Join us on our outdoor patio for our casual Sunday supper menu featuring wholewheat flatbread pizzas and handcrafted gourmet burgers. Now offering Summer Cooking Classes, sport." Crane doesn't think air guitar is stupid. It helped him quit his boring computer job a few years ago. And his cocky stage persona is an empowering alter ego for a guy who says he can be mellow and easily embarrassed. "As a kid, I was mortified when my older brother would walk in on me air guitaring," Crane says. The penalty for catching Dan in the act: "My brother would beat me up." "In the eighth grade he continues, "I got spit on by a punk guy at a Black Flag concert, who said I looked too preppie to like the music. He was big- ger than me and had a mohawk, so I just let it go!" The fictional Turoque would not have tolerated such impertinence. "Bjorn is like my protective shield from the torments of the world:' Crane says, feigning melodrama but imply- ing a partial truth. "He probably has some Jewish blood because he's always the under- dog:' Crane adds. "It's perfect that he's the chronic second-place guy, and that he keeps on persevering, just as the Jews did throughout history" Crane's mother, Nancy Conrad, says her son has been air guitaring since age 2, when he began entertaining the family at Jewish holiday gatherings (and jumping on his bed so fiercely that the wooden slats fell out of the frame). "Instead of asking 'why is this night different from all other nights' on Passover, I would have liked to perform Elton John's Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)," Crane quips. Conrad says Crane dutifully attend- ed religious school, "chanted his bar mitzvah Haftorah beautifully:' earned early admission to Wesleyan's film program and good money in the com- puter field — while performing real guitar in various bands. But by the time Crane was in his early 30s, he loathed his day job so much that he descended into a pre- mature midlife crisis. Then, he says, a friend told him about the air guitar circuit in 2003 — "and the late-night partying in hotel rooms and the air groupies, which fed into my childhood rock-star dreams!' The software producer immedi- ately began practicing for the New York regional competition: "I'd turn my song up loud — during the day, because I respected my neighbors — and I'd sometimes videotape myself in my underwear so I could see all the muscles rippling!' He perfected the Jimmy Page high-kick, the Pete Townshend windmill and the Keith Richards cigarette toke — as well as expressions such as the "Oh my god, I rock!" face (this involves a sudden, eye-bulging look of surprise at one's musical prowess). In what sounds like deliberately iron- ic stoner philosophizing, Crane says his style borrows from Nietzsche and the minimalist sculptor Richard Serra. "Air guitar is the most abstract, the most minimal of all art forms, because how much more abstract can you get than an invisible guitar?" he says. "And Nietzsche suggested that the more abstract the art form, the more thor- oughly you must seduce the senses to accept it. So air guitar is the most abstract of all art forms, and therefore the most seductive. You must seduce the audience to accept that you're play- ing the guitar." Crane has parlayed his assorted seductions into a book, To Air is Human: One Man's Quest to Become the World's Greatest Air Guitarist (Riverhead; 2006); into a budding career as a film composer (he wrote the original music for Air Guitar Nation); and as a journalist for pub- lications such as the New York Times. He's now retired from competitive air guitar, although he remains a staunch supporter of the genre. "To err is human:' he says, briefly morphing into the swaggering Turoque. "To air guitar, divine." As part of its first-ever Film and Music Festival, running through July 29, the Detroit Institute of Arts' Detroit Film Theatre screens Air Guitar Nation 7 p.m. Thursday, June 21; 7 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday, June 23; and 4 and 7 p.m. p.m. Sunday, June 24. Tickets are $7.50/$5 DIA members, students and seniors and are available at the DIA box office or by phone at (313) 833- 3237. In addition to the first-run movies on Thursdays, Saturday evenings and Sundays, the festi- val features double-feature mon- ster movie family Saturday mati- nees at 2 p.m. ($5) and 8 p.m. Friday evening contemporary music concerts ($20/$16.50 DIA members, students and seniors). For a complete schedule of events, go to the Web site www.dia.org/dft/schedule.asp. Call for details. J www.jeremyrestaurantandbar.corrt (248) 681-2124 • 1978 Cass Lake Rd. • Keego Harbor Open for Dinner at 5:30 Tuesday-Sunday • Closed Monday Restaurant of the Year, Detroit Free Press Salon Matisse Welcomes Jessica Tama! 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