Front Lines
NOTEBOOK
By Any Other Name
A
game that I enjoy and have written about before is playing
.
with names.
It's fun and challenging to try to come up with pairings
of names that will produce a humorous result. It is also fun to create
names based on sound/word play.
Look at the following and then try your
hand at it.
If Condoleezza Rice's daughter were to
marry Edith Piaff's son, her last name would
be Rice-Piaff.
If Jacob Zuma, deputy president of South
Africa's National congress named his son
Monte, he'd be Monte Zuma.
If the former president of Mexico, Vicente
Fox, had a daughter and she were to marry
actress Helen Hunt's son, her last name would
Sy Manello
be Fox-Hunt.
Editorial
If Tom Hanks had a daughter and she were
Assistant
to marry Madeleine O'Hair's son, the last
name would be Hanks-O'Hair.
Now that you see how easy it is, let me share with you some of my
inspiration for this "game." One of the most creative sets of minds in
this field (mind — field ? There's another column) belong to the writ-
ers of the National Public Radio show Car Talk. Here are some of the
results. (Be sure to say each aloud to catch the play on words.)
Local news reporter ... Phil Mataleven
Staff kitchen designer ... Jaoquin Freezer
Yard designer ... Roxanne Debris
Excursion planner ... Deepak Tumuch
Accounts payable administrator ... Imelda Czechs
Air traffic controller ... Ulanda U. Lucky
Art critics ... Phyllis Steen and Dot Snice
Assertiveness trainer ... Lois Steem
Customer care rep ... Kurt Reply
Band leader ... Sasha Noyes
Bowling coach ... Menachem Down
Traffic director... Laura Biden
Chief information officer ... Otto Delupe
Complaint line operator ... Xavier Breath
Credit counselor ... Max Stout
Cruise activity planner ... Eton Doolittle
Dental hygenist ... Ginger Vitis
Dentist ... Perry O'Dontal
Desert chef ... Tyra Meesu
Catering director ... Russell Upsumgrub
Director of photography ... Len Scapon
Drycleaner ... Preston Creases
Exercise chief ... Liza Round
Fact checker ... Ella Fynoe
Fashion consultant ... Natalie Attired
Grammar consultant ... I.M. Shirley Wright
Footwear consultant ... Susan Shocks
Grounds maintenance chief ... Moe D'Lawn
Lighting expert ... Shanda Lear
Marriage counselor ... Marion Haste
Nutrition consultants ... Eaton Wright and Liven Good
Spokespersons ... Howie Vasive and Lou Scannon
Proof reader ... Erin Spelling
And so it goes. Who knows what hours of fun you can have by just
being punny. Well, as the "Governator" might have said when asked to
name his favorite modern playwright and favorite classical composer,
"Albee; Bach." El
JNenline
A Super Mitzvah
Sam Gringlas took a common bar mitzvah tzedakah project, volun-
teering for Yad Ezra, a step further. Like many b'nai mitzvah students,
Sam sorted and distributed food at the Berkley-based kosher food
bank. But as his community service project, he also collected six large
banana boxes of food, 501 pounds worth, raising $188 for Yad Ezra.
"I am grateful to have been able to contribute to Yad Ezra, which
is such an important organization in our Jewish community' the
Farmington Hills student said.
"We are honored that Sam has taken Yad Ezra's mission to heart and
has partnered with us at this very special time in his life said Lea
Luger, Yad Ezra development director.
In a bold action for a 13-year-old, Sam first sought Jim Hiller's per-
mission to set up his Cans for Kindness Food Drive booth in the front
lobby at the Hiller's Supermarket in Commerce Township on Nov. 19.
He asked shoppers to buy and donate to him a nonperishable kosher
food item or a toiletry, which he, in turn, would donate to Yad Ezra. He
gave each donor a bagel in a gesture of thanks for the kindness.
"I believe that it is important that every person, no matter what
their monetary status, has enough food so they won't be hungry,' Sam
told Hiller in a letter.
"If I have your permission," he added, "you would also be helping
make the world a better place for everyone'
- Robert A. Sklar, editor
December 14 • 2006
Special Report!
Interested in learning more
about the Conservative
movement's recent rulings
on homosexuality? Find out
about the decision and what
it means as well as com-
ments from Rabbi Daniel
Nevins of Mat Shalom
Synagogue, co-author of one
of the adopted papers.
Only at JNonline.us . Just
click on News on the left.
JBlog
Jeff Klein offers his
Perspectives on everything
from dating to friendship.
Always thoughtful, often
provocative. Or perhaps
you'd rather read about
the adventures of Laurie
Freernah's China Punim, 4-
year-old-Amanda? Only at
JNonline.us. Just click on
JBlog on the menu on the
left.
Latest From Israel
o
Deck The Halls
Ferndale Public Schools delayed an elementary school concert this month
after a Jewish parent complained about the concert's content.
The joint concert by fifth- and sixth-grade students from Kennedy and
Coolidge schools was postponed from Dec. 4 to Dec. 20 by the school dis-
trict to allow the students time to learn new songs for the program.
"We will be ensuring that this concert will be inclusive in its program',' a
schools spokeswoman said.
Sharon Grene of Oak Park complained to the Anti-Defamation League
that Christmas was the only holiday represented on the 11-song program.
The ADL asked the schools to include other holiday or secular music.
Betsy Kelman, ADL regional director, was glad the schools chose to
change the program rather than cancel it. "We didn't want to be the grinch
who stole Christmas',' she said.
After the decision last week, Ferndale Public Schools sent copies of their
board policies on religious and patriotic observances to all staff members.
Meanwhile, a seven-foot menorah stolen from a Canton community
center shortly after the community's Christmas tree lighting ceremony
in November was found over the weekend on the front lawn of a Canton
home. The $800 menorah was returned this week and police are still try-
ing to determine if the theft was a crime of a prank.
- Alan Hitsky, associate editor
12
This Week
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