To Life!
IN
ERF,-,
r
„
Family Life
The prospect of intermarriage.
Ann Arbor
T
hroughout my book tour, I
have gotten the chance to
talk to many great people
about interfaith family life. About
half way through the tour, I suddenly
noticed that each city had a common
element.
No, I'm not talking about how
every town in the U.S. has a Marriott
and an Applebee's. The common
thread existed
in the form of
a question. In
,
every book fair
and author event
where I spoke,
someone asked
me: "How would
you react if your
children inter-
married?"
The first time
I ever heard that question, I laughed
to myself thinking, "Ha, ha. My
daughters aren't going to intermarry
— they'll find nice Jewish boys."
Then, all in a fraction of a second, a
whole range of emotions and doubt
went through my mind as quickly
as Larry Brown goes through NBA
coaching jobs.
After my initial subconscious
chuckle, I remembered that I'm a
Protestant dad raising Jewish daugh-
ters. What do I care if they date or
marry someone who is Christian?
While wrestling with that thought,
I had this nagging feeling —no, more
like a desire — that they don't marry
outside of Judaism. My wife (who is
Jewish) and I have put a lot of time,
effort, and heart into our kids' Jewish
education and upbringing.
While we've only been parents
for about 11 years, we've created
so many wonderful Jewish family
memories. I'd like to see our daugh-
ters continue in this vein without
anyone distracting them from living
Jewishly.
Well I'll be a monkey's uncle. Do
you think maybe this is how my
parents and in-laws felt when Bonnie
and I were engaged?
A few times during the book tour,
someone asked a follow-up ques-
tion: "How would you feel if one of
your daughters converted?" Oy, more
36
April 12 2007
angst. Why don't you just stab me
with a knife? Intermarriage was just
supposed to happen to us adults
— not our children.
So, how did I answer these ques-
tions? Fortunately, I was able to
respond pretty quickly. I only stam-
mered for about five minutes before
speaking. (I had internal issues to
work through — give me a break.)
I decided to answer honestly. I
admitted that it would be a little
tough at first for me to reconcile. But,
my wife and I are not hypocrites. We
intermarried, and it worked.
We would help our kids through it.
We would always let them know that
we supported them and would be
there for them.
As far as conversion goes, I
answered truthfully that I'd be sur-
prised if either of my children left
Judaism. As I mentioned before,
we've created many beautiful Jewish
memories. Our daughters are enjoy-
ing a positive experience as they go
through religious and Hebrew school,
too.
One Faith
Another key is that we are not raising
our girls as both Christian and Jewish.
They are just Jewish, and they know
it. Bonnie and I reinforce this every
day. While I am their Christian dad, I
am also a big part of their Jewish lives.
I help them celebrate their holidays,
including Shabbat every week. In
addition, I actively join them at temple
functions and back up their Jewish
education in the home.
Although I doubt that our daugh-
ters would ever abandon Judaism,
they might end up interdating or
intermarrying.
In this day and age, it's all too easy.
My wife and I would do everything
that we could to help them make
Jewish choices.
In the end, though, it will be their
decision. They would know that they
could always come to us for advice.
For starters, I could give them a good
discount on my book.
Jim Keen is a freelance writer and
columnist for InterfaithFamily.com . He
is the author of Inside Intermarriage:
A Christian Partner's Perspective on
Raising a Jewish Family (URJ Press).
Role Player
Berkley captain contributed solid career.
Steve Stein
Special to The Jewish News
B
en Chesterman wasn't one
of the stars of the talented
Berkley High School boys
basketball team. But the senior certainly
had the respect of his teammates, who
selected him to serve as one of their four
captains.
"Kids aren't dumb," said Berkley coach
Andy Brodi. "They recognize someone
who does things the
right way on and
off the court and is
a role model. That's
Ben."
Chesterman
started for Berkley
as a sophomore after
he surprised himself
and Brodi by mak-
Ben Chesterman
ing the team. "Ben
was the best player on the court during
the three days of tryouts:' Brodi said.
But Chesterman was relegated to bench
duty as a junior and senior. Even though
he lost his starting spot, Chesterman
didn't lose his winning attitude.
"Ben was a good teammate," Brodi
said. "He realized our team was more tal-
ented in his junior and senior years then
when he was a sophomore, so he did his
best to contribute in other ways."
Chesterman's forte as a sophomore and
junior was his rebounding. Brodi counted
on him for defense this season. Those are
unusual strengths for a 6-foot forward.
"Yes they are, but Ben has tremendous
leaping ability and he's fundamentally
sound. He knows how to box out under
the basket:' Brodi said.
Berkley was 37-6 during Chesterman's
final two seasons. The resurgent Bears
won the Oakland Activities Association
Division IV championship in 2005-06
with a 12-0 record, and they were the
OAA Division III champs this year with
an 11-1 mark.
Before winning the back-to-back titles,
Berkley hadn't won a league champion-
ship since 1996. The Bears were 0-21 the
season before Brodi arrived, but they're
69-38 in his five years at the helm.
Chesterman admits it frustrated him to
go from being a starter to a reserve, but
all in all, he enjoyed his Berkley basket-
ball experience.
"I'm twice the player I was when I was
a freshman, probably more, and I met
some great people Chesterman said.
"The maturation process I experienced
during my four years in the program will
help me after I graduate."
With a 3.8 grade point average,
Chesterman is headed to the University
of Michigan. The 17-year-old Huntington
Woods resident isn't taking it easy as his
high school days dwindle. He's a sprinter
and long jumper for the Berkley boys
track team this spring.
Season Switches
The changes in Michigan high school
sports seasons could have a trickle-
down effect on the Metropolitan Detroit
Maccabi Club.
"The switches could be positive,
negative, or may not affect us at
said
Detroit Maccabi delegation head Karen
Gordon. "We'll have to see what hap-
pens."
Last week, the U.S. Supreme Court
let stand a ruling that Michigan's prep
sports scheduling discriminates against
girls. That brought an end to a nine-year
battle between the Michigan High School
Athletic Association and two Grand
Rapids-area mothers and scrambled the
MHSA A s schedule.
Starting with the 2007-08 school year,
boys tennis, girls golf and girls volleyball
will be played in the fall. Girls basketball
will move to winter, and boys golf and
girls tennis will move to spring.
"My biggest concern is our top-notch
[Maccabi] volleyball program:' Gordon
said. "We may lose some girls who won't
be able to play because they have to try
out for their high school team."
Maccabi Games competition, for Jewish
teens ages 13-16, takes place in late July
and August each summer. Detroit will be
a host from Aug. 17-21, 2008.
Detroit still needs boys soccer, girls
softball, boys and girls golf, boys and
girls swimming and boys and girls table
tennis athletes for this summer's compe-
tition. Soccer will be played during the
Aug. 5-9 Games in Baltimore, and soft-
ball, golf, swimming and table tennis will
be played during the Aug. 5-10 Games in
Houston.
Interested athletes should contact
Gordon: (248) 432-5482 or kgordon@
jccdet.org.
Please send sports news to
sports@thejewishnews.com.