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December 13 • 2007

Intermarriage?

Rabbis' books say lack of Jewish
education is a main cause.

Susan Tawil
Special to the Jewish News

everything from the purpose of life to
the basics of Jewish belief to an overview
of practical problems in mixed mar-
now— with all your heart
riages. The rabbi candidly writes about
— that it is not hypocritical
the problems involved in "conversions of
to oppose intermarriage, no
convenience,' the "cruelty that [interfaith
matter what your per-
couples] will be inflicting on
sonal religious lifestyle
their future children',' and the
has been."
"disservice" done by organiza-
So says Rabbi
tions "formed to create a com-
Avraham Jacobovitz
fort level for [intermarried]
of Oak Park in his new
couples.
book, Perfect Strangers:
Misconceptions about
Redefining Intermarriage
love are addressed, wherein
(Feldheim Publishers).
Jacobovitz differentiates
With rates of Jewish
between true love, based on
intermarriage now hov-
giving, and "ice cream love,'
ering around 50 percent, Rabbi Jacobovitz
the "taking" type of relation-
Jacobovitz is one of two
ship the rabbi sees as nothing
rabbis with ties to Detroit
more than self-gratification.
who have written books
"What is most important is
to combat this trend.
what the person will get out of
The other book, Dear
the relationship with the other
Rabbi, Why Can't I Marry
party. No wonder those rela-
Her? A dialogue on
tionships break down entirely,'
Intermarriage (Targum
he says.
Press, 2006) is by Rabbi
Jacobovitz calls intermar-
Eliezer Shemtov, who has
riage "a contradiction in
six sons studying at the
terms': stating that "no legal
Rabbi Shemtov
Lubavitch yeshivah here.
marriage relationship comes
Both authors approach
into existence" with an inter-
the topic of intermarriage as a religiously marriage. He defines marriage as "a
forbidden, untenable situation, each
bond between the two components of a
developing clear and logical arguments.
larger soul." An intermarriage, the join-
Jacobovitz, a native of Tel Aviv, has
ing of two people with "different spiritual
lived in Detroit since 1977, doing out-
destinies ... never achieves the purpose
reach to unaffiliated Jews, especially on
of a true marriage ... [it] is like trying to
Michigan college campuses. He currently merge a philharmonic orchestra with a
serves as director of the Jewish Learning football team:'
Network of Michigan (Machon L'Torah),
Likewise in Dear Rabbi, Why Can't I
Jewish Awareness America (JAAM) and
Marry Her? Rabbi Shemtov states:"...
the Eliyahoo College Outreach Network.
there is really no such thing as marriage
In Perfect Strangers, Jacobovitz tackles between a Jew and a non-Jew, just like
what he sees as the key issues contribut-
there is no marriage between siblings."
ing to the intermarriage problem: igno-
Marriage is a spiritual concept, defined
rance of Judaism and a misunderstand-
by the Torah, and as such, must adhere
ing of the concepts of love and marriage. to the Torah's restrictions.
"How can a Jewish man or woman
Shemtov is a Chabad Lubavitch sha-
contemplating marriage make an
liach (emissary). Since 1985, he has lived
informed decision on intermarriage
with his family in Montevideo, Uruguay,
when most Jews don't know what it
where he was sent by the Lubavitcher
means to be a Jew?" he asks. "How can we Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson to
discuss the deep concept of Jewish mar-
strengthen the Jewish community.
riage when the sanctity of marriage itself
His book records the entirety of actual
has been trivialized and often utterly
online correspondence from his Web
debased by the society around us?"
site, www.askmoses.com , held with two
In succinct form, interspersed with
gentiles in love with and wishing to
parables and anecdotes from the rabbi's
marry Jews. With sensitivity but frank-
college programs, the book covers
ness, Rabbi Shemtov discusses with

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