Shabbat Dinner: Real 'Happy Meal'
T
hey're everywhere ... under beds,
behind couches, wedged between
seats of SUVs. No, not invading
aliens, but Polly Pocket, G.I. Joe and the
rest of the fast-food toy family! So rampant
are these plastic
playthings that
studies show
one in three toys
received by an
American child
is delivered via a
drive-thru win-
dow.
Unfortunately,
the
preponder-
Sharon Duke
ance
of Happy
Estroff
Meals
in mod-
Parenting Plus
em kids' lives
represents far
more than an onslaught of cheap, imported
action figures. It represents the demise of
the old-fashioned family dinner.
Just how close to brontosaurus status
is the family dinner? So close that in 2001
the National Center on Addiction and
Substance Abuse (CASA) and Coca-Cola
teamed up to launch an annual "Family
Day:' designed to encourage families to
sit down and eat dinner together on the
fourth Monday in September. The gov-
ernment even provided a list of tips and
suggestions for parents on facilitating this
annual event.
"Families from any older generation
would surely laugh at a government-issued
annual family dinner prescription:' say
researchers at Emory University's MARIAL
Center for the Study of Myth and Ritual In
American Life in Atlanta.
Yet it seems that such a specific decree
is exactly what modern families need.
Statistics show that kids today spend dou-
ble the time they did a decade ago doing
schoolwork and taking part in organized
activities. In other words, who's got time
to gather the gang for a hot-dog hoedown
when you're schlepping from school to
tutoring to piano to soccer to kiddie stress
management workshops?
Family dinners are nice, but government
mandates, major corporate involvement,
research centers devoted almost exclu-
sively to studying them — isn't it all a tad
extreme?
Eating with our kids may seem insig-
nificant, but recent research suggests that
simple family dinners may, in fact, be
among our most powerful parenting tools
toward ensuring our children's present and
future well-being.
Studies show that kids whose families
Calendar
See four short films and raise funds for children's programming at the Oak Park JCC,
where The Tribe, West Bank Story, Matisyahu and Jack the Mench will be shown at 8
p.m. Saturday, Jan. 27. Wine, desserts and a silent auction are part of the event. $25 in
advance, $30 at door. (248) 967-4030.
Hear the Birmingham Bloomfield Symphony Orchestra perform "Beethoven and
Friends" at 7 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 21, at Temple Beth El, Telegraph at 14 Mile, Bloomfield
Township. There will be music in the lobby starting at 6:15 p.m. $25 adults, free for stu-
dents and those 18 and younger. (248) 645-2276.
Participate in "Yom Rishon — The Mitzvah
of Tzedakah," a monthly program for Jewish
families with children ages 2-5, starting at
10:30 a.m. Sunday, Jan. 21, at Congregation
Beth Ahm, 5075 W. Maple, West Bloomfield.
Participants are asked to bring a nonperish-
able kosher food for Yad Ezra. Call Tessa
Goldberg at (248) 851-6880.
Participate in a discussion on "Dealing With Aging" conducted by Mindy Silver-Weiss,
associate director of the Dorothy and Peter Brown JCC Adult Care Program, during
brunch at 11 a.m. Sunday, Jan. 21, in a private home. The event in sponsored by Eleanor
Roosevelt Hadassah. (248) 683-5030.
32
January 18 • 2007
have regular meals together tend to have
higher self-esteem, interact better with
their peers and show higher resilience in
the face of adversity, according to a 2003
Emory University study.
CASA and other researchers found fam-
ily dinners to be the single most significant
defense against smoking, drinking, illegal
drug use, experimentation with sex, even
fistfights among children. Still other stud-
ies indicate regular family mealtimes are
linked with kids who are more emotionally
content, work harder and perform bet-
ter in school, have better social skills and
healthier eating habits.
Perhaps the most glorious rewards of the
family dinner, however, are those that can't
be measured: the happy buzz of stories
passing between parent and child; kids
wrapped securely in the familiar comforts
of home. As family dinners progressively
disappear from the modern kid's radar
screen, experts fear so, too, will their boun-
tiful benefits.
Shabbat Benefits
One of the most marvelous aspects of
Jewish tradition is its ability to guide, pro-
tect and strengthen us at times when we
need it most. As if our forefathers could
see eons into the future, they gave us a pre-
Scout Shabbat
All Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, and
Venturers in Metropolitan Detroit
are invited to attend this year's Scout
Shabbat, 5:30 p.m. Friday, Feb. 9, at Adat
Shalom Synagogue, Farmington Hills.
All Scouts should wear Class A uniforms
and will receive a Scout Shabbat patch.
Scouts and families are invited to
attend a family Shabbat dinner imme-
diately following services. The cost for
dinner is $10 per person. For reserva-
tions by Jan. 31, e-mail jemassociates@
ameritech.net , indicating how many
guests will attend dinner. Checks should
be made payable to: BSA 364 and mailed
to: BSA 364 c/o Carrie Perlman, 3180
Park Forest Drive, West Bloomfield, MI
48324.
Those Scouts who have earned their
Maccabee, Aleph or Ner Tamid religious
emblems during the past 12 months
should indicate so when sending res-
ervations so they can be recognized for
their achievements.
For information, call Peter Perlman,
(248) 909-4197.
scription for a family dinner.
Instead of designating the fourth
Monday in September for this gastronomic
gathering, they mandated that we share an
enjoyable, resilience-building, self-esteem-
fostering, social-skill enhancing, nutrition-
ally advantageous, spiritually uplifting
family dinner every single Friday night.
(And studies show one family dinner a
week is just enough to put the magic into
motion.)
As our sages clearly knew, and research-
ers are only beginning to document, the
weekly Shabbat dinner is far more than
challah, baked chicken and matzah ball
soup. It is a vehicle for releasing our kids
from the dangerous clutches of Ronald
McDonald. It is a means of keeping our
families safe, sane and happy in a stress-
ful, frenetically paced 21st-century world.
It is a God-given tool for ensuring our
children's future — our future — is as
warm and bright as the glowing Sabbath
candles.
Sharon Duke Estroff is an internationally syndi-
cated Jewish parenting columnist, award-win-
ning Jewish educator and mother of four. Her
first book will be released by Broadway Books,
a division of Random House, this summer.
Beth Shalom Shabbat
Congregation Beth Shalom in Oak Park
now has two services every Friday night.
The traditional service will be in the cha-
pel. Other services also will be held.
The first Friday night of the month will
be Shirei Shabbat (the songs of Shabbat).
The second Friday night will be Family
Friday with a different theme followed by
dinner; reservations are required. The third
Friday night will be led by a different arm
of the synagogue. On Jan. 19, the sister-
hood will lead the service.
The fourth Friday night of each month
will be a different type of service. On Jan.
26, attendees are asked to bring a reading to
share that has personal meaning to them.
ORT Seeks Helpers
Join the Koach Chapter of the ORT
America Michigan Region to sort books
for BookStock at 6 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 23, at
Laurel Park Place in Livonia.
Chairs are Roz Blanck, Shelly Mendelson
and Sandy Shecter. For information or res-
ervations, call Lois G. Sandberg Michigan
Region Office, (248) 723-8860.