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scholar and former head of Edah, an
organization that promoted Modern
Orthodox values.
Indeed, no serious Modern Orthodox
Jew is unaware of the tensions between
upholding Torah law and recognizing
the values and benefits of Western
democratic ideals. Rabbi Berman cred-
its Feldman with pointing out the need
to explore such tensions, which when
unrecognized or out of balance can
produce an Amir of Goldstein. "But it's
not fair to judge the system" by such
aberrations, he maintains.

Psychic Pains

In the end, Feldman's essay is less
about Modern Orthodoxy than about
his own psychic pain over being reject-
ed. He wants it all: to be embraced if
not applauded by the Jewish commu-
nity whose values he has discarded by
marrying out.
As Rabbi Jacob J. Schacter, senior
scholar at Yeshiva University's Center
for the Jewish Future, noted in a let-
ter sent to the Times, "Fealty to Jewish
tradition requires more than a 'mind-
set' expressing 'respect and love' for
its teachings; it presupposes certain
fundamental normative behaviors.
America is a country of choices, but
choices have consequences and not
every choice is equal.
"It is unrealistic for Mr. Feldman to
expect to maintain good standing in a
community whose core foundational
behavioral — as well as value — sys-
tem he has chosen to reject."
Judaism is not alone in this attitude.
Witness, for example, the Catholic
Church's discomfort with former
New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, a
divorced Catholic who favors abortion
rights, or any religious faith's attitudes
toward members who publicly violate
its tenets.
But Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, author
and television personality from
"Shalom in the Horne cautions against
alienating some of our best and bright-
est Jews who marry out. Boteach has
been a friend of Feldman's since he
served as a rabbi at Oxford University,
where Feldman studied for two years
in the early 1990s.
In an essay in the Jerusalem Post
this week, Boteach says that in addi-
tion to the "ethical and humanitarian
considerations" regarding ostracizing
those who intermarry, the approach is
ineffective with intermarriage rates so
high. He argues that the community

has a far better chance of winning over
the non-Jewish spouse and the Jewish
partner through welcoming behavior
rather than shunning the couple.
This inreach vs. outreach debate has
been part of the American Jewish land-
scape for a number of years, but there
are those who suggest a more nuanced
approach.
"There is a difference between a
personal and a communal response
to intermarrieds," noted one Jewish
educator who knows Feldman from
the Maimonides School. It's one thing,
he said, to have a personal relation-
ship — one wonders if Feldman would
have felt less hurt if someone from the
alumni office had explained the deci-
sion not to print his picture. "But for
the school not to crow about a gradu-
ate who married out, how could he
think otherwise?"
Cropping Feldman and his wife out
of the photo was "unconscionable,"
according to Steven Bayme, national
director of contemporary Jewish life at
the American Jewish Committee and
a graduate of the Maimonides School.
But he noted that even Feldman
acknowledged every minority group
requires boundaries to maintain and
preserve its own identity, and that
marrying out is viewed with disfavor
by every denomination of Judaism.
"The price for the individual may be
tragic," Bayme said, "but the loss is far
more destructive for the community
in terms of cultural distinctions and
communal cohesion if you remove the
boundaries."

Irreconcilable Issue

What Feldman's essay points up is that
intermarriage is the irreconcilable issue
for those who argue that American and
Jewish values are compatible.
"We've sold a lot of Jews a bill of
goods when we've told them there
are no contradictions between
being a good Jew and an American:'
said Jonathan Sarna, a professor of
American Jewish history at Brandeis
University. "In America, you are taught
you can marry anyone you fall in love
with, but Judaism argues that we are a
minority culture and will only survive
if Jews marry other Jews."
Sarna chairs an American Jewish
Committee task force on attitudes
toward non-Jews in the community,
and asserts that with an estimated
1.7 million non-Jews living in Jewish
households — to put it another way,

about 23 percent of those living in
Jewish households are not Jewish
— this is "a very important debate" for
the community to engage in.
Citing the "magnitude" of the issue
and the "bitterness that drips out" of
Feldman's essay, Sarna suggests that
perhaps it is time for the community
to reconsider ways to draw in people
rather than ignore or shun them, espe-
cially when there are indications that
many non-Jews are supportive of rais-
ing their children as Jews.
Others would argue that the com-
munity already has tilted so far toward
outreach and acceptance of non-Jews
that there is little incentive left for
them to convert to Judaism.
What Noah Feldman has done, con-
sciously or not, is raise some important
issues, less about his old yeshivah and
Modern Orthodoxy per se than about
dealing with Jews who do not see mar-
rying out as leaving the fold.
Conversion is the most obvious and
desired solution, but for those who
eschew that option, we need to explore
ways to encourage their positive expo-
sure to Jewish life.
Feldman would argue that just
because he intermarried does not
mean he chose to separate himself
from his heritage. Being Jewish, how-
ever, means not only incorporating the
values and traditions but also remain-
ing part of a community.
For all of Feldman's candor in the
essay, he has nothing to say about
where he fits into the community, if
at all; whether he wanted his wife to
convert; whether they are raising their
children as Jews or not; or his feelings
about all this. He only owes us such
information if he wants our under- .
standing and empathy, which clearly
he does.
He does owe Modern Orthodoxy an
apology for pinning it with his anger
over rejection, knowing full well the
rules of engagement. But we in turn owe
him a sense of gratitude for a wake-
up call, however unpleasant, about
the need to struggle more deeply and
honestly with the moral and religious
tensions and contradictions in Modern
Orthodoxy that can never be reconciled,
and about learning how to deal more
sensitively with those on the outside
who may be calling out — in anger and
loneliness — for a way back in.

oin us!
Celebrating a
Century of Caring
1907-2007

Sunday,

September 30, 2007

at the

Detroit Opera House
5:30 in the evening

Event Chairpersons
Pearlena Bodzin, Hannah Moss
Joel Smith, and Howard Tapper

Honoring

Carol Rosenberg

Executive Director

Proceeds from this event
will benefit
Acts of L ving Kindfrs
Gemi Cha

For more information
contact JHAS at
248-661-2999 #348
www.jhas.org

11

=On

4Atanwhior swam

WE'RE PART OF T)

TEAM

Gary Rosenblatt is editor and publisher of

the New York Jewish Week.

August 16 • 2007

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