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DESIGN A DOLLY!!
ith its glitz, glamor, vil-
ience-building opportunities. They
lains and heroes, Shushan were only trying to help. But the real-
is about as close to
ity remains that if our children are
Hollywood as an ancient city can get.
going to grow into the next generation
Still, what gives the story of Purim
of comeback kids, they're going to
its bona fide blockbuster quality is
need a few practice rounds.
undoubtedly the comeback kid factor.
I mean, who can help but cheer as the
Learning By Consequence
Jews bounce back from
Rather than eliminating our
the brink of death, not
kids' problems, we serve
only intact but partying
them better by helping them
in the streets?
understand that occasional
Of course, Mordecai
hurt, frustration and disap-
and Esther's coup is
pointment are all part of
only the tip of the
growing up. While we're
happy to provide hugs and
it comes to the Jewish
moral support, we have full
people's history of
confidence in their abilities
bouncing back in the
to handle their difficulties
face of hardship.
competently and indepen-
You might say resil-
ience is a Jewish tradi-
So to ensure the next gen-
tion. Unfortunately, this
eration of comeback kids,
particular tradition may
try these hints:
be at risk as recent studies show resil-
When I was your age: If your child
ient children to be something of an
is faced with a challenging situation
in the schoolyard, for example, share
Researchers have called these kids
memories of your own playground
"bubbles apt to burst at the slightest
plights. Ask grandparents and other
smattering of adversity"?
relatives to do the same. In doing so,
Experts believe the answer lies
you'll help him understand that child-
among millions of well-meaning
hood hardship is universal and surviv-
parents positioning themselves as
human shields between their kids and
Get two for one: If your kid offers
disappointment and pain. Take these
daily rundowns of her woes and wor-
ries, strike a deal that for every prob-
Scenario A: During recess, Molly,
lem she reports she should share two
9, and her two best friends, Lauren
positive events. This will help keep the
and Sophie, decide to play tag. When
problems in perspective.
Lauren announces Molly is "it," Sophie
Change the subject: Rather than
concurs. When Molly begs to differ,
attempting to "talk out" every one of
Lauren and Sophie insist that either
your child's difficulties, try changing
Molly be "it" or she can't play at all.
the subject to a happier topic. If the
That afternoon, Molly recounts
issue comes up again, you'll know it
the playground saga to her mother.
likely deserves more attention.
Within milliseconds, Molly's mom is
Have confidence in our past: As
in a three-way conference call with
our ancestors knew, fostering resil-
the other moms discussing the prob-
ience in our children is among our
most important parental responsibili-
Scenario B: Josh worked super-hard ties. We should feel confident in letting
on his spelling homework one night.
our kids have a go at life's everyday
But he forgot to put his homework
hurdles. For only in doing so will we
in his backpack. The next morning,
gear them to jump life's inevitable big
after Josh's carpool pulls off, his mom
ones with the grace of Mordecai and
notices the homework in the kitchen.
Not wanting Josh to get in trouble,
she zooms to school and delivers the
Sharon Duke Estroff is an internationally
syndicated Jewish parenting columnist,
Clearly, Molly and Josh's parents
award-winning Jewish educator and
didn't set out to negate prime resil-
mother of four.