the face you have to look at in the mirror every morning. A strong man will
appreciate a woman who knows herself and is true to herself. Don't count on any-
one else to fill you up" but instead be the source of your own fulfillment. Good luck on
your journey!

RECOMMENDED READING:
Self Matters: Creating Your Life fi-om the Inside Out by Dr. Phil McGraw

ELEGANT BAR MITZVAH AND BAT MITZVAH
CELEBRATIONS IN THE REFINED AMBIENCE
OF THE SKYLINE CLUB

Just north of downtown Detroit, The Skyline Club is a premier luxury
location for sophisticated, once-in-a-lifetime events. Exquisitely situated
on the 28th floor of Tower 2000 in Southfield Town Center; the club
offers alluring metropolitan views and an extensive slate of services,
including event planning, luxury embellishments,
custom menus, and anything else you may require.
Simply reserve a private room, communicate
your desires to our sta , relax, and enjoy this
precious moment. You'll be proud to host family
and friends in such posh ambience.

Contact Kelly SchoOr Private Events Director, at kelly.schaeftr@ourclub.comfor information.
2000 Town Center, Ste. 2800 • Southfield 1V1148075 • 248.350.9898 • 1.07.41W. TheSkylineClub. con;

E-mail your questions at relate@thejewishnews. corn.

JN platinum

• M

AY 2008

• B 2 5