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ON THE COVER
Get. Happier!
Start 2008 on a positive note.
How to find happiness and make it a presence in your life.
Suzanne Chessler
Special to the Jewish News
I
f the traditional greeting at this time of year were in
keeping with the outlook of psychologist and author Tal
Ben-Shahar, it would have to be a bit different. Instead
of expressing wishes for a "Happy New Year," he probably
would prefer expressing wishes for a year happier than the
last one.
Ben-Shahar, entrenched in the emerging field of positive
psychology, is devoting his career to helping people in their
quest for happiness.
The Israeli teacher and researcher, a college and corpo-
rate lecturer whose class has become the most popular in
Harvard University history, advises students in new ways to
think about happiness and strengthen its presence in their
lives.
Ben-Shahar introduces his theories and thought exercises
to a wider audience with his new book, Happier: Learn the
Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment (McGraw Hill;
$21.95). His text joins many other books by Jewish authors
delving into the how of finding happiness in the new year
and beyond.
"We can all become happier," says Ben-Shahar, 37, whose
own search for happiness began at age 16 when he won the
national squash championship in Israel and found that his
upbeat feelings took a quick downturn.
"I did not want to leave the experience of happiness to
chance and therefore sought to define and understand it. A
better understanding of the nature of happi-
ness — and, more important, apply-
ing certain ideas — can help most
people in most situations become
happier.
"People have their ups and downs,
but I want to give them more tools
to deal with the hardships. Becoming
happier is a lifelong pursuit. I'm hap-
pier today than I was five years ago, and
I hope to be even happier five years from
now than I am today!"
Ben-Shahar, who returns to Boston for
the start of a new semester in January, sum-
marizes what he actually wishes people in
2008 by pointing out the need for individuals to appreciate
what they have, allot more routine time to savor the experi-
ences they enjoy and find activities to share with people
they love.
"The No. 1 predictor of well-being is close, loving rela-
tionships, whether with a romantic partner, family mem-
bers and/or close friends:" the psychologist says.
Ben-Shahar can relate his ideas to Judaism, particularly
in terms of feeling gratitude and finding time for relaxation.
"Prayers involve expressions of gratitude for many of
our actions, and there are lots of studies about the effects
of gratitude he explains. "People who keep gratitude jour-
nals and regularly say thanks for the things they have in
"IT IS EASY TO SEE HOW THIS IS THE BACKBONE OF
THE MOST POPULAR COURSE AT HARVARD TODAY."
—MARTIN E. P. SELIGMAN, author of Authentic Happiness
H AP PIE R
7AL BEN-SHAHAR, Ph.D.
a
"The No. 1 predictor of well-being is close, loving rela-
tionships, whether with a romantic partner, family
members and/or close friends," writes Tal Ben-Shahar
in Happier.
their lives are happier, more successful and even physically
healthier.
"Shabbat is a day off, and more and more research is
showing the importance of recovery time, down time. There
is no better day for recovery time than Shabbat."
More Ways
Abraham Twerski, a rabbi and psychiatrist, prescribes spiri-
tual nutrients as the way to happiness in any year.
"My point is that, to be truly happy, we need to live as
spiritual beings:' says Twerski, author of Happiness and the
Human Spirit: The Spirituality of Becoming the Best You Can
Be (Jewish Lights Publishing; $19.99).1 propose that every
person can be spiritual, regardless of the degree or even
presence of formal religion."
Twerski suggests taking successive steps to reach happi-
ness: being aware of shortcomings, taking charge of behav-
ior, realizing that change is a slow process, looking for ways
to overcome negative traits, cultivating enjoyable spiritual
experiences, considering the relative importance of things,
avoiding what can be inimical to spirituality, laughing more,
working against feeling discouraged and realizing there is
never an end to growth.
Charles Haddad, an international businessman, became
president of his New Jersey congregation and wrote essays
for his synagogue newsletter and a Sephardic magazine. He
wanted to communicate his thoughts about establishing a
positive outlook.
Haddad, who compiled his essays for the book Being
Happy a Day at a Time (Devora Publishing; $18.95), stresses
the importance of improving attitude, learning by observ-
ing, negotiating and not taking bad encounters personally.
"If there is any new year's resolution that I can recom-
mend, it would be that we try to have a better understand-
ing of the next person;' he says. "A simple smile or a friendly
hello ... costs nothing. The real return is on [the] invest-
ment."
Rabbi Jennifer Krause believes the path to happiness is
found separately as each person examines
his or her outlook by answering
some questions. She wants people
to probe their fears, goodness,
growing-up experiences, friends,
values and whatever they feel is
missing from their lives.
"We need to be free to explore and
arrive at our deepest-held beliefs with-
out being threatened, duped or terrified
into getting there says Krause, author
of The Answer: Making Sense of Life, One
Question at a Time (Perigee; $23.95). "The
greater puzzle of living can never be corn-
plete with one tradition, one approach or
by relying on one 'expert' to fill in the blanks."
Bioethics professor Stephen Post and writer Jill Neimark
believe that happiness comes from giving. They outline
ways to give in their book Why Good Things Happen to
Good People: The Exciting New Research That Proves the
Link Between Doing Good and Living a Longer, Healthier,
Happier Life (Broadway Books; $23.95).
Heading up the list of recommended pursuits is celebra-
tion, humor and creativity.
"Giving is the one kind of love you can count on because
you can always choose it," Post says. "It's always within your
power to give, and giving will protect you your whole life
long." II
December 27 • 2007 Cl