Shabbat Dinner: Real 'Happy Meal' T hey're everywhere ... under beds, behind couches, wedged between seats of SUVs. No, not invading aliens, but Polly Pocket, G.I. Joe and the rest of the fast-food toy family! So rampant are these plastic playthings that studies show one in three toys received by an American child is delivered via a drive-thru win- dow. Unfortunately, the preponder- Sharon Duke ance of Happy Estroff Meals in mod- Parenting Plus em kids' lives represents far more than an onslaught of cheap, imported action figures. It represents the demise of the old-fashioned family dinner. Just how close to brontosaurus status is the family dinner? So close that in 2001 the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) and Coca-Cola teamed up to launch an annual "Family Day:' designed to encourage families to sit down and eat dinner together on the fourth Monday in September. The gov- ernment even provided a list of tips and suggestions for parents on facilitating this annual event. "Families from any older generation would surely laugh at a government-issued annual family dinner prescription:' say researchers at Emory University's MARIAL Center for the Study of Myth and Ritual In American Life in Atlanta. Yet it seems that such a specific decree is exactly what modern families need. Statistics show that kids today spend dou- ble the time they did a decade ago doing schoolwork and taking part in organized activities. In other words, who's got time to gather the gang for a hot-dog hoedown when you're schlepping from school to tutoring to piano to soccer to kiddie stress management workshops? Family dinners are nice, but government mandates, major corporate involvement, research centers devoted almost exclu- sively to studying them — isn't it all a tad extreme? Eating with our kids may seem insig- nificant, but recent research suggests that simple family dinners may, in fact, be among our most powerful parenting tools toward ensuring our children's present and future well-being. Studies show that kids whose families Calendar See four short films and raise funds for children's programming at the Oak Park JCC, where The Tribe, West Bank Story, Matisyahu and Jack the Mench will be shown at 8 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 27. Wine, desserts and a silent auction are part of the event. $25 in advance, $30 at door. (248) 967-4030. Hear the Birmingham Bloomfield Symphony Orchestra perform "Beethoven and Friends" at 7 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 21, at Temple Beth El, Telegraph at 14 Mile, Bloomfield Township. There will be music in the lobby starting at 6:15 p.m. $25 adults, free for stu- dents and those 18 and younger. (248) 645-2276. Participate in "Yom Rishon — The Mitzvah of Tzedakah," a monthly program for Jewish families with children ages 2-5, starting at 10:30 a.m. Sunday, Jan. 21, at Congregation Beth Ahm, 5075 W. Maple, West Bloomfield. Participants are asked to bring a nonperish- able kosher food for Yad Ezra. Call Tessa Goldberg at (248) 851-6880. Participate in a discussion on "Dealing With Aging" conducted by Mindy Silver-Weiss, associate director of the Dorothy and Peter Brown JCC Adult Care Program, during brunch at 11 a.m. Sunday, Jan. 21, in a private home. The event in sponsored by Eleanor Roosevelt Hadassah. (248) 683-5030. 32 January 18 • 2007 have regular meals together tend to have higher self-esteem, interact better with their peers and show higher resilience in the face of adversity, according to a 2003 Emory University study. CASA and other researchers found fam- ily dinners to be the single most significant defense against smoking, drinking, illegal drug use, experimentation with sex, even fistfights among children. Still other stud- ies indicate regular family mealtimes are linked with kids who are more emotionally content, work harder and perform bet- ter in school, have better social skills and healthier eating habits. Perhaps the most glorious rewards of the family dinner, however, are those that can't be measured: the happy buzz of stories passing between parent and child; kids wrapped securely in the familiar comforts of home. As family dinners progressively disappear from the modern kid's radar screen, experts fear so, too, will their boun- tiful benefits. Shabbat Benefits One of the most marvelous aspects of Jewish tradition is its ability to guide, pro- tect and strengthen us at times when we need it most. As if our forefathers could see eons into the future, they gave us a pre- Scout Shabbat All Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, and Venturers in Metropolitan Detroit are invited to attend this year's Scout Shabbat, 5:30 p.m. Friday, Feb. 9, at Adat Shalom Synagogue, Farmington Hills. All Scouts should wear Class A uniforms and will receive a Scout Shabbat patch. Scouts and families are invited to attend a family Shabbat dinner imme- diately following services. The cost for dinner is $10 per person. For reserva- tions by Jan. 31, e-mail jemassociates@ ameritech.net , indicating how many guests will attend dinner. Checks should be made payable to: BSA 364 and mailed to: BSA 364 c/o Carrie Perlman, 3180 Park Forest Drive, West Bloomfield, MI 48324. Those Scouts who have earned their Maccabee, Aleph or Ner Tamid religious emblems during the past 12 months should indicate so when sending res- ervations so they can be recognized for their achievements. For information, call Peter Perlman, (248) 909-4197. scription for a family dinner. Instead of designating the fourth Monday in September for this gastronomic gathering, they mandated that we share an enjoyable, resilience-building, self-esteem- fostering, social-skill enhancing, nutrition- ally advantageous, spiritually uplifting family dinner every single Friday night. (And studies show one family dinner a week is just enough to put the magic into motion.) As our sages clearly knew, and research- ers are only beginning to document, the weekly Shabbat dinner is far more than challah, baked chicken and matzah ball soup. It is a vehicle for releasing our kids from the dangerous clutches of Ronald McDonald. It is a means of keeping our families safe, sane and happy in a stress- ful, frenetically paced 21st-century world. It is a God-given tool for ensuring our children's future — our future — is as warm and bright as the glowing Sabbath candles. Sharon Duke Estroff is an internationally syndi- cated Jewish parenting columnist, award-win- ning Jewish educator and mother of four. Her first book will be released by Broadway Books, a division of Random House, this summer. Beth Shalom Shabbat Congregation Beth Shalom in Oak Park now has two services every Friday night. The traditional service will be in the cha- pel. Other services also will be held. The first Friday night of the month will be Shirei Shabbat (the songs of Shabbat). The second Friday night will be Family Friday with a different theme followed by dinner; reservations are required. The third Friday night will be led by a different arm of the synagogue. On Jan. 19, the sister- hood will lead the service. The fourth Friday night of each month will be a different type of service. On Jan. 26, attendees are asked to bring a reading to share that has personal meaning to them. ORT Seeks Helpers Join the Koach Chapter of the ORT America Michigan Region to sort books for BookStock at 6 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 23, at Laurel Park Place in Livonia. Chairs are Roz Blanck, Shelly Mendelson and Sandy Shecter. For information or res- ervations, call Lois G. Sandberg Michigan Region Office, (248) 723-8860.