Mazel Toy!

FAMILY FOCUS/PARENTING

Raising Mentshes

M

y daughter's preschool class
just wrapped up Community
Helper Week — five full days
of learning about everyone from auto
mechanics to zookeepers. It seemed only
natural, there-
fore, that I hit
her up with the
ultimate Jewish
parent question
at Shabbat din-
ner. "So, Emma,
what do you want
to be when you
grow up?"
"Half astro-
Sharon Duke
naut,
half bal-
Estroff
lerina,
half movie
Jewish Parenting
star," she replied
without miss-
ing a beat. Then she turned the tables on
me. "Mommy, what do you want me to be
when I grow up?"

Taken aback, I debated my answer. No
matter what route I considered, however,
nothing seemed to do this question — or
my daughter — justice. Fortunately, I had
a magical mommy moment. I suddenly
understood the question was a no-brainer
with a clear answer.
So I said, "Emma, when you grow up I
want you to be a mentsh:'
Of course, my revelation was hardly
profound. The edict of raising mentshlich
children is interwoven throughout the
Torah and Talmudic thought. But caught
up in the stresses of 21st-century family
life, it's easy to lose sight of the long-term
goals we hold for our children. By work-
ing to instill the following fundamental
Jewish principles in our kids (adapted
from Jewish Every Day: The Complete
Handbook for Early Childhood Teachers by
Maxine Handelman), we can help ensure
that one day our children embody the very
values and mentshlekeit that have kept our

people growing strong for generations.
Kavod (respect). Straight from
Commandment No. 5, comes honor thy
mother and father. Kids should be taught
to extend kavod to all people who touch
their lives, not just mom and dad.
Tzedakah. This fundamental Jewish
value implies a basic responsibility to do
justice (tzedek) by sharing our resources
with the community. Encourage them to
put a small portion of their allowance in
the pushke on Shabbat or to give a few
gently used toys to the needy at Chanukah.
Tikkun Olam (Repairing the World).
This mitzvah reflects the reciprocal rela-
tionship that God established with human
beings: It is our obligation to take care
of the Earth, and in turn, it takes care of
us. Picking up trash at the playground,
watering flowers and helping to care for
household pets all build a sense of envi-
ronmental menschlekeit in kids.
Gratitude. It's no coincidence that the

Modeh Ani (a proclamation of gratitude)
is one of the first prayers a Jewish child
learns and the first prayer we say each
morning; gratefulness is a fundamen-
tal Jewish value. True gratitude, how-
ever, encompasses more than obligatory
thanks; it entails hakarat hatov, or recog-
nition of the good [another has done you].
Gemilut Hasadim (acts of lovingkind-
ness). In Judaism, doing good deeds is not
just a nice thing to do — it is what we do.
Children may exhibit lovingkindness by
sharing toys or inviting a lonely classmate
to join the four-square game at recess.
Slicha (saying I'm sorry). Menschlekeit
isn't just about sweetness and light; it's
also about owning up to our transgres-
sions.

❑

Sharon Duke Estroff is an internationally syndi-

cated Jewish parenting columnist, award-win-
ning Jewish educator and mother of four.

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C24 April 17 • 2008

