One Stage Missing
ears ago, a "Ten Stages of
Drunkenness" T-shirt briefly
made the rounds based on
an excerpt from the Dan Jenkins 1981
novel, Baja Oklahoma:
1.Witty and Charming, Part I
2.Rich and Powerful
7.Crank Up the Enola Gay
8.Witty and Charming, Part II
I never bought a T-shirt — I just
wrote the list on a piece of paper and
placed it by the cash register at the bar.
It helped me judge the condition of my
After many years spent serving
drinks, the one thing I've learned is
that alcohol only removes that filter we
all have in our brains that prevents us
from doing a shoulder roll in the aisle
were you think-
would be less
movie star get-
ting caught in
a car with a
is funny. A
drunken movie star ranting anti-
Semitic statements at a police officer
Well, I missed the deadline by six
weeks, I got the venue wrong and,
after reading excerpts of the "two-
Morning America interview with
Diane Sawyer on Oct. 12 and 13, I may
have gotten the contrition part wrong,
"What I need to do to heal myself
and to be assuring and allay the fears
of others, and to heal
them if they had any
heart wounds from
something I may have
said:' Gibson said. "So,
this is the last thing I
want to be is that kind
He also called the anti-Semitic
statements he made"just the stupid
rambling of a drunkard."
Once, when I showed up a loud-
mouth at the pool table by beating
him in front of his equally loud-
mouthed buddies, he didn't call me
a "#%#A &•@%" because that would
have been "the stupid rambling of a
He called me a "#%#A &@')/6 Jew,"
which isn't stupid.It's just being an
anti-Semite without that filter.
When he and his buddies were
escorted from the bar, he waltzed
into the middle of the street, started
screaming at the passing cars and
gave the finger to a Chicago Police
Department paddy wagon.
Now that was stupid.
Gibson called his anti-Semitic
statements "just the stupid
rambling of a drunkard."
of a busy restaurant, pouring a heap of
sugar into gazpacho soup thinking it's
parmesan cheese, or standing on a bar
stool impersonating Harry Caray sing-
ing Take Me Out to the Ball Game
at a Cubs game.
But alcohol doesn't make a person
I was willing to give Mel Gibson
the benefit of the doubt. I backed him
when I felt the protests of his Jesus
movie were unwarranted, at least until
the movie came out.
And I reserved judgment when
he was arrested for drunk driving in
Malibu on July 28 and told the arrest-
ing officer, "The Jews are responsible
for all the wars in the world." Then he
asked him, "Are you a Jew?"
Outrage and condemnation was
heaped upon Mel as he went into
I thought that within two months
Jay Leno would have another contrite
movie star on his show, and Jay would
ask Mel the same question he asked
Hugh Grant after the Divine Brown
Fri y October 2
6:06pm - 9:OOpn i
Saturday October 21st
9:00am - 6:00pm
Clothing Designer Knee DT&
S Rick Dunn Y.P. Sales
Coppley will be on hand
To Present Fall 2005.
the new look of the
During this event you may have
a suit tuxedo, sportcoat 5 trouser
at e# the rack poces Also we are
pleased to announce that a sive/el
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Trunk Show prices!
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During Trunk Show
A/so feat/Pi/1g Eton Dress Shirts.
Buy any Eton Dress ShirtS get the
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S Wine Taw*,
Jordon Spraggs will ¢e offering_
a buy one get a second at 50% off
special on World renowned
Fiorsheim Shoes &' Frye Boots.
Fashion Feels So Goo
MON, TUE, WED 9:30 am - 6 pm
• THU & FRI 9:30 am - 9 pm
SATURDAY 9 am - 6 pm • SUNDAY 12 noon - 4 pm
• Wall Systems • Home Offices •
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Visit Our Large Factory Showroom
Choose Your Style and Finish
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Harry Kirsbaum's e-mail address is
2121 Easy Street • Commerce Township
Corner of Welch 1/2 mile North of Maple
Welch is 1/2 Mile west of M-5 and I Mile west of Haggerty
October 9 - 2006