Li fe
is measured in moments...
C NT.
"Juan" and "Alejandro" such concerns
as their feelings of rejection by their
partners' Jewish parents. He tells
them "they are not behaving this way
out of anger or disdain, but out of
pain, fear and frustration ... It has
nothing to do with you personally:'
He explains why intermarriage is
improper, even though none of the
concerned parties is "religious" and
compares the relationship to that of
a bird and a fish who admire and
befriend each other: "It is self-under-
stood that this relationship can func-
tion only as long as they are both on
the surface, without expressing their
respective natures."
Other topics examined include
the option of halachic (Jewish law)
conversion and the problematic real-
ity of raising children within a mixed
marriage.
The book's format using e-mail
letters is enjoyable. It is interesting to
see how the issues are considered and
grappled with through the eyes of the
non-Jewish partner and to witness
the effect on their relationships in the
course of the online discussions. Both
ultimately break up with their Jewish
partners, and, as Alejandro tellingly
writes,"... it's better that it happened
now rather than later:'
Shemtov's e-mail conversations are
appended by an essay on intermar-
riage, wherein the rabbi explains the
biblical source of the prohibition
(Deuteronomy 7:3), explains concepts
of marriage and Jewishness, and, like
Jacobovitz, decries lack of Jewish edu-
cation as "the root of the problem:'
"The compatibility ... that a
Jewish boy can find in a non-Jewish
girl is often a result of the fact that
he has been deprived of a true
Jewish education to the point that he
has become spiritually 'atrophied,"
Shemtov writes.
As in Jacobovitz's Perfect Strangers,
Shemtov's Dear Rabbi also defends
the resistance of non-observant
parents to the prospect of a child's
intermarriage: "... their opposition
to their son's intermarriage is not
incoherent nor hypecriticalit is a
natural reaction that stems from the
depths of their sour'
As Jacobovitz notes, although
"open opposition to intermar-
riage is declining these days ... the
absence of vehement opposition ...
does not signify acceptance either."
Intermarriage remains a top concern
to the continuity of the Jewish people,
and these two books do an admirable
job addressing this critical issue. I I
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December 13 • 2007
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